Shopping for a Man

A conversation with a friend about men gave me a new perspective about my single and never been wed-locked status.

BFF: We need to look for a man the way we shop for purses.

Lafemme: You mean find one on sale?

BFF: Yes. We need to find a good bargain but instead of looking for leather we need to look for good schlongs (she got that term from me).

The idea did make a lot of sense. After all I’m a great shopper. And if I were to apply my bargain shopping skills to schlong man shopping  I just might hit the jackpot! Is it possible? Could this be my year of finding “The Perfect Schlong” Mr. Right? After all ”Sale” doesn’t mean damaged:

Christmas Gift Ideas for People You Don’t Like

Tis the season to buy gifts for other people … and if you just have to give a gift to someone you don’t LIKE, then here are some practical and economizing ideas that won’t bankrupt your wallet and it just might give you an orgasmic feeling …

For the person who just won’t shut up …

DUCT TAPE … let’s see ‘em mouth off now …

Wikimedia Commons - Ktttest

Lafemmeroarism #12 — Sweet Cravings

When Sweet Cravings are Threatening Your Waistline.

How Sex Can Ruin You

Wikimedia Commons -originally posted to Flickr as Love in Wiesbaden-Jacob Appelbaum

We all want it. Even when we don’t have anyone to do it with we want it even more. Yes … SEX … that yearning … that itch that needs to be scratched.

That old adage that masturbation is sex with someone “I” love is true. I love me, but sometimes I want someone (that doesn’t require batteries) to “love” me. But I’m not the casual sex type even though my noodle has truly freaky sexy scenarios going on 24/7. But fantasy only goes so far. Even real vanilla sex is more scintillating than the imagined kind.

But I do have a problem.

Female Sexuality–The Mind and Body Discrepancy

My serious and most revealing post– in case you missed it. 

Wikimedia Commons/Kos

 

I’m a paradox. A reader recently commented on my inconsistent ramblings and his comment inspired me to explore my noodle. Since I am contradictory in so many ways I decided to ruminate on an interesting subject–SEX.

I have certain thought proclivities that I’ve never acted out, but they are constant in giving me a “happy ending.” I’ve never converged fantasy and reality, and I believe that this “mental constraint” is part of my incongruous nature.

So I did some research and found an interesting article from  Read more

Nominated for Best Humor Blog at Bloggers Choice Awards. Please vote

Join the Crazy Freaks Club.

Visit my fan page on Facebook.

© 2011 Lafemmeroar

Secrets about Turkeys Revealed

It’s that time of year when turkeys are served to carnivores who will stuff themselves to the point of needing a good nap.

Before they’re roasted, deep fried, trussed and dressed these big birds make a pilgrimage to the Fowl Capital of the World–Fowlutopia home of the St. Cluck Cathedral, a place where turkeys who want to go to Fowl Heaven will confess and be absolved of their sins.

Father Jack Turkey (FJT) who has been listening to turkey confessions is breaking his silence. What Father Jack Turkey knows about his own kind has been kept a secret from the human population but I’ve got the exclusive interview here:

Lafemme: You were recently involved in a scandal that caused your removal from St. Cluck. Can you tell us about that?

FJT: I was caught cross-species fornicating

Jesse James Relationship Outlaw or Medical Phenomenon?

Lafemmeroar here again with the latest crazy celebrity news and gossip that is just too juicy to be true:

Jesse James (JJ) cheated on America’s sweetheart Sandra Bullock and when she booted him to the curb, he went on to find love with tattoo queen Kat Von D, but that didn’t last either when she found out he’s been swinging his schlong to other “glorious holes.” A recent report by Schlong Swing Online states that JJ cheated on Kat with nineteen different women during their relationship. But JJ denies this and to prove his innocence, he submitted to a lie detector test and to everyone’s surprise JJ passed with flying colors. When asked how he pulled it off JJ stated, “I did not cheat on Kat. My schlong was true to her.”

Well folks JJ’s private physician Dr. Drew Penilehickey reveals that

My Most Popular Post

Dear Readers,

I recently took a look at my top posts and noticed that “Sex Addiction and Real Dolls” has had the most views, but not a lot of comments. So I’m sharing the article on this post so new readers can take a gander at what my noodle was thinking about last July. Let me know what you think.

Nominated for Best Humor Blog at Bloggers Choice Awards. Please vote

Get the CCC Badge

Join the Crazy Chicks Club.

© 2011 Lafemmeroar

A Crazy Chick’s Version of a Perfect World

In my perfect world:

the more you eat the less you’ll weigh

the drive-thru lane always gets your order right

there are no cosmetic surgeons because wrinkles don’t exist

children are happy, loved, nurtured and educated

soldiers will carry tambourines and daisies instead of guns and bombs

politicians will think about the people instead of the next election

I can have an orgasm just by thinking about it and it will last for as long as I want it to …

Lady Gaga looks human and not like an alien

Crazy Chicks Update: Poll Results

Okay Crazy Chicks. Time for another Crazy Chicks Club update.