The Blatant Truth

She might look calm, but think again!

What's in a Woman's Mind

Do you believe in equal rights for women? This one believes in “tit for tat.” Read more of this post

Unintentional Sexual Thoughts

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I’m single and dateless, that also means I’m “sexless.” But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about it. In fact I think more about sex when I’m not getting it. I think about sex multiple times a day–hell multiple times an hour and sometimes multiple times a minute when I have my quickie thoughts.

I can be teary-eyed while cutting up an onion, but my mind will be engrossed with thoughts about scorching the sheets with some hot fantasy male. In fact I’m thinking about sex now. I think about sex so much that I’ve suffered many embarrassing  Read more of this post

Don’t Flirt on my Time

Patience is a virtue. I went to Starbucks and while I had intended to go through the drive through my tush said that I should park and walk it because I could use the “exercise.” Big mistake … I walk into a long line. I hate lines and the slow as snail baristas melts my patience like a glacier in hell. While waiting I try to entertain myself with the knick knacks on the shelves and ponder the logic of buying an overpriced coffee maker.

Hallelujah I’m next. Only the chick (flashing silicone cleavage) in front of me is flirting with the order taker (the horny half-wit). The two talk about clubbing, partying and other mindless “ing” activities while the last person in line (me) is  chomping at the bits for her caffeine fix. The guy behind the counter sees me, Read more of this post

10 Signs That He’s Mr. Wrong

man dorkHere are 10 signs that say the guy you’re with is NOT the guy for YOU:

  1. The word “commitment” isn’t in his vocabulary: But he knows how to say “no strings sex” and “I need to see other people” in 5 different languages

  2. He’s still looking for himself: If he’s lost, then you’ll never find love with him.

  3. He’s exactly like your ex-boyfriend: This one is a no-brainer … DUH!

  4. His words don’t match his actions: He says you’re the only woman for him, while his eyes fixate on the blonde bombshell and her knockers.

  5. You don’t speak the same language: You say potato–he says potaTOH. You say relationship–he says bootie call. Oh just call the whole thing off. Read more of this post

Me and My Spanx

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 It’s not PMS when figure control is involved :)

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What to Expect When You’re Single

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Life is a daily surprise. Just when you think you’ve got your future planned, fate throws in a monkey wrench wrecking the synchronicity of your world order. If you thought that you’d find your true love by now, but it hasn’t happened yet, don’t fret. I can’t predict your life expectancy, but I can predict what you can expect when you are single. Read more of this post

Kids are sweet when they lie

I asked my 12-year-old nephew if he will still let me kiss him and pinch his cheeks when he’s 30. He gave me a WTF look, but he nodded his head and said yes. What man, at the prime of life would want an old crazy chick pinching his cheeks in front of a “chickadee”? But he couldn’t hurt my feelings. Kids are so sweet when they lie …

In trying to get my niece and nephew to eat more vegetables, I gave them a tall glass of spinach and parsley smoothie. When I asked them if it was good, they both chimed in and said “it’s really good Auntie Lafemme” even though they both looked like they were about to HURL. But they Read more of this post

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