Being an Equal Opportunity Blogger

I needed to post this again for my new readers … :)

I was with my friend the other night and I showed her my blog. She cruised the site and said your blog seems biased against men. So I said it is? And she said yeah, and she read out loud some of my blog titles:

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Signs that you grew up in a dysfunctional home

Hello Dear Readers,

We’re all a little crazy because many of us grew up in less than stellar homes. So, I thought I’d make this list for you. If you answer yes to at least five things on this list, then you belong to that oh so special group of people who survived the hell that was their childhood.

  1. When you asked for permission, your father said “go ask your mother” and when you did she said “go ask your father.” And when you asked them together, they whacked you on the head for bothering them.

  2. Alcohol was a staple item at mealtimes like dinner rolls.

  3. Your parents spiked their coffee.

  4. Your parents spiked your milk bottle.

  5. You learned how to lie at a very young age–beats a beating!

  6. When other kids drew sunshine and flowers next to their parents, you drew skull and bones.

  7. You call your boyfriend “Big Daddy.”

  8. Your parents told you the world is shit and you took it literally until you realized it was a metaphor.

  9. You thought “boundaries” meant locking yourself in a room to fantasize about an “alternate reality.”

  10. You thought all mothers ran around the house screaming what her life would have been like if she never met your father.

  11. You thought “Bitch” meant “Mom.”

  12. And “Motherf&#*%#” meant “Dad.”

  13. Read more of this post

Having Fun with Someecards–Crazy Captions about Life

She might look calm, but think again!

What's in a Woman's Mind

Do you believe in equal rights for women? This one believes in “tit for tat.” Read more of this post

Thoughts about the World from a Crazy Chick

Screen shot 2011-06-28 at 1.06.10 PMAlthough I always say that laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it, I must admit that I just can’t laugh when my noodle twists and ponders about the mysteries of the world. That is until I was able to answer them with satisfaction:
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Fighting for my right to make my own mistakes

In a world where words such as fairness and justice are open to interpretation I understand that such ideas can have varying meanings at varying degrees.

After all I think that earning a million dollars for merely waking up in the morning is “fair but it’s a pipe dream unless the value of a millions dollars downgrades to zilch.

It would be justice for anyone who has done me wrong to grow a third Read more of this post

The Devil Made Me Eat It

My raging appetite is like a randy man-whore constantly out on the prowl for his next piece of bootie.

Excess is never good, which is why I’ve tried to tame my lust for food with simple self-control. If I want cheesecake, I eat a slice instead of two. If I want ice cream, I have a scoop instead of three. If I’m craving pasta, I have one serving instead of several. My onsies food strategy worked and I looked svelte without the SPANXRead more of this post

Cosmic Significance of Chaotic Events

I believe in the cosmic significance of chaotic events. Our lives, a farce or tragedy scripted by irony, contain moments of joy and sorrow. Joy is meant to be and sorrow occurs upon the malfunction of the universe. When chaos strikes I dig deep into my free will and force a chuckle out of misery because I refuse to Read more of this post

Twisted Crossed Words and Coined Phrases

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog?

A catty bitch

What’s a crazy person who thinks they’re sane?

A logical loon

What do you do when you see a woman with PMS?

Hide

What do you call a bath in the land of King Midas? Read more of this post

Pooper Scooper and the Hazards of Walking

This one is an oldie, but still a goodie for a laugh … even if it’s at my own stinky expense!

When I can talk myself into it, I put on my iPod and blast Springsteen and Tom Petty for the next two and a half miles while I speed walk on the horse trail in my neighborhood. I’ve never seen any horses, only people and pet owners who think the trail is a lavatory for their pets.  About a mile and a half into my walk, I saw a big clump of poop and I side-stepped to avoid it.  I twisted my ankle on a small hole in the ground and I fell face first. My face missed the other turd ahead but my hands landed splat on them. Read more of this post

You don’t have to be a star to deserve my love

An old post … but still fresh in my heart!

I often wonder when and where I’ll fall in love gain and with whom.

In retrospect, I’ve always fallen in love with smart men who made me laugh. Oh, they made me cry as well, (I wouldn’t be human if I’ve never cried over love) and I suspect that when I find my “true love,” the gamut of emotions I experience will include a few tears, but lots of laughter and joy.

He won’t be perfect, but he’ll be wonderful in my eyes. He won’t be a rocket scientist, but he’ll understand my complexities. He won’t be rich, but he’ll be full of sweetness and light. He won’t be famous, but I’ll know Read more of this post

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