Jesse James Relationship Outlaw or Medical Phenomenon?
November 14, 2011 64 Comments
Lafemmeroar here again with the latest crazy celebrity news and gossip that is just too juicy to be true:
Jesse James (JJ) cheated on America’s sweetheart Sandra Bullock and when she booted him to the curb, he went on to find love with tattoo queen Kat Von D, but that didn’t last either when she found out he’s been swinging his schlong to other “glorious holes.” A recent report by Schlong Swing Online states that JJ cheated on Kat with nineteen different women during their relationship. But JJ denies this and to prove his innocence, he submitted to a lie detector test and to everyone’s surprise JJ passed with flying colors. When asked how he pulled it off JJ stated, “I did not cheat on Kat. My schlong was true to her.”
Well folks JJ’s private physician Dr. Drew Penilehickey reveals that JJ is a medical phenomenon as he is a multi-schlonged dude. “JJ was born with 20 schlongs and he has the ability to hide the other 19 through a stealth bio-mechanism that’s akin to how certain reptiles camouflage themselves,” states Dr. Penilehickey. “In his mind he’s never cheated on a woman because he’s never double dipped.”
Sex World, an adult entertainment production company has approached JJ of possibly doing a video where he takes on 20 women at the same time. JJ has not been available for comment on the possible video shoot, but if it happens this multiple mounting will certainly earn multiple millions as sexaholics and those interested in the bizarre will surely clamor for the DVD.
So what do you think. Is JJ a relationship outlaw or is he a medical phenomenon?
Disclaimer: The above is for entertainment purposes. Lafemmeroar received this information from an imaginary gossip site that resides in her noodle–and you know how unreliable her noodle is. She has not been able to confirm if JJ indeed has 19 or twenty schlongs so his denial of cheating may be true as it is possible that he’s never double-dipped the same schlong in different “glorious holes.” Any similarity to cheating celebrity schlongs living or dead is purely coincidental. Lafemmeroar is NOT to be held liable or responsible for any consequences, injuries, fatalities or falsities that may occur as a result of this faux news post.
Nominated for Best Humor Blog at Bloggers Choice Awards. Please vote.
Join the Crazy Chicks Club.
Click here if you’re a Crazy Freak.
Visit my fan page on Facebook.
© 2011 Lafemmeroar