October 19, 2013 28 Comments
August 22, 2013 4 Comments
In the world of Malutopia lived an alpha male named Zeuks Strong. From his swagger and his muscles to his talent in seduction, Zeuks represented all that is manly and good in Malutopia. Zeuks along with his fellows schlongers Dionassus, Pervinsky, and Dickends worked, played and lived up to the Malutopia philosophy: Spread your seed for your need to breed. Read more of this post
August 11, 2013 10 Comments
Great inventions from great minds:
Popsicle: In 1905 Frank Epperson left his soft drink with a stirring stick inside it out in the cold and the next day voilà the “Eppsicle” now known as a popsicle was created.
**What do you get when you leave a horny dude out in the cold all night long? A Read more of this post
August 2, 2013 10 Comments
I believe in the cosmic significance of chaotic events. Our lives, a farce or tragedy scripted by irony, contain moments of joy and sorrow. Joy is meant to be and sorrow occurs upon the malfunction of the universe. When chaos strikes I dig deep into my free will and force a chuckle out of misery because I refuse to Read more of this post
March 10, 2013 24 Comments
This one is an oldie, but still a goodie for a laugh … even if it’s at my own stinky expense!
When I can talk myself into it, I put on my iPod and blast Springsteen and Tom Petty for the next two and a half miles while I speed walk on the horse trail in my neighborhood. I’ve never seen any horses, only people and pet owners who think the trail is a lavatory for their pets. About a mile and a half into my walk, I saw a big clump of poop and I side-stepped to avoid it. I twisted my ankle on a small hole in the ground and I fell face first. My face missed the other turd ahead but my hands landed splat on them. Read more of this post
February 11, 2013 29 Comments
He makes you feel squishy and gooey in all the right places. He’s tough, he’s dangerous and he’s hot. Bad boys make our blood boil and quiver our delicate loins. We know they’re not good for us, but why do we find them so damn irresistible?
He wasn’t very tall and he had funny looking ears, but the way Clark Gable swept Vivien Leigh up those stairs in “Gone with the Wind” makes my heart go pitter patter and other lady parts as well. Read more of this post
February 3, 2013 26 Comments
Sometimes I think that my dreams are true.
I still believe I’ll find “the one” even though I’ve been with a bunch of “no ones.”
Sometimes I eat dessert for breakfast.
If subversive thoughts were a crime, then I’d be serving a life sentence.
I want to throw garbage at reality stars walking the red carpet. Read more of this post