December 11, 2013 2 Comments
August 8, 2013 17 Comments
My raging appetite is like a randy man-whore constantly out on the prowl for his next piece of bootie.
Excess is never good, which is why I’ve tried to tame my lust for food with simple self-control. If I want cheesecake, I eat a slice instead of two. If I want ice cream, I have a scoop instead of three. If I’m craving pasta, I have one serving instead of several. My onsies food strategy worked and I looked svelte without the SPANX. Read more of this post
April 8, 2013 21 Comments
An old post for my new readers … Enjoy
Jerkteria: A micro-organism extremely attracted to cells with low-self esteem.
Venereal Idiocy: A lapse in judgement usually due to extreme horniness.
Superficialism: The addiction to surgical procedures that reverse the sign of aging on the outside without reversing the rot on the inside.
Couchanism: One who is addicted to therapy even though they are beyond treatment.
Bedbugging: The constant poking of the person sleeping next to you to see if they’re awake.
SARS (Singles Addicted to Romantic Silliness): Single chicks who are unable to comprehend that in reality knights in shinning armor are full of rust.
ABC (Alternative Birth Control): The act of simultaneous masturbation Read more of this post
March 10, 2013 24 Comments
This one is an oldie, but still a goodie for a laugh … even if it’s at my own stinky expense!
When I can talk myself into it, I put on my iPod and blast Springsteen and Tom Petty for the next two and a half miles while I speed walk on the horse trail in my neighborhood. I’ve never seen any horses, only people and pet owners who think the trail is a lavatory for their pets. About a mile and a half into my walk, I saw a big clump of poop and I side-stepped to avoid it. I twisted my ankle on a small hole in the ground and I fell face first. My face missed the other turd ahead but my hands landed splat on them. Read more of this post
February 27, 2013 44 Comments
I had drinks with two friends from high school “E” and “N” the other day. After a round of drinks the talk as always, when three crazy chicks get together, got into relationships. Since my love life is as dry as the Sahara desert on a drought and “N‘s” been married forever, which is why she’s more interested in tech gadgets these days, the conversation turned to “E‘s” love life. Here’s the DL.
She dated this guy who gave her his email password so she can check on their hotel reservations for an upcoming vacation. First of all SCHLONGS never give a chick your password unless you REALLY have nothing to hide. Well … so what’s a girl to do with all access to her boyfriend’s email? Well …
“SNOOPYMAIL” of course” Read more of this post
December 22, 2012 47 Comments