Kids are sweet when they lie

I asked my 12-year-old nephew if he will still let me kiss him and pinch his cheeks when he’s 30. He gave me a WTF look, but he nodded his head and said yes. What man, at the prime of life would want an old crazy chick pinching his cheeks in front of a “chickadee”? But he couldn’t hurt my feelings. Kids are so sweet when they lie …

In trying to get my niece and nephew to eat more vegetables, I gave them a tall glass of spinach and parsley smoothie. When I asked them if it was good, they both chimed in and said “it’s really good Auntie Lafemme” even though they both looked like they were about to HURL. But they Read more of this post

Being an Equal Opportunity Blogger

I needed to post this again for my new readers … :)

I was with my friend the other night and I showed her my blog. She cruised the site and said your blog seems biased against men. So I said it is? And she said yeah, and she read out loud some of my blog titles:

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Signs that you grew up in a dysfunctional home

Hello Dear Readers,

We’re all a little crazy because many of us grew up in less than stellar homes. So, I thought I’d make this list for you. If you answer yes to at least five things on this list, then you belong to that oh so special group of people who survived the hell that was their childhood.

  1. When you asked for permission, your father said “go ask your mother” and when you did she said “go ask your father.” And when you asked them together, they whacked you on the head for bothering them.

  2. Alcohol was a staple item at mealtimes like dinner rolls.

  3. Your parents spiked their coffee.

  4. Your parents spiked your milk bottle.

  5. You learned how to lie at a very young age–beats a beating!

  6. When other kids drew sunshine and flowers next to their parents, you drew skull and bones.

  7. You call your boyfriend “Big Daddy.”

  8. Your parents told you the world is shit and you took it literally until you realized it was a metaphor.

  9. You thought “boundaries” meant locking yourself in a room to fantasize about an “alternate reality.”

  10. You thought all mothers ran around the house screaming what her life would have been like if she never met your father.

  11. You thought “Bitch” meant “Mom.”

  12. And “Motherf&#*%#” meant “Dad.”

  13. Read more of this post

Real or Fake?

Technology has the power to alter our appearance. And we’ve all seen “those” addicted to “technology.” They look one way today and another the next … and we’re thinking “is that you?” Or you say to yourself “that alien looks awfully familiar.” But if someone wants to enhance their looks … I say MORE POWER TO YOU CHICK! We have the right to augment whatever we want for these modern times gives us the power to be and to look however we want to look. And if a smaller nose or bigger breasts can make us smile when we look in the mirror why not? Now, if some of you are wondering if “my girls” are au natural … the answer is I’m too poor and too much of a chicken to ever go under the knife. 

happy hour

Real or not … pink haired chick

is having lots more fun. 

Maybe these chicks need to dye their

hair pink as well?

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© 2013 Lafemmeroar

Men Always Say This

Hi there readers. I’m back to share more of my noodle’s twistedness. Enjoy :)

Dentist 1

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What can I say? The dentist made me do it out of self-defense.

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© 2013 Lafemmeroar

Christmas Gifts Santa Won’t Give …

I know … it’s a little early to think about

Christmas Consumerism, but what the hell!

This is one gift Santa won’t be giving out this holiday season.

What do you want for Christmas?

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

Cheap Halloween Costume Ideas

Are you going to a Halloween costume party?

If you’re low on cash, but you still want to WOW your friends with an awesome costume, then take inspiration from these atrocious high-fashion ensembles. 

If you’ve got a pair of black tights and a couple rolls of butcher paper, then you can go as a origami girl.

Origami Chick

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Having Fun with Someecards–Crazy Captions about Life

She might look calm, but think again!

What's in a Woman's Mind

Do you believe in equal rights for women? This one believes in “tit for tat.” Read more of this post

Thoughts about the World from a Crazy Chick

Screen shot 2011-06-28 at 1.06.10 PMAlthough I always say that laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it, I must admit that I just can’t laugh when my noodle twists and ponders about the mysteries of the world. That is until I was able to answer them with satisfaction:
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Married for the Wrong Reason

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Marriages can be “divorced”

but a gift with a receipt is returnable

and you can even get cash back… (sigh)

Did you get married for the right reason?

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

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