March 23, 2014 10 Comments
August 8, 2013 17 Comments
My raging appetite is like a randy man-whore constantly out on the prowl for his next piece of bootie.
Excess is never good, which is why I’ve tried to tame my lust for food with simple self-control. If I want cheesecake, I eat a slice instead of two. If I want ice cream, I have a scoop instead of three. If I’m craving pasta, I have one serving instead of several. My onsies food strategy worked and I looked svelte without the SPANX. Read more of this post
April 8, 2013 21 Comments
An old post for my new readers … Enjoy :)
Jerkteria: A micro-organism extremely attracted to cells with low-self esteem.
Venereal Idiocy: A lapse in judgement usually due to extreme horniness.
Superficialism: The addiction to surgical procedures that reverse the sign of aging on the outside without reversing the rot on the inside.
Couchanism: One who is addicted to therapy even though they are beyond treatment.
Bedbugging: The constant poking of the person sleeping next to you to see if they’re awake.
SARS (Singles Addicted to Romantic Silliness): Single chicks who are unable to comprehend that in reality knights in shinning armor are full of rust.
ABC (Alternative Birth Control): The act of simultaneous masturbation Read more of this post
March 10, 2013 24 Comments
This one is an oldie, but still a goodie for a laugh … even if it’s at my own stinky expense!
When I can talk myself into it, I put on my iPod and blast Springsteen and Tom Petty for the next two and a half miles while I speed walk on the horse trail in my neighborhood. I’ve never seen any horses, only people and pet owners who think the trail is a lavatory for their pets. About a mile and a half into my walk, I saw a big clump of poop and I side-stepped to avoid it. I twisted my ankle on a small hole in the ground and I fell face first. My face missed the other turd ahead but my hands landed splat on them. Read more of this post
February 27, 2013 44 Comments