Funny Word Game–Let’s Play Scattergories

Another Oldie and hopefully a goodie: 

Answer the following by using the first letter of your first name: Lafemmeroar

A Song Title: Lady Marmalade by Labelle (Listen while you read the post

A Color: Lavender

A Place: Ladidaville (A place for people who are brain-dead.)

A Store: Liver Killer Mart (a chain of liquor stores)

A Street Name: Lost in Love Blvd. (Located on the Vegas strip next to the Chapel of Drunken I Dos)

A Famous Female Celebrity: Lucy Lawless

A Famous Male Celebrity: Luke Skywalker  (A-Lister from a galaxy far far away)

A Band Name: Leonard Skin Nerd … oops …Can you guess the band?

A Drink: Lavalixer (1 part

You don’t have to be a star to deserve my love

An old post … but still fresh in my heart!

I often wonder when and where I’ll fall in love gain and with whom.

In retrospect, I’ve always fallen in love with smart men who made me laugh. Oh, they made me cry as well, (I wouldn’t be human if I’ve never cried over love) and I suspect that when I find my “true love,” the gamut of emotions I experience will include a few tears, but lots of laughter and joy.

He won’t be perfect, but he’ll be wonderful in my eyes. He won’t be a rocket scientist, but he’ll understand my complexities. He won’t be rich, but he’ll be full of sweetness and light. He won’t be famous, but I’ll know

Random Thoughts from a Crazy Chick

I trust the logic of my irrationality.

Sometimes I think that my dreams are true.

I still believe I’ll find “the one” even though I’ve been with a bunch of “no ones.”

Sometimes I eat dessert for breakfast.

If subversive thoughts were a crime, then I’d be serving a life sentence.

I want to throw garbage at reality stars walking the red carpet.

Crazy Chick Q & A #30

This week, meet Carrie — Lady with a Truck! 

Why am I a crazy chick?
I don’t know I can’t so I do things without thinking them through a lot of the time. Like I got a job once because the woman couldn’t believe I had the audacity to apply for a job I had no qualifications for. When I was about 12 I wanted to learn how to swim so I joined the swim team. I didn’t even know how to dog paddle and was in competitions; that didn’t work out so well. Besides the initials fit. When I had my place at Cultus Lake my dad had a wood sign carved Carrie’s Cultus Cabin, and then I opened a daycare in town on Carleton St. and it was Carrie’s Carleton Corner Daycare, its only fitting I should be a CCC. 

Crazy Chick Q & A #29

Hey Crazy Chicks … it’s been a while since we did one of these. I’m very happy to introduce you to Selena Robins Musing!  

Why are you a Crazy Chick?

Because sanity is boring, overrated, non-eclectic and it’s cool to wear my pink Crazy Chick badge on my blog.

Describe your blog in three words.

Disney for Adults.

What is the title of your favorite post? Why?

My first blog post titled: Newbie Blogger – “Please be gentle. The Blogging Goddess isn’t finished with me yet.”

How to Conduct a Relationship Exorcism

As a single, never been married Crazy Chick I am the self-proclaimed expert on relationship exorcisms. I have performed many and I’ve helped other chicks as well

You need a relationship exorcism when:

♦ you’ve become a zombie because his mind has taken over your whole being

♦ he’s turned from being your friend and lover to being your tormentor

♦ he thinks you’re a punching bag

♦ your credit card is maxed out from charges he made to P.O.R.N. (P@ssy Open and Ready Now)

Dating Tips for Men

A repost for my new readers and subscribers. Thank you all and I hope you keep coming back for more

In the past I’ve given many chicks tips on how to laugh at the chaos, but now is the time to write a post dedicated to all the men out there.

Here are some tips on how to get out of sticky situations when it comes to the opposite sex. 

Next time a chick you’ve had sex with comes up to you and you just can’t remember her name tell her that you suffer from “Namenesia” the inability to remember names. Tell them that constant physical intimacy is part of the cure and you’re looking for a volunteer.

When you’re out on a date and want to weasel out of the check, just tell your date that you have “Nomullah” disease, which is the condition of never having any money. A chick with a heart of gold would be more than happy to throw down some dough for your steak dinner.

If your girlfriend gives you an ultimatum about commitment, tell her that you have “RPS” (Relationship Palpitation Syndrome), a condition that gives you heart pains when you hear the words: commitment, relationship, monogamy, marriage, exclusivity and etc. The only cure for this ailment is patience and understanding on her part and lots of sex with other women and

Confessions of a Turkey

It’s Thanksgiving and turkeys are fearing for their lives again!

Before they’re roasted, deep fried, trussed and dressed these big birds make a pilgrimage to Fowlutopia, home of the St. Cluck Cathedral, a place where turkeys who want to go to Fowl Heaven will confess and be absolved of their sins.

Father Jack Turkey (FJT) who has been listening to turkey confessions is breaking his silence. What Father Jack Turkey knows about his own kind has been kept a secret from the human population but I’ve got the exclusive interview here:

Lafemme: You were recently involved in a scandal that caused your removal from St. Cluck. Can you tell us about that?

FJT: I was caught cross-species fornicating

Disadvantage of a Hybrid Cougar

An old post for my new readers. Enjoy!

Cheap booze poured from the bar like a broken fire hydrant on a summer’s day. Music boomed and thirsty patrons in this local watering hole laughed, drank and devoured happy hour tid bits.  So, there I was sitting at the bar enjoying a few laughs with a couple of friends when I saw a vision. I couldn’t take my eyes off the woman who came into the bar.

She looked like a cross between Angelyne (the Hollywood icon known for driving a Pink Cadillac)

Wikimedia Commons

and

Speaking my Mind

Self-expression is the choice between satisfying the stirrings of my emotional conscience and burning bridges. Good behavior makes me feel like a soloist in a symphony with an indifferent, but hostile audience. Play flawlessly and the audience is silent, but hit a wrong note and receive hisses and jeers.

I don’t want to be difficult, disagreeable or MEAN, but I can be. I don’t want to be different for the sake of being unique, such contrivances are pedestrian antics of a lost soul. I’m no longer lost, but I haven’t reached my destination either. But I am/can be different because we cannot ALL BE THE SAME. In my circle of reality, I am the lone femme–single, never married and childless. 

I am an oxymoron moving within the flow of life. I go unnoticed and then a malfunction