Online Dating Misadventures Part 1
November 24, 2012 8 Comments
Years ago I subscribed to an online dating site called e-Harmony. I answered their lengthy questionnaire and I received two matches of men whose profiles depicted them to be bitter and angry about the world and relationships. Did my matches from eHarmony want a woman or a punching bag? Was it me? Did my responses (oh I don’t know) suggest that I’m a good match for such men? Did I not have what other (sane, un-angry) men were looking for?
These questions plagued my mind before I concluded that it was not me but e-Harmony’s 29 Dimensions of Compatibility that was contradictory with my required “crazy chick 69 dimensions of compatibility.” I ended my subscription–perhaps prematurely. And as I watched eHarmony commercials of happy couples I thought that had I not ended my subscription I could be smiling and hugging my man while we danced to “This Will Be” by Natalie Cole.
Then, my friend told me about another dating site called True.com. The site performed “Criminal Screenings for Felonies” and “Single Certification.” In other words, True.com checks to make sure that your date wasn’t some prison inmate’s married love-buddy. That didn’t sound very attractive to me. It’s like testing a yummy piece of cake for poison before eating it. I’m not that cynical. I believe in humanity. And the idea of background checks seemed pragmatic, but very unromantic. My friend did go on a bunch of dates with some “True guys” and two of them turned out to be married and one had a criminal record. She found out by doing her “own” background check. I told her she should have asked True for a refund.
A 2010 article from the American Sociological Association claimed that people with internet access have a greater chance of finding relationships in comparison to people who didn’t have internet access. The influx of dating and social networking sites make it easier and faster for people to connect. Instead of singles bars there are singles sites. You can get to know your potential date digitally before you meet him in the flesh. But this is exactly what I did with eHarmony and I got nothing but “two angry men.” Were my chances better in 2011 to find true love? Could eHarmony have improved their mad math skills in computing love matches?
I needed to re-immerse myself in the digital dating world. Maybe I need to scour pictures of available men online instead of reading articles from “The New Yorker.” Maybe I need to chunk some dough into another dating site instead of spending my money shoe shopping at Nordstroms.com.
I wanted to chat face to face instead of messaging. I wanted to laugh and not type lol, lmao or brb (when I needed a bathroom break). My enthusiasm got ahead of me. I needed to take a step back. I’d get to know the
schlongs men first online, then on to phase two with the flesh and bone meet and greet. Then I thought there are plenty of other dating sites out there that are possibly better than eHarmony or True.com. So, I spent the last two weeks registering on various online dating sites.