December 24, 2012 24 Comments
November 25, 2012 35 Comments
Thanksgiving took a toll on my body. I ate and drank as if it were the last day on earth.When I woke up Friday I found a note on my pillow.
Dear Lafemme,After months of eating healthy you finally cleansed your body of the toxins you’ve been polluting it with for most of your life. And in one day you ruined all that hard work by opening your pie hole to all that fatty food loaded with butter, eggs and who knows what else. To top it off, you imbibed so much booze that you were barely able to walk straight at the end of the night. What kind of way is that to treat your inner organs? Do you want to end up looking like a crazy chick version of this
Have you no shame? Read more of this post
December 24, 2011 53 Comments
When I was just a wee kid who looked up to people because I was too short to look at them straight in the face, I believed in Santa Claus. I wrote him a wish list every year and I mailed it to the North Pole. I asked for big-ticket items like a bike, a phonograph (I’m dating myself here), a tape recorder (I thought I wanted to be a reporter but I really just wanted to use the device to snoop on people) and such.
Every year Santa always got it wrong. When I asked for a pink bike I got a puke orange bike with no basket, but he did include a little honker. I knew that Santa wasn’t perfect but he always came close. One year I asked for a Baby Alive, a doll that ate, drank, pooped and peed.
Imagine my surprise when I received a letter back from Santa:
Dear Petit Lafemme, Read more of this post
December 15, 2011 74 Comments
Tis the season to buy gifts for other people … and if you just have to give a gift to someone you don’t LIKE, then here are some practical and economizing ideas that won’t bankrupt your wallet and it just might give you an orgasmic feeling …
For the person who just won’t shut up …
DUCT TAPE … let’s see ‘em mouth off now …
November 29, 2011 73 Comments
In today’s economizing times you need to keep your money in the bank. But Christmas isn’t conducive to tightening your purse strings. So, here are a few tips on ways to avoid spending on others without looking like a tightwad: Read more of this post