The Art of Aging Gracefully

Rotting Aging isn’t a bad thing. There are perks in getting older such as wisdom, AARP membership and young folks believing what you say because they think you’ve been there and done that. Getting older isn’t a negative thing at all. So it’s important to age with grace. Here’s how: Read more of this post

Kids are sweet when they lie

I asked my 12-year-old nephew if he will still let me kiss him and pinch his cheeks when he’s 30. He gave me a WTF look, but he nodded his head and said yes. What man, at the prime of life would want an old crazy chick pinching his cheeks in front of a “chickadee”? But he couldn’t hurt my feelings. Kids are so sweet when they lie …

In trying to get my niece and nephew to eat more vegetables, I gave them a tall glass of spinach and parsley smoothie. When I asked them if it was good, they both chimed in and said “it’s really good Auntie Lafemme” even though they both looked like they were about to HURL. But they Read more of this post

Being an Equal Opportunity Blogger

I needed to post this again for my new readers … :)

I was with my friend the other night and I showed her my blog. She cruised the site and said your blog seems biased against men. So I said it is? And she said yeah, and she read out loud some of my blog titles:

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Signs that you grew up in a dysfunctional home

Hello Dear Readers,

We’re all a little crazy because many of us grew up in less than stellar homes. So, I thought I’d make this list for you. If you answer yes to at least five things on this list, then you belong to that oh so special group of people who survived the hell that was their childhood.

  1. When you asked for permission, your father said “go ask your mother” and when you did she said “go ask your father.” And when you asked them together, they whacked you on the head for bothering them.

  2. Alcohol was a staple item at mealtimes like dinner rolls.

  3. Your parents spiked their coffee.

  4. Your parents spiked your milk bottle.

  5. You learned how to lie at a very young age–beats a beating!

  6. When other kids drew sunshine and flowers next to their parents, you drew skull and bones.

  7. You call your boyfriend “Big Daddy.”

  8. Your parents told you the world is shit and you took it literally until you realized it was a metaphor.

  9. You thought “boundaries” meant locking yourself in a room to fantasize about an “alternate reality.”

  10. You thought all mothers ran around the house screaming what her life would have been like if she never met your father.

  11. You thought “Bitch” meant “Mom.”

  12. And “Motherf&#*%#” meant “Dad.”

  13. Read more of this post

Haunted by Past Relationships

My track record in relationships hasn’t been stellar.

The ghost of Christmas Past woke me up one night

to haunt me about the way I treated my ex-boyfriends.

I guess he wanted me to see the error of my ways.

1_dumpingchristmastrash

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How Santa Can Make Christmas Suck

Every year I wish that Santa will give me something really good for Christmas. After all … I try to be good (in my own way) all year long and I should be rewarded for my deeds …shouldn’t I????

What do you think Crazy Chicks?

1_christmas

Read more of this post

How to Diet on Thanksgiving

Argue with that relative you hate!

The anger and stress will have you reaching for the booze instead of the Read more of this post

From Hell to Pleasure–A Poem

Oh no! Save me!

 

{Dear Friends … it’s been a while, so here’s a re-post of a poem in honor of Halloween}

Twas all Hallows Eve and all through the house

I heard creepy noises could it be a mouse?

I checked all the rooms and down through the hall

Then I heard it tap tapping right through the wall

My heart filled with fright and I ran to the door

Ready to scream then I tripped on the floor

I lifted my head and out came a creature

It looked like a monster from some sci-fi feature Read more of this post

Having Fun with Someecards–Crazy Captions about Life

She might look calm, but think again!

What's in a Woman's Mind

Do you believe in equal rights for women? This one believes in “tit for tat.” Read more of this post

Thoughts about the World from a Crazy Chick

Screen shot 2011-06-28 at 1.06.10 PMAlthough I always say that laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it, I must admit that I just can’t laugh when my noodle twists and ponders about the mysteries of the world. That is until I was able to answer them with satisfaction:
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