September 2, 2013 25 Comments
August 22, 2013 4 Comments
In the world of Malutopia lived an alpha male named Zeuks Strong. From his swagger and his muscles to his talent in seduction, Zeuks represented all that is manly and good in Malutopia. Zeuks along with his fellows schlongers Dionassus, Pervinsky, and Dickends worked, played and lived up to the Malutopia philosophy: Spread your seed for your need to breed. Read more of this post
August 18, 2013 29 Comments
In a world where words such as fairness and justice are open to interpretation I understand that such ideas can have varying meanings at varying degrees.
After all I think that earning a million dollars for merely waking up in the morning is “fair“ but it’s a pipe dream unless the value of a millions dollars downgrades to zilch.
It would be justice for anyone who has done me wrong to grow a third Read more of this post
August 11, 2013 10 Comments
Great inventions from great minds:
Popsicle: In 1905 Frank Epperson left his soft drink with a stirring stick inside it out in the cold and the next day voilà the “Eppsicle” now known as a popsicle was created.
**What do you get when you leave a horny dude out in the cold all night long? A Read more of this post
August 8, 2013 17 Comments
My raging appetite is like a randy man-whore constantly out on the prowl for his next piece of bootie.
Excess is never good, which is why I’ve tried to tame my lust for food with simple self-control. If I want cheesecake, I eat a slice instead of two. If I want ice cream, I have a scoop instead of three. If I’m craving pasta, I have one serving instead of several. My onsies food strategy worked and I looked svelte without the SPANX. Read more of this post
August 2, 2013 10 Comments
I believe in the cosmic significance of chaotic events. Our lives, a farce or tragedy scripted by irony, contain moments of joy and sorrow. Joy is meant to be and sorrow occurs upon the malfunction of the universe. When chaos strikes I dig deep into my free will and force a chuckle out of misery because I refuse to Read more of this post
July 2, 2013 18 Comments
An old post that deserves a new audience.
Just call me Morticia, for even in the hell of the heat I’ll wear black, which is exactly what I did at a pre-4th of July barbecue I attended as a tag along with another single friend of mine. I don’t want to be the only unmarried one there she said and of course she singled me out from her handful of other single and not hating it lady friends. As I’m not the type to Read more of this post
March 10, 2013 24 Comments
This one is an oldie, but still a goodie for a laugh … even if it’s at my own stinky expense!
When I can talk myself into it, I put on my iPod and blast Springsteen and Tom Petty for the next two and a half miles while I speed walk on the horse trail in my neighborhood. I’ve never seen any horses, only people and pet owners who think the trail is a lavatory for their pets. About a mile and a half into my walk, I saw a big clump of poop and I side-stepped to avoid it. I twisted my ankle on a small hole in the ground and I fell face first. My face missed the other turd ahead but my hands landed splat on them. Read more of this post
February 11, 2013 29 Comments
He makes you feel squishy and gooey in all the right places. He’s tough, he’s dangerous and he’s hot. Bad boys make our blood boil and quiver our delicate loins. We know they’re not good for us, but why do we find them so damn irresistible?
He wasn’t very tall and he had funny looking ears, but the way Clark Gable swept Vivien Leigh up those stairs in “Gone with the Wind” makes my heart go pitter patter and other lady parts as well. Read more of this post