Reality makes me crazy

I live in the lala-land of my mind. Although I need to face the realities of a malfunctioning universe thinking about it just makes me crazy. Here’s why: 

As we get older and wiser we get wrinklier and forgetful.

The advancement of technology only means more tech FAILS.

The world keeps going round and round, which is why we’re all dazed and confused.

An over-populated world makes it hard to find my “one and only.”

There are too many ways to have sex without actually having sex: phone sex, e-mail sex, chatterotica, Tweetsex and other soon to be discovered methods.

The best looking men are either gay, married, not interested or live in our fantasies.

Women ‘s eggs shrivel up as they get older, but Hugh Hefner’s sperm are still fresh as daisies.

If we are all created equal, then why can’t men get pregnant?

There is never an opportunity to say the right thing at the right place and at the right time.

People waste money in tanning salons when the sun is free.

There is nothing novel about novelty items.

Racism, defeatism, agism, cynicism, snobbism, elitism and other negativisms are too rampant.

If love conquers all, then why can’t my love for food conquer my battle with the bulge?

   and finally

The know it alls of this world DON’T KNOW A DAMN THING …

All this makes me crazy …I’ve created an alternative reality …I prefer it that way.

What’s the malfunction in your universe?

Join the Crazy Chicks Club.

Visit my page on Facebook.

© 2011 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

24 Responses to Reality makes me crazy

  1. Doctor Shoko says:

    In my universe, I was born with a maulfunction. I think the secret is either turning your head away or looking it right in the eyes – not anything in between.

  2. beider says:

    Crazy and fucked up is fun though, would be boring if everything always went according to plan.

    I have yet to see anyone have tweetsex, that just sounds horrible and far too public.

  3. Maybe this world is the way it is, because we were never meant to love it…

  4. Aurora says:

    Hey. I resemble that remark, meant those remarks LOL. I like it in my little bubble. Yours sounds good to me, too. Stay with it, girl, it’s you and that’s why we love you.

  5. effeuiller says:

    People waste money in tanning salons when the sun is free.

    Okay, I admit, I am totally guilty of this one. BUT, in my defense, the free sun also gives free, unsexy tan lines…unless you have a private backyard, which I do not. 😦

  6. ?hup says:

    I have found my database for great facebook quotes

  7. Patti Kuche says:

    We’re all crazy but even with the freshest eggs in the world and Hugh Hefner the last guy left on the planet, I wouldn’t want his sperm anywhere near me.

    The reality that drives me crazy are the words, Naomi Watts Successful Hollywood Act (or/ress?). Someone please tell me how this happened?

    Love you new page!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      You’re funny! Hugh Hefner’s certainly had his share of chicks. He’s a walking Viagra ad.

      It’s the old page I just changed the background and added a header. Thanks for liking 🙂

  8. Patti Kuche says:

    Such a waste of good Viagra!

    (I can’t spell – you know I meant your new page)

  9. confessionsofyourhusbandsmistress says:

    I like alternate universes that are free! Frankly I spend about 90% of my “me” time on vacation there. They have the best half-naked waiters, beautiful pedicures, and absolutely the hottest sun imaginable. Yup. Sign me up for another trip to the land of enchantment.

  10. hollyjb says:

    I live in a Fantasy world, the world of all my favourite books. But usually it’s not very restful there, something horrible is always going on. Don’t worry, I’m not a Mary-Sue, I don’t save the day. At least not by myself. But sometimes I help!

    I think the only time I’ll ever use a tanning salon is if I get married. I don’t tan much on purpose, but I would do it then b/c as you said, tans lines are so not sexy.

  11. Know what makes me crazy? Talented writers like you and the other CCCers are out there and a dolt like Bristol Palin or Mike “Da Situation” gets a book published. Argh!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thank you Lorna. I guess the dolts of this world need the help of ghost writers and uber editors. In Bristol’s case I can’t believe anyone is interested in her life. I saw a snippet of her in dancing with the stars and I couldn’t believe she lasted as long as she did. Imagine reading a whole book about her … I’d rather gag myself with a ladle.

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