What the Rich Think About the Poor

It Strikes Me as Odd — A Fable

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Once upon a time in a place called Nowhere during the era of Ubiquity there were two women having tea and scones in an elegant and dainty café.

“It strikes me as odd that the color of money is green,” Aye Whole said as she put a piece of scone in her mouth.

“I think it would be much prettier if it were rainbow-colored don’t you?” said her friend Fallow Weir.

“No. As someone who has a lot of money, I can without a doubt say that money would be much more pleasantly held in my hand if it were a different color. Say the color of gold for the rich and brown for the poor.”

“Why brown for the poor?” Fallow asked stirring her tea.

“Because brown is the color of excrement,” replied Aye. “And everything the poor touches turns into excrement. And it should be gold for the rich because we have the Read more of this post

What men really mean

Ever wonder what men really mean?

Wonder no more. I’m here to give you the 101:

A man who criticizes the size of a woman’s ass is actually criticizing the shortcomings of his schlong.

A man who says “I can do better than you” is actually saying “I’m not good enough for you.”

When he says “I think we should see other people” what he means is that he wants to catch an STD, but he doesn’t want to give it to you.

When you see “your new guy” in an awkward moment and he shrugs you off by saying Read more of this post

Magic of Economics

economic-trickery

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© 2014 Lafemmeroar

The Blatant Truth

She might look calm, but think again!

What's in a Woman's Mind

Do you believe in equal rights for women? This one believes in “tit for tat.” Read more of this post

Fantasy Guy versus Real Guy

  • Fantasy guy smells good.  Real guy farts out the chili he had for lunch.

  • Fantasy guy is well groomed. Real guy cuts his nails and lets the clippings drop to the floor.

  • Fantasy guy knows fine cuisine. Real guy puts the fries in his hamburger then dips the whole thing in bbq sauce.

  • Fantasy guy buys tampons for you. Real guy says “ARE YOU F#*+#&G CRAZY!!!!!” and tosses you a roll of toilet paper.

  • Fantasy guy buys you flowers. Real guy thinks flowers are a waste of money.

  • Fantasy guy gives you oral sex. Real guy says “I’ll do you if you do me first” then once he gets his happy ending he doesn’t bother to return the “favor.”

  • Fantasy guy is a billionaire. Real guy makes you pay for your dinner.

  • Fantasy guy buys you lingerie at Victoria’s Secret. Real guy takes you to the 99 cent store.

  • Fantasy guy never looks at other women. Real guy has eye radar for any tit (real or fake) and ass (big or small) that passes by!

  • Fantasy guy loves your curves. Real guy wants an anorexic.

  • Fantasy guy watches Lifetime movies with you. Real guy watches ESPN 24/7.

  • Fantasy guy hates strip clubs. Real guy walks into a strip club and they all know him by name “Regular.”

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© 2014 Lafemmeroar

The Art of Aging Gracefully

Rotting Aging isn’t a bad thing. There are perks in getting older such as wisdom, AARP membership and young folks believing what you say because they think you’ve been there and done that. Getting older isn’t a negative thing at all. So it’s important to age with grace. Here’s how: Read more of this post

Kids are sweet when they lie

I asked my 12-year-old nephew if he will still let me kiss him and pinch his cheeks when he’s 30. He gave me a WTF look, but he nodded his head and said yes. What man, at the prime of life would want an old crazy chick pinching his cheeks in front of a “chickadee”? But he couldn’t hurt my feelings. Kids are so sweet when they lie …

In trying to get my niece and nephew to eat more vegetables, I gave them a tall glass of spinach and parsley smoothie. When I asked them if it was good, they both chimed in and said “it’s really good Auntie Lafemme” even though they both looked like they were about to HURL. But they Read more of this post

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