Online Dating is it a Good Idea? Part 1


Years ago I subscribed to an online dating site called e-Harmony. I answered their lengthy questionnaire and I received two matches of men whose profiles depicted them to be bitter and angry about the world and relationships. Did my matches from eHarmony want a woman or a punching bag? Was it me? Did my responses  (oh I don’t know) suggest that I’m a good match for such men? Did I not have what other (sane, un-angry) men are looking for? These questions plagued my mind before I came upon the conclusion that it was not me but e-Harmony’s 29 Dimensions of Compatibility that was contradictory with my required “dimensions of compatibility.” I ended my subscription–perhaps prematurely. And as I watched eHarmony commercials of happy couples I thought that could be me had I kept my subscription active. I could be smiling and hugging my man while we danced to “This Will Be” by Natalie Cole.

Then, my friend told me about another dating site called True.com. The site performed “Criminal Screenings for Felonies” and “Single Certification.” In other words, True.com checks to make sure that your date wasn’t some prison inmate’s married love-buddy. That didn’t sound very attractive to me either. It’s like testing a yummy piece of cake for poison before eating it. I’m not that cynical. I believe in humanity. And the idea of background checks seemed pragmatic, but very unromantic. My friend did go on a bunch of dates with some “True guys” and two of them it turns out were married and one had a criminal record. She found out by doing her “own” background check. I told her she should have asked True for a refund.

A 2010 article from the American Sociological Association claims that people with internet access have a greater chance of finding relationships in comparison to people who didn’t have internet access. The influx of dating and social networking sites make it easier and faster for people to connect. Instead of singles bars there are singles sites. You can get to know your potential date digitally before you meet him in the flesh. But this is exactly what I did with eHarmony and I got nothing but “two angry men.” Were my chances better in 2011 to find true love? Could eHarmony have improved their mad math skills in computing love matches?

I needed to re-immerse myself in the digital dating world. Maybe I need to scour pictures of available men online instead of reading articles from “The New Yorker.” Maybe I need to chunk some dough into another dating site instead of spending my money shoe shopping at Nordstroms.com.

I wanted to chat face to face instead of messaging. I wanted to laugh and not type lol, lmao or brb (when I needed a bathroom break). My enthusiasm got ahead of me. I needed to take a step back.  I’d get to know them first online, then on to phase two with the flesh and bone meet and greet. Then I thought there are plenty of other dating sites out there that are possibly better than eHarmony or True.com. So, I spent the last two weeks registering on various online dating sites.

Stay tuned for Part 2,

Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

13 Responses to Online Dating is it a Good Idea? Part 1

  1. I dont believe that the mind dictates everything we do. I believe that the mind is good at two things, remembering past events and predicting future events. It seems to always tell us how reality will work out before it is even there. If someone gives us a dirty look the mind might say, “That person is an asshole” without incorporating a million other ideas like maybe the person is having a bad day, maybe the person is really tired, maybe the person wishes he/she was you. I think after investigating our thoughts we can realize that our thinking is just based off preconceived notions in which a lot of them arent true. Another question that I ask myself and which I will ask you, “if the mind stores past events and predicts future events, where do all of our new ideas come from?”

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Okay … are you talking about the mind and online dating or is this about another post? 🙂 Because my memory banks are failing me and my psychic ability in predicting future events ain’t that good.

      But I’ll play and say that some people can have multiple thoughts regarding a dirty look. And if someone gave me a dirty look I “can predict” that I would attribute if not a million then at least a couple of dozen possibilities to that look and mostly likely come up with another couple of dozen snarky comebacks. New ideas are the fruit of the past and future doing some forbidden hanky panky.

  2. It will be interesting to find out what happens. I have friends that have met their husbands online. I laughed about your friend’s dates from True.com… Love it!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I’m still in the process. I’ve signed up on various sites and I’ll give you a little spoiler on part 2, it’s painful… because you have to create profiles and answers questions/quizzes and look through pictures and etc. It’s hard work. Regarding my friend, I didn’t write about everything. Some were really hilarious like the guy who gave her a rose with thorns and the guy who seems to have never eaten at a sit down place because they went to the cheesecake factory and he tried to place an order at the hostess’ podium. I mean, it’s absurd, but it’s real life.

  3. Patti Kuche says:

    This is a scream and I can’t wait for Part 2. Sorry it comes at the expense of your personal life . . . but you do write very well!

    Are those eHarmony couples for real?

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thank you very much Patti. I’m glad someone out there appreciates … I feel that I hit a dead wall with eHarmony, but that was years ago. Still working on Part 2. Thanks for visiting 🙂

  4. Bleau says:

    Thanks for the read! Relate all too well and no… eharmony hasn’t improved… stay tuned for some hair raising online dating experiences on my page… LOL… PS I put you on my blogroll, you are awesome 🙂

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      thanks and I’ll do the same to you 🙂 love your stuff as well 🙂 I’m still working on part 2. I’ll probably post it next week.

  5. momfog says:

    match.com is where it’s at, baby. I know a woman who met her husband through the site and just got married in Hawaii.

    Her mom hates her husband and there was a brief period where she wasn’t allowed to see her granddaughter, but other than that, perfection. 🙂

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I know a few people who use the site, but no marriages yet. We’ll see. I’ve researched the site as well … seems promising.

  6. hutchbunny says:

    Thank you, I’m am loving your blog so far :)…I too am doing the internet dating thing and if nothing else it can be amusing at times. Can’t wait for Part 3 of your dating adventure 🙂

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Haven’t got to the dating part. I’m still on phase one … don’t know how far I’ll get … stay tuned though 🙂 Thanks for the love …

  7. Sharvil says:

    I don’t know how can people satisfy their physical needs from online relationships, but I wrote a similar post on this topic. you should check it out if you wwanna. =]

    http://lifeandcity.wordpress.com/2011/08/01/your-love-is-lifitng-me-higher/

Talk to me :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: