How Sex Can Ruin You

Wikimedia Commons -originally posted to Flickr as Love in Wiesbaden-Jacob Appelbaum

We all want it. Even when we don’t have anyone to do it with we want it even more. Yes … SEX … that yearning … that itch that needs to be scratched.

That old adage that masturbation is sex with someone “I” love is true. I love me, but sometimes I want someone (that doesn’t require batteries) to “love” me. But I’m not the casual sex type even though my noodle has truly freaky sexy scenarios going on 24/7. But fantasy only goes so far. Even real vanilla sex is more scintillating than the imagined kind.

But I do have a problem.

Female Sexuality–The Mind and Body Discrepancy

My serious and most revealing post– in case you missed it. 

Wikimedia Commons/Kos

 

I’m a paradox. A reader recently commented on my inconsistent ramblings and his comment inspired me to explore my noodle. Since I am contradictory in so many ways I decided to ruminate on an interesting subject–SEX.

I have certain thought proclivities that I’ve never acted out, but they are constant in giving me a “happy ending.” I’ve never converged fantasy and reality, and I believe that this “mental constraint” is part of my incongruous nature.

So I did some research and found an interesting article from  Read more

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

Why Keeping Your Mouth Shut is the Best Revenge

While at the bulk nuts section of my favorite specialty grocery store, I was scooping unsalted pepitas in a plastic bag when I heard three consecutive hey yous. I turned around and the guy behind me said  your purse is open and your wallet is about to fall. I looked at my bag and realized he was right. What a nice man I thought. So I quickly closed my purse and thanked him. He responded with a whatever, shook his head and walked away. So, I continued my shopping thankful of the averted pecuniary disaster and headed to the

Pop Culture and Celebrity Confusions

I need help understanding the following phenomena:

Showtime-www.sho.com

Big Brother After Dark: I regretted watching 15 minutes of this live video feed of a bunch of plotting housemates eating, talking and scratching their nether regions. Can anybody tell me why Showtime wants to stream this on their network?

The Kardashians: Why is the media so fascinated with a bunch of untalented albeit attractive “women” who date athletes? And now, they’ve got a clothing line at Sears.

I really need help on this one as I just want to gag myself with a ladle

You don’t have to be a star to deserve my love

I often wonder when and where I’ll fall in love gain and with whom. 

In retrospect, I’ve always fallen in love with smart men who made me laugh. Oh, they made me cry as well, (I wouldn’t be human if I’ve never cried over love) and I suspect that when I find my “true love,” the gamut of emotions I experience will include a few tears, but lots of laughter and joy.

He won’t be perfect, but he’ll be wonderful in my eyes. He won’t be a rocket scientist, but he’ll understand my complexities. He won’t be rich, but he’ll be full of sweetness and light. He won’t be famous, but I’ll know

The Break-up Letter from my Secret Lover

Wikimedia Commons - Chase William Merritt Modern Magdalen 1888

Sadly, I found this letter on my bed this morning:

Dear L.

It wouldn’t be fair for me say goodbye without telling you why. We’ve shared many clandestine days and nights that I’ll never forget. In times of trouble and loneliness I gave you sweetness and light. In times of boredom, I entertained you. I always gave you

Ready to Rumble at the Airport

Yesterday, I picked up a friend at the airport and almost got into a fight. This is how it went down.

I arrive just in time and saw her waiting for me at the passenger pick up curb of LAX. I parked the car, popped the hood and got out to help her with her luggage. She either packed a dead body or slabs of concrete because that sucker was heavy. She grabbed one end I grabbed another but we couldn’t hoist the ton of bricks into my trunk. My friend weighs about five pounds and how she got that lug from the baggage claim to the trolley was a mystery to me. We struggled for another minute until I told her that we should take out some of the contents to lighten it up. She searched her purse for the luggage keys but she couldn’t find it.

It’s summer in Los Angeles. I’d broken a sweat and my temper’s flaring

Complexities of Female Sexuality–The Mind and Body Discrepancy

Wikimedia Commons/Kos

I’m a paradox. A reader recently commented on my inconsistent ramblings and his comment inspired me to explore my noodle. Since I am contradictory in so many ways I decided to ruminate on an interesting subject sex.

I have certain thought proclivities that I’ve never acted out, but they are constant in giving me a “happy ending.” I’ve never converged fantasy and reality, and I believe that this “mental constraint” is part of my incongruous nature.

So I did some research and found an interesting article from

What Does a Woman Want?

She wants men to stop looking at her tits and ass and look at the goodness of her soul.

She wants to be a sexual object in bed and a respected partner in life.

She wants a little help with the kids.

She wants to soak in the tub without your

What a Wonderful World Full of Troubles

Today:

I checked my  bank account and saw how poor I am. I can save some money by not shopping … for food.. Good news is that I needed to go on a diet anyway.

I poured sour milk on my cereal. It’s a good thing I noticed the clumps before I started eating. 

I ran out of shampoo and washed my hair with soap. My hair is now nice and