A Crazy Chick’s Version of a Perfect World
November 10, 2011 63 Comments
In my perfect world:
the more you eat the less you’ll weigh
the drive-thru lane always gets your order right
there are no cosmetic surgeons because wrinkles don’t exist
children are happy, loved, nurtured and educated
soldiers will carry tambourines and daisies instead of guns and bombs
politicians will think about the people instead of the next election
I can have an orgasm just by thinking about it and it will last for as long as I want it to …
Lady Gaga looks human and not like an alien
there will be no dead beat dads
there are no death and taxes
everyone can do cartwheels
it will be confirmed that Marilyn Manson is a hermaphrodite
everyone is beautiful in their own special way
everyone can afford designer shoes and handbags
guys who cheat will never get an erection ever again … ever … ever … NEVER
dishes wash themselves
poop doesn’t stink
brussel sprouts will taste like bon bons
cell phones will automatically shut themselves off in a movie theater
tweens will read more and text less
cars won’t start when a drunk is behind the wheel
there is more leg room when flying coach
all public toilets are immaculately clean
chocolate is calorie free
men and women will finally truly understand each other
all liars will lose their tongue
no one will ever get constipated
there is no injustice, but there is poetic justice
Cancer will only be an astrological sign and not a disease
people who stick their foot in their mouth will actually know what toe jam tastes like
eating cakes and pies will be as healthy as eating a salad
every office slave gets a two-hour lunch break
there is no such thing as rush hour traffic
no knows about the Kardashians
The Beatles are back together again
we know who killed JFK
all my blog friends will get Freshly Pressed
What’s your idea of a perfect world?
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© 2011 Lafemmeroar
About Lafemmeroar
The Kardashians are starting trouble in the Gamma Quadrant pirating cargo vessels . I think the Romulans and the Klingons are in on it too. Where’s Kirk when you need him ? Oh, yeah. Making a fool of himself in those dopey commercials.
I love Kirk and those dopey commercials
I just learned recently that William Shatner is 80 years old! That just blew me away…
ha! Loved ALL of them!
And don’t talk to me about wrinkles – because of my anger that I had when I was a teenager I’ve now got a permanent wrinkle on my forehead, and in the mirror today I noticed that I’ve started getting crows’ feet! down with wrinkles!!!
Jules
http://andsuddenlyisee.wordpress.com / http://wordshakermag.wordpress.com
I’ve got a frown line on my forehead right between my brows. It’s especially prominent in the mornings. When I get up and see it I’m thinking gee, I must have done a lot of thinking while I was asleep …
My regular 5 bucks coffee sachet tastes like espresso.
I ace anatomy besides other things and get full scholarship at john hopkins.
He stops being a ladies man and FOCUS on me only.
People don’t get psychogenic diarrhea on exam eves.
Lafemme wins the best humor blog.
Kids are not born with anomalies.
Everyone wears deo and hygiene becomes endemic.
I love your world Xehraaa
Perfect for me is having my novels turned into movies
That I’m no longer lactose intolerant and can eat as much ice cream as I want
Mothers would stop it with making their children “disappear”
There was no such thing as a toothache
That my yard would clean itself
Why you say that about Marilyn? I like her. Wendy Williams, on the other hand…
Wendy Williams is a dude in a dress right?
Everyone says it’s really a woman but I’m not convinced.
She does a night time gossip show. Google to see her/him.
Yes, I know of Wendy Williams. She does some hosting for Logo as well. I do think she’s a chick … just a masculine looking one.
I know, but I just can’t get past the fact that Wendy Williams looks and acts just like a Flip Wilson character creation. (He was a comedian a looong time ago)
OMG that’s who she reminds me of!!!!!! Wendy Williams has a masculinity about her that I could never place and it’s because she does have a bit of Flip Wilson especially around the mouth loll Oh thank you for shedding light into this. Only I think Flip Wilson probably did look more femme than she does, but I’m sure she’s a chick.
If everything on that list is too much to accomplish to get a perfect world, then my vote goes to ‘no death and no taxes’. Especially, no deaths.
Yes, that would mean that we would never lose our loved ones.
Its Friday everyday!
Oh I wish it were …
I’m hung up on the orgasm thing–how would anything ever get done?
I love the idea of poop not stinking and the Beatles getting back together…and lots of others.
Your blog hasn’t been Freshly Pressed? What’s up with that?
No I haven’t been FP, but I have something better you and the rest of the CCs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and with the big “O” thing I’m a multi-tasker … believe me I’ll get things done with pleasure
I wouldn’t wanna be doing anything else. I mean, wouldn’t you need a nap afterwards?
Yes I would want to nap, but in my fantasy I’m in a constant orgasmic state of being … hehehehehe
At least we have the pleasure of knowing you are always super fresh! Crazy chicks? Cool chicks! As for my perfect world? Past loves stay best friends.
Oh I love it Patti.
“men and women will finally truly understand each other” I’ll drink to that
“soldiers will carry tambourines and daisies instead of guns and bombs”…..really….LOL.
“eating cakes and pies will be as healthy as eating a salad”….my Mrs would love that.
In my perfect world there is something in it for everyone
Luv ya Amor24 
WoW that made my day . Great Job. I love reading your work.
Love all the things on the list.
In my perfect world people would know how to park and leave enough space for the next guy.
OMG Fox that is a good one. Why didn’t I think of it??????? Just the other day, I was soooo ticked off because this car double parked …. thanks so much for your comment!
You could never run out of breath. There is nothing worse than walking up a flight or two of stairs and meeting someone at the top who is in great shape and wants to talk.
Yes, absolutely! Such a reality would make elevators obsolete.
Wow, can I live in that world too? Sounds like a lot of fun!
Hey there!!!!!! So glad you came by. And yes you can absolutely live in that world. I’m having a ball eating cakes and pies and calorie free chocos–I’m having an orgasmic time!
I love all of those…and I love the last one…even though I haven’t yet come out to be a great writer, well because I’m not a writer..hehe great list. :0)
Oh Jsh … we are all writer in our own right and on our way to greatness–although the journey might have some obstacles. So glad you liked the interview
Great LIST!
Thanks Shonnie
oh this does sound like the perfect world. for sure. love it. especially the lady gaga one
I’m glad you feel the same way about her
one without eating disorders, self hatred, and animal abuse.
one with complete happiness.
x
Thank you for sharing your perfect world with us Nicole.
Oh if only Lafem,
Lol!…some things on that list could happen and are possible…the others….well, as you said…”In a perfect world”.
We would not be human if we couldn’t dream right?
Very true honey.
How about “drinking wouldn’t be followed by a hangover ever again”? I’d vote for that one!
Oh yeah. No hangover headaches should be included in the list
I can agree on most of them. And oh, I’m doing the ‘teens will read more and text less’ part!
Yay Random
Love this list! My addition is this:
Finding your soul-mate would be a given and you would know ‘at first sight’.
Haha, so now you know exactly where I am in my life right now,
.
You reveal a little more with each comment you make Holly
Don’t we all?
Yeah, about that orgasm thing. If it works the way you describe it, I’d be willing to bet nothing else would ever get done. Not one single thing…
A lot of moaning and groaning that’s for sure. It’s better than doing the dishes.
Ah, perfection–I loved your list! Here’s to moaning and groaning and no more dishwashing!
Thank you Gayle
I like all your ideas, but the most “guys who cheat will never get an erection ever again … ever … ever … NEVER” and “all liars will lose their tongue”… so, may it happen!
Healthy cakes, which as more we eat, the less we weight? I love this idea
Join the club of other chicks who feel the same way Sabina
I second the ‘chocolate is calorie-free’ and ‘the beatles are back together again’! Oh wait… I second just about everything you said!
(esp. the ‘guys who cheat will never get an erection ever again … ever … ever … NEVER’…)
Glad you liked the list Bonnie. A crazy chick like me needs her wish list.
It’s quite sad how some of these things on this list should be true but they aren’t. The politicians for example.
Nice list. I enjoyed reading it.
Hi Nicole,
Thanks for visiting my blog. So glad you liked my fantasy list. You’re right most of those things should be true
cool one dear!
Thank you
Perverts, sex offenders, rapists etc get castrated!
Oh that’s their “gift” this year Viv courtesy of the Crazy Chicks Club