Ultimate Compost Recipe– The Growing Powers of Crap
November 4, 2011 47 Comments
Are you a gardener with a black thumb? What you need is some good quality crap for your dirt.
But why waste your dough buying fertilizer when you can make your own? My “Ferti-Liar” compost recipe will transform even the most barren soil into rich fertile ground.
“Ferti-Liar” Compost Recipe
♦ 1 really big container
♦ a hell of a lot of garden debris (dry leaves, small bark , grass clippings and etc)
♦ food trash (egg shells, rinds and peels, and coffee grounds)
and for the secret ingredient
♦ 1 Full of Crap Dirty Lying Bastard
(can also be substituted with Full of Crap Dirty Lying Ho)
Mix ingredients in large bin. You might need to hack the “secret ingredient” into smaller pieces. Spread the “ferti-liar” (mixture might be moist and icky–like a smoothie consistency) all over your lawn or garden plots and see lush greenery grow in no time.
Plants love crap and the “ferti-liar” is full of it!
Disclaimer: The above is for entertainment purposes only. Lafemmeroar doesn’t know a mound of soil about gardening and she’s no green thumb–she can’t even grow weeds. Gardeners who know any “full of crap dirty lying bastards or hos” should not use any of said “secret ingredient” as it has not been approved by the GAA (Gardening Association of America). Lafemmeroar is NOT to be held liable or responsible for any consequences, injuries, fatalities or funky growths that may sprout from the ground as a result of from this compost recipe.
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© 2011 Lafemmeroar