Medical terms you won’t find on WebMD

An old post for my new readers … Enjoy :)

Jerkteria: A micro-organism extremely attracted to cells with low-self esteem.

Venereal Idiocy: A lapse in judgement usually due to extreme horniness.

Superficialism: The addiction to surgical procedures that reverse the sign of aging on the outside without reversing the rot on the inside.

Couchanism: One who is addicted to therapy even though they are beyond treatment.

Bedbugging: The constant poking of the person sleeping next to you to see if they’re awake.

SARS (Singles Addicted to Romantic Silliness): Single chicks who are unable to comprehend that in reality knights in shinning armor are full of rust.

ABC (Alternative Birth Control): The act of simultaneous masturbation Read more of this post

How I Defy Reality

When my birthday cake has so many candles that it borders on being a fire hazard, I just think it’s the 4th of July.

I have a carnival mirror that makes me look 10 pounds thinner.

When I watch politicians arguing on T.V., I just pretend I’m watching a sitcom.

I believe that heartbreak is a workout for your heart … it takes the lickin’ but Read more of this post

Crazy Chick vs. Normal Chick

Normal Chick: Do you think I’m fat?

Crazy Chick: No, but you need a new mirror, that one is a liar

♥♥♥

Normal Chick: I can’t live without him! Why did he leave me. My life is over …. boohoo, boohoo, boohoo …

Crazy Chick: Think of this as Read more of this post

Holiday Gift Ideas: Taser Gun for Parents

Imagine a cherubic face smiling at you or little feet running on a meadow of flowers. They’re always clean, they’re always smiling and playing with such delight.That’s what you see on post cards. This is Fantasy Kid.

There’s another type of child. The kind that cries, the kind with dirty hands and mouth … the kind with wet and stinky tushies.

This kid has pirated the single and free lifestyle. They won’t eat when they should, they wake up when they shouldn’t, and they break things. They can be unruly especially in public places.  This is the Real Kid

Read more of this post

Medical terms you won’t find on WebMD

Jerkteria: A micro-organism extremely attracted to cells with low-self esteem.

Venereal Idiocy: A lapse in judgement usually due to extreme horniness.

Superficialism: The addiction to surgical procedures that reverse the sign of aging on the outside without reversing the rot on the inside.

Couchanism: One who is addicted to therapy even though they are beyond treatment.

Bedbugging: The constant poking of the person sleeping next to you to see if they’re awake.

SARS (Singles Addicted to Romantic Silliness): Single chicks who are unable to comprehend that in reality knights in shinning armor are full of rust.

ABC (Alternative Birth Control): The act of simultaneous masturbation Read more of this post

Symptoms of Brain Damage

Wikimedia Commons

There are various ways to sustain a brain damage. Hitting the skull on a hard surface is how most people do it. Some just drink and drug it up to oblivion causing their noodle to go stir crazy while others simply go bonkers for no reason at all. This last example is the most life threatening because there is nothing more dangerous than having a damaged brain and still think you’re working with a full deck.  If things seem a bit askew to you lately, then you might be one of those unfortunates.  So as part of my good deed for the week I would like to list the various symptoms one can experience when their noodle turns into scrambled eggs.

You’ve got a warped noodle when you start showing the following symptoms: 

Ego issues: Your alter ego becomes a primary maniac.

Forgetfulness: You start forgetting things you don’t want to remember such as Valentine’s Day, your marital status, your exes birthday and your dental appointment.

You have difficulty processing information: You have a hard time comprehending what the heck that used condom was doing in your boyfriend’s bathroom when you hadn’t had sex in a month.   Read more of this post

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