Red, White and Blue All Over Me

This is an oldie but a goodie!

Just call me Morticia, for even in the hell of the heat I’ll wear black, which is exactly what I did at a recent pre-4th of July barbecue I attended as a tag along with another single friend of mine. I don’t want to be the only unmarried one there she said and of course she singled me out from her handful of other single and not hating it lady friends. As I’m not the type to

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Being an Equal Opportunity Blogger

I needed to post this again for my new readers … :)

I was with my friend the other night and I showed her my blog. She cruised the site and said your blog seems biased against men. So I said it is? And she said yeah, and she read out loud some of my blog titles:

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Thoughts about the World from a Crazy Chick

Screen shot 2011-06-28 at 1.06.10 PMAlthough I always say that laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it, I must admit that I just can’t laugh when my noodle twists and ponders about the mysteries of the world. That is until I was able to answer them with satisfaction:
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The Man from Malutopia–A Story of Genital Proportions

In the world of Malutopia lived an alpha male named Zeuks Strong. From his swagger and his muscles to his talent in seduction, Zeuks represented all that is manly and good in Malutopia. Zeuks along with his fellows schlongers Dionassus, Pervinsky, and Dickends worked, played and lived up to the Malutopia philosophy: Spread your seed for your need to breed. Read more of this post

Fighting for my right to make my own mistakes

In a world where words such as fairness and justice are open to interpretation I understand that such ideas can have varying meanings at varying degrees.

After all I think that earning a million dollars for merely waking up in the morning is “fair but it’s a pipe dream unless the value of a millions dollars downgrades to zilch.

It would be justice for anyone who has done me wrong to grow a third Read more of this post

Inventive thoughts … from a Crazy Chick

Great inventions from great minds:

Popsicle: In 1905 Frank Epperson left his soft drink with a stirring stick inside it out in the cold and the next day voilà the “Eppsicle” now known as a popsicle was created.

**What do you get when you leave a horny dude out in the cold all night long? A Read more of this post

The Devil Made Me Eat It

My raging appetite is like a randy man-whore constantly out on the prowl for his next piece of bootie.

Excess is never good, which is why I’ve tried to tame my lust for food with simple self-control. If I want cheesecake, I eat a slice instead of two. If I want ice cream, I have a scoop instead of three. If I’m craving pasta, I have one serving instead of several. My onsies food strategy worked and I looked svelte without the SPANXRead more of this post

Cosmic Significance of Chaotic Events

I believe in the cosmic significance of chaotic events. Our lives, a farce or tragedy scripted by irony, contain moments of joy and sorrow. Joy is meant to be and sorrow occurs upon the malfunction of the universe. When chaos strikes I dig deep into my free will and force a chuckle out of misery because I refuse to Read more of this post

4th of July, Kids and Being Single

An old post that deserves a new audience. 

Just call me Morticia, for even in the hell of the heat I’ll wear black, which is exactly what I did at a  pre-4th of July barbecue I attended as a tag along with another single friend of mine. I don’t want to be the only unmarried one there she said and of course she singled me out from her handful of other single and not hating it lady friends. As I’m not the type to Read more of this post

Pooper Scooper and the Hazards of Walking

This one is an oldie, but still a goodie for a laugh … even if it’s at my own stinky expense!

When I can talk myself into it, I put on my iPod and blast Springsteen and Tom Petty for the next two and a half miles while I speed walk on the horse trail in my neighborhood. I’ve never seen any horses, only people and pet owners who think the trail is a lavatory for their pets.  About a mile and a half into my walk, I saw a big clump of poop and I side-stepped to avoid it.  I twisted my ankle on a small hole in the ground and I fell face first. My face missed the other turd ahead but my hands landed splat on them. Read more of this post

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