Medical terms you won’t find on WebMD

April 8, 2013 14 Comments

An old post for my new readers … Enjoy

Jerkteria: A micro-organism extremely attracted to cells with low-self esteem.

Venereal Idiocy: A lapse in judgement usually due to extreme horniness.

Superficialism: The addiction to surgical procedures that reverse the sign of aging on the outside without reversing the rot on the inside.

Couchanism: One who is addicted to therapy even though they are beyond treatment.

Bedbugging: The constant poking of the person sleeping next to you to see if they’re awake.

SARS (Singles Addicted to Romantic Silliness): Single chicks who are unable to comprehend that in reality knights in shinning armor are full of rust.

ABC (Alternative Birth Control): The act of simultaneous masturbation Read more of this post

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Funny Word Game–Let’s Play Scattergories

March 28, 2013 12 Comments

Another Oldie and hopefully a goodie:

Answer the following by using the first letter of your first name: Lafemmeroar

A Song Title: Lady Marmalade by Labelle (Listen while you read the post

A Color: Lavender

A Place: Ladidaville (A place for people who are brain-dead.)

A Store: Liver Killer Mart (a chain of liquor stores)

A Street Name: Lost in Love Blvd. (Located on the Vegas strip next to the Chapel of Drunken I Dos)

A Famous Female Celebrity: Lucy Lawless

A Famous Male Celebrity: Luke Skywalker (A-Lister from a galaxy far far away)

A Band Name: Leonard Skin Nerd … oops …Can you guess the band?

A Drink: Lavalixer (1 part Read more of this post

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The True Meaning of Words in the Dictionary

February 19, 2013 22 Comments

Wikimedia Commons

I was at the used book store the other day when I came upon a book titled:

“The True Meaning of Words.”

People with corks up their butts have banned this book for decades, but I got my hands on it now and I’m sharing these super-fabulous words with you my dear readers. So here are some of my favorites:

Backbone: A schlong up the butt

Upbeat: A man who masturbates standing up

Brainchild: A 40-year-old man who acts like a kid

Creepologist: A professional creep

Male Enhancement: A man in touch with his feminine side!

Tadpole: A little wee schlong

Technical Virgin: A chick who’s been poked on every orifice except “one“ Read more of this post

Filed under humor Tagged with banned words, crosswords, definitions, dictionary, funny, funny words, humor, linguistics, new words, sex, sexual, word, word games, wordplay, words

I love the bad boys …

February 11, 2013 28 Comments

He makes you feel squishy and gooey in all the right places. He’s tough, he’s dangerous and he’s hot. Bad boys make our blood boil and quiver our delicate loins. We know they’re not good for us, but why do we find them so damn irresistible?

He wasn’t very tall and he had funny looking ears, but the way Clark Gable swept Vivien Leigh up those stairs in “Gone with the Wind” makes my heart go pitter patter and other lady parts as well. Read more of this post

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I Don’t Need a Man

February 9, 2013 43 Comments

I was talking to my friend the other day and I mentioned that I’d been in a rather moody mood. When was the last time you got any he asked. Any what? (I was playing dumb) You know … sex … he said. Oh that …Well that’s kind of a tricky question I said. That means no he said and added that’s because you’re a dragon lady.

I couldn’t argue with him on that one … it’s not the first time I’ve been called a “fire breather.” Read more of this post

Filed under crazy chick, humor, Relationships, Single Tagged with break up, break ups, date, dating, funny, heartbreak, humor, life, lifestyle, love, man, marriage, men, relationships, romance, romantic, sarcasm, satire, sex, sex toys, single, single sex

The Horny Pooch and My Wardrobe Malfunction

February 9, 2013 22 Comments

It’s not exactly skirt and sandal season, but I was going through some old posts and realized that this is a perfect example of a crazy chick moment when laughing at the malfunction of the universe is absolutely better than crying about it. Enjoy!

The hot weather prompted me to digress from wearing pants to wearing a skirt and a blouse. Since I’m rather “full” on top I used a safety pin to close the peek-a-boo see my bra gap. I was all intact and ready to Read more of this post