Haunted by Past Relationships

My track record in relationships hasn’t been stellar.

The ghost of Christmas Past woke me up one night

to haunt me about the way I treated my ex-boyfriends.

I guess he wanted me to see the error of my ways.

1_dumpingchristmastrash

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How Santa Can Make Christmas Suck

Every year I wish that Santa will give me something really good for Christmas. After all … I try to be good (in my own way) all year long and I should be rewarded for my deeds …shouldn’t I????

What do you think Crazy Chicks?

1_christmas

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Christmas Gifts Santa Won’t Give …

I know … it’s a little early to think about

Christmas Consumerism, but what the hell!

This is one gift Santa won’t be giving out this holiday season.

What do you want for Christmas?

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

How to Diet on Thanksgiving

Argue with that relative you hate!

The anger and stress will have you reaching for the booze instead of the Read more of this post

A Companion for Christmas

Girl and Dog

What do you want for Christmas?

Get the CCC Badge

Join the Crazy Chicks Club

Join the Crazy Freaks Club

Join the B.A.D Club

© 2011 Lafemmeroar

Why Santa Went to Jail

Maybe I wasn’t the best aunt … ’cause I used to

sing this song to my nieces and nephews.

Click on the video and SING the post out loud

after 5 seconds (Trust me :) ) Read more of this post

Health, Excess and Holiday Stress

Thanksgiving took a toll on my body. I ate and drank as if it were the last day on earth.When I woke up Friday I found a note on my pillow.

***

Dear Lafemme,

By Tibor Végh (Tenerife 2010 124.JPG) [CC-BY-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

After months of eating healthy you finally cleansed your body of the toxins you’ve been polluting it with for most of your life. And in one day you ruined all that hard work by opening your pie hole to all that fatty food loaded with butter, eggs and who knows what else. To top it off, you imbibed so much booze that you were barely able to walk straight at the end of the night. What kind of way is that to treat your inner organs? Do you want to end up looking like a crazy chick version of this whale man on the beach?

Have you no shame? Read more of this post

How to Diet on Thanksgiving

Argue with that relative you hate!

The anger and stress will have you reaching for the booze instead of the Read more of this post

My letter from Santa!

When I was just a wee kid who looked up to people because I was too short to look at them straight in the face, I believed in Santa Claus. I wrote him a wish list every year and I mailed it to the North Pole. I asked for big-ticket items like a bike, a phonograph (I’m dating myself here), a tape recorder (I thought I wanted to be a reporter but I really just wanted to use the device to snoop on people) and such.

Every year Santa always got it wrong.  When I asked for a pink bike I got a puke orange bike with no basket, but he did include a little honker. I knew that Santa wasn’t perfect but he always came close. One year I asked for a Baby Alive, a doll  that ate, drank, pooped and peed.

Imagine my surprise when I received a letter back from Santa:

Wikimedia Commons – Patrick Lentz from Boston, USA

Dear Petit Lafemme, Read more of this post

Christmas Gift Ideas for People You Don’t Like

Tis the season to buy gifts for other people … and if you just have to give a gift to someone you don’t LIKE, then here are some practical and economizing ideas that won’t bankrupt your wallet and it just might give you an orgasmic feeling …

For the person who just won’t shut up …

DUCT TAPE … let’s see ‘em mouth off now …

Wikimedia Commons – Ktttest

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