The True Meaning of Words in the Dictionary

Wikimedia Commons

Wikimedia Commons

I was at the used book store the other day when I came upon a book titled:

The True Meaning of Words.”

People with corks up their butts have banned this book for decades, but I got my hands on it now and I’m sharing these super-fabulous words with you my dear readers. So here are some of my favorites:

Backbone: A schlong up the butt

Upbeat: A man who masturbates standing up

Brainchild: A 40-year-old man who acts like a kid

Creepologist: A professional creep

Male Enhancement: A man in touch with his feminine side! 

Tadpole: A little wee schlong

Technical Virgin: A chick who’s been poked on every orifice except “one Read more of this post

Twisted Crossed Words and Coined Phrases

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog?

A catty bitch

What’s a crazy person who thinks they’re sane?

A logical loon

What do you do when you see a woman with PMS?

Hide

What do you call a bath in the land of King Midas? Read more of this post

Medical terms you won’t find on WebMD

An old post for my new readers … Enjoy :)

Jerkteria: A micro-organism extremely attracted to cells with low-self esteem.

Venereal Idiocy: A lapse in judgement usually due to extreme horniness.

Superficialism: The addiction to surgical procedures that reverse the sign of aging on the outside without reversing the rot on the inside.

Couchanism: One who is addicted to therapy even though they are beyond treatment.

Bedbugging: The constant poking of the person sleeping next to you to see if they’re awake.

SARS (Singles Addicted to Romantic Silliness): Single chicks who are unable to comprehend that in reality knights in shinning armor are full of rust.

ABC (Alternative Birth Control): The act of simultaneous masturbation Read more of this post

The True Meaning of Words in the Dictionary

Wikimedia Commons

Wikimedia Commons

I was at the used book store the other day when I came upon a book titled:

The True Meaning of Words.”

People with corks up their butts have banned this book for decades, but I got my hands on it now and I’m sharing these super-fabulous words with you my dear readers. So here are some of my favorites:

Backbone: A schlong up the butt

Upbeat: A man who masturbates standing up

Brainchild: A 40-year-old man who acts like a kid

Creepologist: A professional creep

Male Enhancement: A man in touch with his feminine side! 

Tadpole: A little wee schlong

Technical Virgin: A chick who’s been poked on every orifice except “one Read more of this post

Insulting Blog Comments Make Me Wanna Rant

Angry chickThe other day, a commentator from another blog called me “immature” and “vapid.” This was because “said” blog  posted a “rebuttal” about one of my posts.

If you’re thinking why is Lafemme being so cryptic?

Well … let me just say that the post in reference had nothing to do with “schlong whackings” in fact it was a rather sweet post about a man’s love … investigative noodles will figure this out. Anyway, I was okay with the “immature” comment since I’ve always believed that I’m a “mental” 12 year old … my noodle just refuses to EVOLVE.

I've been 12 for decades!

I’ve been 12 for decades!

BUT VAPID? First I didn’t know what the hell that word meant, but all I know is that I felt soooooo Read more of this post

Wordplay the Crazy Chick Way

What do you call a man who cheats and says he’ll never do it again? A mono-two-timer

What do you call a friend who is not really your friend? A faux-pal

What do you call a woman who keeps returning over and over again to the man who constantly cheats on her? A Sissy-phussy

What do you call a shopaholic? Maxed-out!

What do you call someone addicted to porn? Cantgetnone

What do you call someone addicted to exercise? A sweataholic

What do you call a buffet table when you’re on a diet? Read more of this post

The Writing Life

Wikimedia Commons–PD-Art

Writing is like a sadomasochistic relationship with myself. It is excruciating and orgasmic. I write because I never thought I could do it and I’m trying to attain my potential through words and ideas that I hope will bring joy to someone who stumbles upon my nook in this digital world. Read more of this post

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