December 11, 2013 8 Comments
August 11, 2013 10 Comments
Great inventions from great minds:
Popsicle: In 1905 Frank Epperson left his soft drink with a stirring stick inside it out in the cold and the next day voilà the “Eppsicle” now known as a popsicle was created.
**What do you get when you leave a horny dude out in the cold all night long? A Read more of this post
August 8, 2013 17 Comments
My raging appetite is like a randy man-whore constantly out on the prowl for his next piece of bootie.
Excess is never good, which is why I’ve tried to tame my lust for food with simple self-control. If I want cheesecake, I eat a slice instead of two. If I want ice cream, I have a scoop instead of three. If I’m craving pasta, I have one serving instead of several. My onsies food strategy worked and I looked svelte without the SPANX. Read more of this post
February 23, 2013 33 Comments
One of my first posts on WordPress when I still ate ice cream …
Ever been called a bitch and felt insulted?
I just got home from the grocery store where I was “debating” with an obstinate cashier over the price of Haagen Dazs Coffee ice cream. I told him that it was two for five dollars and he claimed that it wasn’t. So the cashier sent the bagger to do a price check. While we were waiting, the man behind me insisted that I should let him go ahead of me in line since he only had one item, a big bottle of Jim Beam. His breath stank of alcohol and he smelled beyond ripe. Read more of this post
November 25, 2012 35 Comments
Thanksgiving took a toll on my body. I ate and drank as if it were the last day on earth.When I woke up Friday I found a note on my pillow.
Dear Lafemme,After months of eating healthy you finally cleansed your body of the toxins you’ve been polluting it with for most of your life. And in one day you ruined all that hard work by opening your pie hole to all that fatty food loaded with butter, eggs and who knows what else. To top it off, you imbibed so much booze that you were barely able to walk straight at the end of the night. What kind of way is that to treat your inner organs? Do you want to end up looking like a crazy chick version of this
Have you no shame? Read more of this post