Lies, lies, lies …

The best and the smartest have been victims of duplicity.

There are real good liars out there …

and there are some real good believers of lies.

It happens to the BEST and to the WORST of us.

Here are some example of how to detect when someone is “Pinocchionizing” you:

If you’re on a date with a guy who just can’t stop talking about how much he makes, how much he has and how much he spends, and when the bill comes you end up going DUTCH, then he’s a broke schlong. The wealthy never talk about money or brag about it.

If your friend can’t stop talking about her perfect marriage and her perfect kids, then she’s incorporating a bunch of fantasies with her reality. Just think of her as the  the LLC (Lotsa Lies Chick) and let her keep on keeping on with her fantasies. In crazy chick world … perfection is a big time LIE.

When you see that 2000 calorie dessert and say to yourself “I’ll eat it now and exercise it off later,” then you need a reality check. Chances are that all that sugar will go to your hips and thighs while you’re on the couch flirting with the clicker or in bed by yourself in a snoozefest. How do I know? Personal experience of course … it’s the sugar high on the scale affliction. You can lie to yourself, but the numbers on the scale never do.

If your boss from hell tells you that it’s a bonus for you to lead from behind, all that means is that he will steal your ideas and get a promotion while you continue to haul ass for another boss from hell. That boss is what I call an FLFM “Fake and Lazy Front Man.”

If a chick constantly “boo hoos” about how much she’s been victimized by men and she manipulates you into giving her a pity party, chances are that she’s an attention hound and the only way she knows how to get it is by playing the victim card. She’s a  PMSS CHICK (Pity My Sob Story Chick).

If your current object of affection constantly praises you and makes you promises of gold, keep a deaf ear and a sharp eye. Words are cheap; action is priceless. He’s what I call a FSTS “Fake Silver Tongued Schlong.” Observe what he does and what he says. And if he continues with his fake promises, then give him one of your own; promise him that if his words don’t match his actions then your cast iron pan will meet his schlong with a good whack. Schlong pancake anyone?

Here’s a song for all of the liars out there and for the believers of lies:

Get the CCC Badge

Join the Crazy Chicks Club

Join the Crazy Freaks Club

Join the B.A.D Club

© 2011 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

23 Responses to Lies, lies, lies …

  1. Sabina Brave says:

    Good one. :) I also prefer action. Words are nothing more, than words. And yeah, I’ve never met wealthy person talking all arround about their wealth. When somebody talks about it, mostly it’s nothing more, than wishful thinking of some really poor person.
    I met some fraud from Nigeria, who played rich American. But he was like he imagined “fat & rich American man”. For me it was silly. There are many like him on virtual. Some cheat for money, some to get some attention or feeling. But both kinds are ordinary frauds for me. To build something real, we have to be real.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      True Sabina :) Glad you liked the post.

  2. Glad to see your humor again. This was good.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thank you Carl. You’re just awesome :)

  3. magsx2 says:

    Hi,
    Great post, I love the way you have written about liars, I had a smile about the sugar so very true. :D

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I had a feeling some chick (s) would identify with that one. Thanks Mags :)

  4. silly_G says:

    Holy! I forgot the Thompson Twins existed!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      So did I until I wrote this post! Brings back memories …

  5. Patti Kuche says:

    You have been away too long!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I know … I need to make up for lost time. I’ve already got my next post lined up :) Thanks for visiting me Patti :) you make me feel really appreciated …

  6. Ankur Mithal says:

    Agree with your observations. You could be on the way to developing a new Web language, what with PMSS and FSTS et al. BFN and LOL is passe!!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      It’s “CCL” Crazy Chick Language :)

  7. unknownmami says:

    I know a woman that talks about how much money she has all the time and I seem to be one of the few that doesn’t believe her.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Ah … don’t people know that boasting about one’s pocketbook is a sure fire way to get hit up for a loan that will probably not get paid back ….

  8. God, I have missed you! Your blog, your crazy chicks, our convos! Hope you are well La Femme! And hope you aren’t dealing with any of those mentioned! VERY well stated and to the point piece! Can’t wait to see more!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Aw….. I’m so touched and honored that I”m missed. But I am back and I’m posting something about “men” today. So, stay tuned :)

  9. PD Williams says:

    There was a time when I spent the first week after tax season in a work-induced coma. Catching up on your posts is interfering with my beauty sleep. Oh well, a few more wrinkles’ll just add character. Thanks!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Consider the wrinkles beauty maps … ooohhh you just gave me an idea for a post!!!!!!!!

  10. RC says:

    Oh how I’ve missed you and your schlong-i-ness. :D

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I’m back. I really had bloggers block for a while …. oh that’s a new acronym I need to add to my list. :)

      • RC says:

        :)

  11. Schlong…my newest about-to-be-overused fav word :)
    The promises, the promises, the promises! FSTS’s indeed!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Hi LadyBird,

      Thanks for vising my blog … and schlong is my fav dude word as well. I just love the way the “s” and “g” roll in my mouth :)

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