Signs that you grew up in a dysfunctional home

Hello Dear Readers,

We’re all a little crazy because many of us grew up in less than stellar homes. So, I thought I’d make this list for you. If you answer yes to at least five things on this list, then you belong to that oh so special group of people who survived the hell that was their childhood.

  1. When you asked for permission, your father said “go ask your mother” and when you did she said “go ask your father.” And when you asked them together, they whacked you on the head for bothering them.

  2. Alcohol was a staple item at mealtimes like dinner rolls.

  3. Your parents spiked their coffee.

  4. Your parents spiked your milk bottle.

  5. You learned how to lie at a very young age–beats a beating!

  6. When other kids drew sunshine and flowers next to their parents, you drew skull and bones.

  7. You call your boyfriend “Big Daddy.”

  8. Your parents told you the world is shit and you took it literally until you realized it was a metaphor.

  9. You thought “boundaries” meant locking yourself in a room to fantasize about an “alternate reality.”

  10. You thought all mothers ran around the house screaming what her life would have been like if she never met your father.

  11. You thought “Bitch” meant “Mom.”

  12. And “Motherf&#*%#” meant “Dad.”

  13. You constantly heard your parents scream Amen and Hallelujah during the evening news.

  14. Holidays were a time for cops knocking at your door.

  15. Your father uttered your mother’s named when he hacked into the Thanksgiving turkey.

  16. Your mother did all the talking while your father read the papers upside down.

  17. Your mother dressed you in girls’ clothes–you were a boy.

  18. Your father told you to be a man — you were a girl.

  19. You grew up questioning your gender.  

  20. You thought the book “Less Than Zero” was about you!

  21. On Halloween, your parents passed out miniature bibles instead of candy.

  22. They thought Michael Buble was “cutting edge.”

And the biggest sign that you grew up in a dysfunctional home…

You thought you grew up normal!

I grew up in the most normal of households and look at me now!!!! :)

Your turn to share … :)

Love and Best Wishes,

Lafemmeroar

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© 2014 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

32 Responses to Signs that you grew up in a dysfunctional home

  1. renxkyoko says:

    Just # 16. I guess.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      LOLOL Ren … me too, but I seem to remember my dad just staring at the wall… or the t.v…..

  2. So when do you list the dysfunctional parts? Just kidding!! I always liked, when my dad said,
    “Do as I say not as I do” or “I brought you into this world, I can take you out.” “you want a reason to cry? I’ll give you one.” Or you got a spanking and were told “that was for nothing, now do something.”
    By my observations, a person who grew up in a dysfunctional family can see the humor in almost anything and being able to laugh at life is what gets them by.
    I only know of 3 families that truly were normal functioning families, but then that would make them abnormal.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Your response = exactly what I’d like to see in the comments :) I know that readers will have far more “dysfunctional” examples … luv ya crazy chick!

  3. I qualify with ease sadly. Still I’m not alone and in the words of the song “Things can only get better”. Very nice to see you re appearing in Blogland again

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Yes, Peter. I’m back …. I love blogging even though I tend to disappear sometimes. The friends I’ve made “here” have just been wonderful. Blogging is the best thing I ever did. And I won’t stop…

  4. She’s back & better than eva!!! Lovin’ this Lafemme & can go down the list quite comfortably and mark a whole lot more than five! I used to tell my two: Inion & her brother Vince…homelife is a childs bootcamp. Training you & making you tough for the real war. Life! Least it was in my house growing up. My family was so dysfunctional I would have felt off in normalcy, ha! lmao. Sharing this now our friend and can’t wait to send Inion over & tell her, her girl is back!! ;)

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Hi Mathair!!!!! I love the way your “roar” in your comments. You are a true Crazy Chick….

  5. Rockin’ good! Unfortunately, I qualify…

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      You are not alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Bodhirose says:

    I qualify too. And when I was growing up and envying my best friends’ their “normal” upbringing, found out later that there were serious issues in those homes too. I wonder now if anyone escapes a dysfunctional household. Nice to see you Laf! I disappear too now and then…no apologies…I need my breaks apparently. :) xoxo

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Life is interesting because of “malfunctions.” Thanks Gayle ….we all need our breaks… :)

  7. bethteliho says:

    She’s baaaaaack!! WOOP! Hi crazy chick! While I can’t say “yes” to many of these, I think I could add quite a few of my own and jump right in the dysfunctional family tribe! Oh if you only knew….haha. Let’s just say I was alone a lot….as in unsupervised, and that got me in a shit-ton of trouble! When my mom would bust me for something, she’d call my dad (they were divorced) and put me on the phone with him, and he’d make jokes about her – LOL. I would laugh at his snide comments and my mom would get pissed that my dad wasn’t taking her side. She’d grab the phone and start cussing him out. Ahhhhh, the teen years.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Hi Beth…how is my awesome crazy chick :) Your parents sound like my parents hehehehe only he joked in front of her face ’cause they’re still together … lmao…..You can actually write a story about your comment … too funny!

  8. Lots of giggles – it all sounds so normal!…except the Halloween….some kids got dragged to church instead of trick or treating…they nagged the schools into celebrating “harvest” rather than Halloween…gotta spoil a good thing…only time we got candy.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      lolol…no treats the rest of the year? Bummer …. definitely dysfunctional….lol

  9. F.Elizabeth says:

    hahaha Great article! How are none of mine on this list?

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Hi there :) Leave your list of dysfunctions in your comments. I know my readers would love to see them :) hehehe

      • F.Elizabeth says:

        Ok, let’s see… Here’s some additions: The days your schizophrenic father “the prophet,” would come home and tell you about his conversation with God and then tell you how fat you are, and spend the rest of the day looking at college girl porn… Your father banned alcohol from the house because his parents were abusive alcoholics yet learned how to be scary without it… If your gay sibling was kicked out of the house “for sinning.” I didn’t see any of those? lol. Man, sometimes you just have to laugh about it all.

        • Lafemmeroar says:

          And now I will post our comment so my readers can share the hilarity! Thanks crazy chick :)

  10. Eric says:

    You know you grew up in a dysfunctional family if:

    You thought, until age five, that your first name was “Damn!” and your brother’s was “Hell!”

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Oh good one!!!!!! Eric … I always love it when you visit my blog :)

  11. Kate O'Mara says:

    Funny!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thanks Kate :)

  12. Patti Kuche says:

    I kept waiting for my parents to sit me down and have the talk, about how I was adopted . . .

    A fantastic list LFR and great to see you back! Also loving the different comments – we could play Dysfunction Bingo!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Oh Patti, that would be fun. I just saw an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine where they played Boyle bingo …I love that show.

  13. Off the chain funny! Great blog!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thank you. I love waking up to comments that say “great blog” … :)

  14. Dang, not even going there. Thankfully those that created the dysfunction didn’t write the book.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      lol Valentine … nice to see you again :)

  15. I guess I belong to the minority. I grew up with loving parents who never beat me or insulted me or demanded the impossible of me. The only problem was that I thought everyone always told the truth, that people meant what they said and kept their promises, so it was a shock when I entered the adult world to find that this was only a fairy tale. I could have done with a little more advice rather than have them think I always knew what I was doing as a teenager.
    Oh, yes, great blog! It really makes one take a look at the relationship with parents.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      You are a lucky one! It’s good to grow up with love … it might shed us from the ugly truth but we learn all that as we “live” …. thank you for visiting and commenting

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