The Harmony and the Malfunctions
December 9, 2011 64 Comments
As I reflect on my life this year, I have much to be thankful for. I have my family and friends. I have my writing and ♥you my readers♥. ”You” are the harmony in my universe.
And I still have HOPE that I will find someone to love.
I, however, AM NOT THANKFUL FOR these MALFUNCTIONS:
Beautiful shoes and handbags that NEVER go on sale
The CARBS in mashed potatoes
How my alarm clock always goes off when I’m dreaming about “fantasy man” just before my happy ending
Politicians (with too many skeletons in their closet-keep your pants zipped and your schlongs “un-tweeted”)
People who TALK TOO MUCH (can I get word in?)
Long lines … anywhere
Upper class kids who act like gangsters (pull up your pants and stop talking ghetto)
Tweens who act likethey’re going on 40
The non-existence of Lala-Land … reality sucks
Writer’s block … that’s my noodle on an extended pause
Bad customer service … Can I get some help?
People who deny having plastic surgery even though the stretching on their face gives them a perpetual “DUH” look
How celebrities get away with community service when regular people actually have to go behind bars
Any chick named Kardashian–enuff already!!!!!!! Do You Hear that E!?
Reality Stars … they’re obnoxious, untalented media hounds …
Misanthropes … just go to Mars … there’s no one there to hate
Women who put down other women … just ’cause you feel like crap doesn’t mean you can put other chicks down
Men who put down other women … STOP OR WE’LL HAVE TO PUT YOU SIX FEET UNDER
Men who like to double dip their schlongs … you’re not ice cream
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© 2011 Lafemmeroar