I love the bad boys …

He makes you feel squishy and gooey in all the right places. He’s tough, he’s dangerous and he’s hot. Bad boys make our blood boil and quiver our delicate loins. We know they’re not good for us, but why do we find them so damn irresistible?

He wasn’t very tall and he had funny looking ears, but the way Clark Gable swept Vivien Leigh up those stairs in “Gone with the Wind” makes my heart go pitter patter and other lady parts as well. 

The Horny Pooch and My Wardrobe Malfunction

It’s not exactly skirt and sandal season, but I was going through some old posts and realized that this is a perfect example of a crazy chick moment when laughing at the malfunction of the universe is absolutely better than crying about it. Enjoy!

The hot weather prompted me to digress from wearing pants to wearing a skirt and a blouse. Since I’m rather “full” on top I used a safety pin to close the peek-a-boo see my bra gap. I was all intact and ready to

Online Dating Misadventures Part 3.2

An old post for my new readers … enjoy!

My quest to find love online continues. Each dating website I explored echoed the human condition–we’re all a big mess and we’re all looking for love to give us a sense of peace and order in a malfunctioning universe. Here’s my adventure with Love Access:

Love Access is free, but you can’t make initial contact until you upgrade. But upgraded members can send you instant messages. So, I explored the site looking for the incentive to drop some dough in my search for “true love.”

Online Dating Misadventures Part 3.1

An old post for my new readers. Enjoy

Searching for “the one” online is like choosing produce at the grocery store. You don’t want to pick the bruised or the rotten; so, you need to sniff, pinch and handle them a bit to see if they’re any good.

Lavalife has three sections for user profiles: Dating, Relationships and Intimate Encounters. Signing up with Lavalife means that I can hypothetically go bowling with a fun guy, have sex with a

A Crazy Chick’s Version of a Perfect World

In my perfect world:

the more you eat the less you’ll weigh

the drive-thru lane always gets your order right

there are no cosmetic surgeons because wrinkles don’t exist

children are happy, loved, nurtured and educated

soldiers will carry tambourines and daisies instead of guns and bombs

politicians will think about the people instead of the next election

I can have an orgasm just by thinking about it and it will last for as long as I want it to …

Lady Gaga looks human and not like an alien

My Most Popular Post

Dear Readers,

I recently took a look at my top posts and noticed that “Sex Addiction and Real Dolls” has had the most views, but not a lot of comments. So I’m sharing the article on this post so new readers can take a gander at what my noodle was thinking about last July. Let me know what you think.

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

A Crazy Chick’s Version of a Perfect World

In my perfect world:

the more you eat the less you’ll weigh

the drive-thru lane always gets your order right

there are no cosmetic surgeons because wrinkles don’t exist

children are happy, loved, nurtured and educated

soldiers will carry tambourines and daisies instead of guns and bombs

politicians will think about the people instead of the next election

I can have an orgasm just by thinking about it and it will last for as long as I want it to …

Lady Gaga looks human and not like an alien

My Funny Insanity

Here are some previous posts you may have missed. Enjoy … 

Meditation schmeditation: I know a better way to relax: A very effective way to release the tension.

Questions I asked Mommy and Daddy: I asked lots of questions, but in retrospect I don’t think I ever got any straight answers.

The Horny Pooch and My Wardrobe Malfunction: This one you just have to read!

Translations at the Nail Salon: Sometimes it’s best not to know what other people are talking about.

Confessions of a former snooper: Have you ever snooped and wished that you hadn’t?

Don’t Flirt on my Time: This post depicts customer service at its worst.

Nominated for Best Humor Blog at Bloggers Choice Awards. Please vote 

Join the Crazy Chicks Club.

Click here if you’re a Crazy Freak.

Visit my fan page on Facebook.

© 2011 Lafemmeroar

Why Keeping Your Mouth Shut is the Best Revenge

While at the bulk nuts section of my favorite specialty grocery store, I was scooping unsalted pepitas in a plastic bag when I heard three consecutive hey yous. I turned around and the guy behind me said  your purse is open and your wallet is about to fall. I looked at my bag and realized he was right. What a nice man I thought. So I quickly closed my purse and thanked him. He responded with a whatever, shook his head and walked away. So, I continued my shopping thankful of the averted pecuniary disaster and headed to the

The Man from Malutopia–Love Button Twitchings and Confusions #2

Part #1: This is the metamorphosis of a man who turns into a woman in a world dominated by men.

Zelda knew the schlongs would come back, and make her the queen of their schlong bang, but not before they contacted their leader Zeuks to join in on the fun. How ironic that a day ago Zeuks was the banger and now his schlonglessness would make him the “bangee.” The events of the day put a heavy toll in his her psyche for Zelda despite her newly formed “femmeness” still harbored a lot of alpha-maleness in her mind. All this was too confusing and stressful. In times of stress Zeuks spanked the schlong, but since Zeuks is now Zelda there was no schlong to spank.

But there is a love button behind the folds and he was an expert at rubbing that. So Zelda lay down on the bed and proceeded with de-stressing her mind. After a long while of rubbing and tugging her love button Zelda found