‘Twas the Night of My Date–Poetic Revenge
October 22, 2011 87 Comments
‘Twas the night of my date, when all through the house
I ran like a loon while buttoning my blouse
Tucked in my purse was a condom just in case
We ended the night in amorous embrace
My doubts I kept hidden and snug in my head
Be positive said all the books I have read
I sat and waited for his knock on my door
When no one came knocking my heart fell to the floor
Then I heard the phone ring with “the” dreaded call
It was my date saying he’d had a bad fall
I listened as my noodle started thinking
That something in his words was surely stinking
So I found his address and there was the show
He was bumping and grinding my friend the ho!
My heart cried a bit but my noodle plotted
Behind bushes to prevent being spotted
With my cell phone in hand, I focused and clicked
On their nudity a good angle I picked
Then I ran like a stalker back to my car
Which thankfully was not parked very far
Lafemme, what are you doing my conscience roared
Oh shut up I said because I have grown bored
With taking the licking from god awful schlongs
Who do not think twice when they’re doing their wrongs
To a woman like me with such pure intent
But now is the time for my anger to vent
Back home I distorted and photoshopped pics
I then turned his big schlong into a small dick
Her tummy morphed to a muffin top belly
While a romance movie played on the teli
I finished my “art” of their intimacy
Then I shared it for all of the world to see
I posted “it” on his Twitter and Facebook
Blimey had I become an Internet crook?
But nothing is vile in equating the wrongs
Of the misdeeds done by a ho and a schlong
I uploaded and clicked the pics in a jiff
Then I sat back and sipped my apéritif
Let it be said never to vex one like me
My noodle will always find vengeance with glee
Thank you technology my weapon of choice
You’ve given my anger ubiquitous voice
In this adventure is how I got even
With a devious schlong named Richard Stevens
Disclaimer: The above is for entertainment purposes. Lafemmeroar would never take pics of two people bumping uglies with her phone as she does not yet know how to use that bit of technology even though she’s a photoshop expert. And if she did do such a “misdeed” she would do so anonymously–she’s crazy, but she ain’t STUPID.Any similarity to persons (
Dick Richard Steven) living or dead is purely coincidental, but if this has happened to you before and you start getting ideas of revenge, Lafemmeroar is NOT to be held liable or responsible for any consequences, injuries, fatalities OR EMBARRASSMENTS that may occur in the enactment of the above post.
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© 2011 Lafemmeroar