Crazy Chick Cafe #3: The Purge

Hello Readers,

Thought I’d share more of my insanity with you. But before you go on I’d just like to remind you that should any of you try what I did, do so at the risk of your victim. Lafemmeroar should not be blamed, sued, or held responsible in the event that such risky tactics (albeit effective) may result in the idea that it’s okay to abuse food in such a cavalier way. Enjoy …

1_The Purge

Read more of this post

Crazy Chick Cafe #3: The Purge

Hello Readers,

Thought I’d share more of my insanity with you. But before you go on I’d just like to remind you that should any of you try what I did, do so at the risk of your victim. Lafemmeroar should not be blamed, sued, or held responsible in the event that such risky tactics (albeit effective) may result in the idea that it’s okay to abuse food in such a cavalier way. Enjoy …

1_The Purge

Read more of this post

Men Always Say This

Hi there readers. I’m back to share more of my noodle’s twistedness. Enjoy :)

Dentist 1

Screen Shot 2013-12-04 at 9.52.21 PM

Screen Shot 2013-12-04 at 9.52.29 PM

Screen Shot 2013-12-04 at 9.52.36 PM

What can I say? The dentist made me do it out of self-defense.

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© 2013 Lafemmeroar

How to Diet on Thanksgiving

Argue with that relative you hate!

The anger and stress will have you reaching for the booze instead of the Read more of this post

The Devil Made Me Eat It

My raging appetite is like a randy man-whore constantly out on the prowl for his next piece of bootie.

Excess is never good, which is why I’ve tried to tame my lust for food with simple self-control. If I want cheesecake, I eat a slice instead of two. If I want ice cream, I have a scoop instead of three. If I’m craving pasta, I have one serving instead of several. My onsies food strategy worked and I looked svelte without the SPANXRead more of this post

Looking at the Brighter Side of Life

Life can stink … but it all depends on your perspective.

Look at these folks …

Couple with baby

Sometimes we have no choice but to see

the potential in the absurd and dangerous …

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

Wet Dreams are Made of These …

Doctor and boy

What are your wet dreams?

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

Medical terms you won’t find on WebMD

An old post for my new readers … Enjoy :)

Jerkteria: A micro-organism extremely attracted to cells with low-self esteem.

Venereal Idiocy: A lapse in judgement usually due to extreme horniness.

Superficialism: The addiction to surgical procedures that reverse the sign of aging on the outside without reversing the rot on the inside.

Couchanism: One who is addicted to therapy even though they are beyond treatment.

Bedbugging: The constant poking of the person sleeping next to you to see if they’re awake.

SARS (Singles Addicted to Romantic Silliness): Single chicks who are unable to comprehend that in reality knights in shinning armor are full of rust.

ABC (Alternative Birth Control): The act of simultaneous masturbation Read more of this post

Pooper Scooper and the Hazards of Walking

This one is an oldie, but still a goodie for a laugh … even if it’s at my own stinky expense!

When I can talk myself into it, I put on my iPod and blast Springsteen and Tom Petty for the next two and a half miles while I speed walk on the horse trail in my neighborhood. I’ve never seen any horses, only people and pet owners who think the trail is a lavatory for their pets.  About a mile and a half into my walk, I saw a big clump of poop and I side-stepped to avoid it.  I twisted my ankle on a small hole in the ground and I fell face first. My face missed the other turd ahead but my hands landed splat on them. Read more of this post

Love, Betrayal and Venereal Disease over Cocktails

Screen Shot 2011-10-04 at 11.25.58 PMI had drinks with two friends from high school “E” and “N” the other day. After a round of drinks the talk as always, when three crazy chicks get together, got into relationships. Since my love life is as dry as the Sahara desert on a drought and “N‘s” been married forever, which is why she’s more interested in tech gadgets these days, the conversation turned to “E‘s” love life. Here’s the DL.

She dated this guy who gave her his email password so she can check on their hotel reservations for an upcoming vacation. First of all SCHLONGS never give a chick your password unless you REALLY have nothing to hide. Well … so what’s a girl to do with all access to her boyfriend’s email? Well …

“SNOOPYMAIL” of course” Read more of this post

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