The Crying Adulterer
May 25, 2011 24 Comments
I once knew this man, a good family friend and a known philanderer, who compartmentalized his life so successfully that despite his “sextracurricular” activities, his marriage remained peaceful. There were no rumors of problems or fights and when I saw him with his wife they always seemed very content. And when I saw him with his mistress du jour, he seemed very content.
For their 25th anniversary, the couple decided to renew their vows. The philanderer cried when he recited his pledges of loyalty, devotion and love. He became so emotional that he had to stop numerous times to wipe away the tears. Was this an act? Could an insurance salesman easily summon up such waterworks? I looked around for reactions. Some were touched and some were surprised. I was confused.
What was he really crying about? Were they tears of joy or tears of regret? I spoke with his wife at the reception and complemented her for organizing such a beautiful party. She said that it was all her husband’s doing including writing both their vows.
Now, I was even more confused. Was this philanderer actually a romantic? Then I realized that men who cheat must be “hopeless romantics.” Was it the need to constantly experience the rush of romance that drives them to pursue other women? Did they equate lust for romance? Moreover, was his wife oblivious, in denial or indifferent to his cheating? I had so many questions and thoughts, but no answers. What I did see was that they were still married and celebrating.
Then the philanderer came up to me and said you need to get married young lady (this was years ago). You can have it all just like me he said with his arms spread wide in pride. Then he saw a woman standing by the entrance. He excused himself, walked toward her and he was gone. About an hour later, people were beginning to look for him. His wife just said, oh he’s probably taking a break, but he’ll be back. He did come back. And they celebrated and danced and laughed. I didn’t see the other woman again. Maybe she was tucked away somewhere in a compartment labelled “Use only when needed.”
Happy Wednesday everybody,