A Crazy Chick’s Version of a Perfect World

In my perfect world:

the more you eat the less you’ll weigh

the drive-thru lane always gets your order right

there are no cosmetic surgeons because wrinkles don’t exist

children are happy, loved, nurtured and educated

soldiers will carry tambourines and daisies instead of guns and bombs

politicians will think about the people instead of the next election

I can have an orgasm just by thinking about it and it will last for as long as I want it to …

Lady Gaga looks human and not like an alien

there will be no dead beat dads

there are no death and taxes

everyone can do cartwheels

it will be confirmed that Marilyn Manson is a hermaphrodite

everyone is beautiful in their own special way

everyone can afford designer shoes and handbags

guys who cheat will never get an erection ever again … ever … ever … NEVER

dishes wash themselves

poop doesn’t stink

brussel sprouts will taste like bon bons

cell phones will automatically shut themselves off in a movie theater

tweens will read more and text less

cars won’t start when a drunk is behind the wheel

there is more leg room when flying coach

all public toilets are immaculately clean

chocolate is calorie free

men and women will finally truly understand each other

all liars will lose their tongue

no one will ever get constipated

there is no injustice, but there is poetic justice

Cancer will only be an astrological sign and not a disease

people who stick their foot in their mouth will actually know what toe jam tastes like

eating cakes and pies will be as healthy as eating a salad

every office slave gets a two-hour lunch break

there is no such thing as rush hour traffic

no knows about the Kardashians

The Beatles are back together again

we know who killed JFK

all my blog friends will get Freshly Pressed

… and even if these things don’t happen It’s Still a Wonderful World … here’s a little Joey Ramone for all you peeps out there who believe in looking at the bright side of life …

What’s your idea of a perfect world?

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

21 Responses to A Crazy Chick’s Version of a Perfect World

  1. Aurora HSP says:

    I vote you for president! lol :)

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Next election I’ll make sure to run on a Crazy Chick platform! “Laughing at the malfunction is better than crying about it.” :) Always love your presence in my blog Aurora :)

      • Aurora HSP says:

        ty :)

  2. TRIPLE SNAP!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thank you :)

  3. Anything’s possible. Except the politicians one.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      lol Carl! Oh you are a wise one :)

  4. Sounds like heaven..on earth.. :-) donuts.. donuts- but that;s the only thing I would add… lots of them.. so I am going to or tried to – will – wanted to.. all of th above share this but I am having issues with forgetting my passwords.. new puter and it wants me to sign into everything… just saying cause I really wanted to and once I remember what I forgot I will … ::-)

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Aw thanks Lizzie! At the moment I’m really into vegan chocolate cupcakes. I made over a dozen then froze them!!!!! I can have a semi-guilt free treat come Halloween. It will help me stay off those damn Snickers bars …

      • oh snickers.. yes I have a weakness for those.. and milky ways and whoppers and … I have a horrific sweet tooth (like you didn;t pick up on the ;-) )

        Is vegan – like vegatable oil and what do you use in the place of eggs? its nothing from animal products right? I wish I knew how to make those cake pops from Startbucks tht are so ooey and gooey inside – i thought of them when you said vegan chocolate cupcakes..is that weird?

        • Lafemmeroar says:

          I”m not 100% vegan, but I don’t eat eggs or dairy anymore. I’ll still chew on an occasional chicken leg but that’s about it. No turkey butt for me this year though.

          Vegan is someone who doesn’t eat anything that’s walked, crawled, swam or flown. Some don’t even do “leather”. I’ve never had the cake pops from Starbucks … I don’t even think I’ve seen it. But there is a standard recipe for vegan chocolate cupcakes online so I used that but changed it around a bit I use a secret ingredient in mine :)

  5. Perfect? Meh. I find that the really juicy stuff of life is in our imperfections. Yeah, some things are annoying, but, oh, when those things stop–bliss! And the only way to feel that bliss is to have the annoyance in the first place.

    I know this is probably WAY TOO serious a response for this funny post, but that’s what came to this Crazy Chick’s mind… :)

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      You are a “free-thinking crazy chick” all is good on my end. Say what’s on your mind … that’s what this site is all about! :)

  6. I LOVE love love your world!

    Except for the Lady Gaga thing. I kinda dig her. Xxx

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Glad you liked the post Kim! I’ll give you Lady Gaga … diff strokes for diff Crazy Chicks … more power to Lady Gaga just for you Kim :)

  7. Great minds think alike. We must be crazy chicks too, because your world pretty much rocks our socks off! If we could only add one more thing: Reality shows are officially banned from television.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Inion … I’d like to invite you to the Crazy Chicks Club. Just leave a comment on the page http://lafemmeroar.wordpress.com/crazy-chicks-club-ccc/crazy-chicks-members/ to make if official :)

  8. Well done. Love you list.

    I woul like to add, no more name combo’s like Brajelina and the Kardashians become the first family to live on Mars.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Ditto Selena! Especially the Kardashian one :)

  9. Great Post! I would love to imagine soldiers as wandering minstrels of good tidings, and also I would like a pill to help me forget the Kardashians.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Oh those are good ones Vicious!!!! You are truly a Crazy Chick!

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