Sex Addiction and Real Dolls

Do you remember Barbie? Do you remember dressing her up and having her play house with Ken? If you think this endeavor is strictly for kids think again. Confused? Keep reading.

I have a friend who claims to be a sex addict. I can’t stay away from sex; I can’t function without it; I need it and I can’t seem to stop wanting it he said.  I like slutty women, who’ll do what I want when I want it, but women are complicated he said. So I asked him a few questions paraphrased from the Mayo Clinic’s list of sex addiction symptoms:

Do you have sexual impulses beyond your control?

Yes

Do you get satisfaction from having sex?

No. I can go all night. They can’t keep up.

Do you use sex as a form of escape?

Yes.

Do you engage in risky sexual behavior such as unprotected sex?

Yes I did, but not recently.

Do you engage in sex that threatens to destroy your relationship with others?

Yes. I’ve been caught cheating and once some chick’s husband threatened my life if I didn’t stop banging his sister.

Do you engage in illegal sexual behavior?

Yes,  some of the things I’ve done would be considered illegal in some states.

Do you have problems establishing emotional closeness?

Yes. I haven’t had a real girlfriend in years, but I’m okay with that. I tend to treat women as objects. I don’t even want to hear them talk sometimes.

He certainly seemed to have the symptom of a sex addict. What’s worse is that his affliction causes him to desire a fantasy woman.  I need a body to “f%ck.” Ideally I don’t want a woman I’m having sex with to think, or want or say anything; I just wanna “f&ck” em he said.

I knew he was conflicted and short of medication, castration or maybe a lobotomy there wasn’t a cure for his affliction. But I don’t want him and others like him to suffer or inflict pain and heartache on women who deserve to be treated with respect.

So I’ve come up with a solution. 

♥♥♥Sex Dolls♥♥♥

Image via Realdoll.com

The one pictured above is from Realdoll.com, a premium manufacturer of realistic looking sex dolls. The “products” are made of silicone just like “some real life women.”

Pros: 

They don’t eat.

They don’t speak.

They can’t nag or disagree with you.

They don’t get tired.

They always look like they’re horny.

They don’t get jealous.

They don’t get PMS.

They won’t scoff to a threesome or orgy.

They don’t care about spooning or cuddling.

They can’t walk so they’ll never follow or stalk you.

They don’t need foreplay. 

They don’t know the difference between kinky sex and vanilla sex.

You can lie to them and they’ll never get mad.

They’ll never have sex with your best friend unless you want them to.

They’re anatomically correct with three orifices for your dispensing pleasure.

Their jaws can’t move on their own so they’ll never bite. 

You can dress them up anyway you want.

You can stash them away when you’re done.

Cons:

They can’t give you love or understanding.

You’ll have to clean up after them (especially their three orifices).

They don’t pay rent.

They don’t give advice.

They need plenty of lube.

It’s obvious that there are more pros than cons. These dolls don’t need to climax so they’re perfect for premature ejaculators and selfish lovers. Men don’t have to worry about their penis size. Whether you’re a mini or hung like Holmes these lovelies will alway have that “duh” look on their face as is if they’ve just been hit with a battering ram.

(gasp) “You’re so huge.”

Image via Realdoll.com

Unlike “real women” who come as is, even post cosmetic surgery, buyers can design their fantasy woman by mixing and matching face and body types. You can buy two and have yourself a grand old ménage de trois and enjoy some girl on girl action poses. Plus, you can put them in your car and voilà you’ve got passengers for the carpool lane.

Gentlemen … next time you’ve got the itchin’ for some no strings nookie and a real woman is too much for you to handle, think about shelling out a few thousand dollars for a Real Doll.

You can’t buy love, but you can certainly buy the “object” of your desire.

Visit my page on Facebook.

Check out the latest: Crazy Freaks Club.

© 2011 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

80 Responses to Sex Addiction and Real Dolls

  1. Lotus Flower says:

    LOL, well the need for women will be decreased to simple conception now. Does her mouth get moist during oral? I am sure many men will dismiss her for that alone.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Need the lube on all the holes 🙂

  2. Lotus Flower says:

    Hahahahahha, I just found that hilarious for some reason. Hopefully they will build some with a battery operated tongue so it can have extra sensation (Dang, am I having little mini-daydreams of some sort… these ideas are coming like water right?)

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Just call me the crazy chick planter of freaky ideas …

  3. Lotus Flower says:

    Hey, if the shoe fits my dear… :p

  4. jsh0608 says:

    I saw ‘Sex Addiction’ on TLC and there was a guy who had a sex doll. As a matter of fact it looked like the one in the last picture. I was like OMG really. He would talk to her move her the way he wanted and he was so in love with her. Then he brought up the idea of a threesome. She he brought in this new doll and wanted to see if his ‘wife’ and this new doll would get along and to make sure the ‘wife’ didn’t have any bad feeling. OMG why did I watch it. I HAVE NO IDEA. I couldn’t stop watching. So maybe your friend should invest in one of those dolls for sure.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      lolol I wonder if that episode is online. I’d watch it! Your description intrigues me.

      • jsh0608 says:

        I don’t know it might be. Honestly, I thought the guy was gay.

  5. Aurora says:

    Well, LFR, that was a giggle again. And I have to admit, I can think of at least two guys who could really use them. Probably like the guy mentioned in the show, would fall in love with them. Especially their silence. Ew. Ick. Shudder. You should get sales commissions lol

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      You know I should. I bet I sell those fake women real “good” to horny men who don’t know how to treat a woman right 🙂

  6. Aurora says:

    LMAO You roar, Crazy Chick!

  7. hollyjb says:

    As off as the concept is (to me anyway), I can see where it would be good for not only the emotional state of women who find themselves in bed with a sex addict, but also safe physically. I can’t really imagine what sleeping with a guy like that would be like, but I have to imagine that after a while it would start to hurt…..

    It’s the safest of sex!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Exactly! This is what I’m saying in the post. A sex doll is safe uncomplicated sex …

      • hollyjb says:

        And in that case I think they are a really good idea.

  8. ~~Fabulous Stuff.
    The dolls are like Play Boy Bunnies without the vagina. DO they have vaginas?
    You see, I am quite naive.
    Do they have Boobs?
    My God, I cannot imagine men getting into this…just sticking their thing into plastic.
    YUCKY SHIT>
    Loved this. xxxx

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      They are all anatomically correct! I used a rated-G pic from the manufacturer’s site AND the dolls can come with ELF EARS (yup u read right) and they come in “alien” colors too!!!!!! Tis a mad, mad , mad, weird WORLD 🙂

  9. hahahahahahahahahaha….too freaking funny. Nuff said.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Just the reaction I wanted 🙂

  10. Maxim says:

    You just figured this out!? I am a sex doll pimp, man. I’m not as cool as this guy though…

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      What’s your commission?

  11. Eric says:

    Lol that video – wow! At my age I suppose I would be in the market for a doll with a string attached in the back of her neck simply to pull for some conversation.

    Do they make those? lol. j/k

    On a fair & balanced note, ever heard of persistent sexual arousal syndrome or persistent genital arousal disorder that affects women?

    I stumbled across that today: http://www.foxnews.com/slideshow/health/2010/02/16/oddest-medical-conditions#slide=5

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thanks for sharing the link. I’ll have to check it out. It might explain why I’ve been feeling funny lately.

  12. Kim says:

    I love your pros and cons 😀

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thank you Kim.

  13. Pingback: Sexual Manifesto of a Single Woman « Lafemmeroar

  14. I’m surprised that the realdoll — a device that’s been around for over 10 years — receives waves of interest as if it were a new thing.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      It wasn’t until I did some research that I realized how “anatomically” correct they are. They are true “sex symbols” and “love objects” and I do see their pertinence in a world where sex has been de-emotionalized. I really can’t fathom how the devices are designed … does the company work off of “model” bodies? What I find so amazing is the merchandising. Sci-fi fans can really get a kick out of elf ears or dolls in the “color” of their choice.

  15. Excellent post, as a borderline sex addict I’m kind of disgusted by your friends behavior as I will always act like a gentleman, even if it is no strings attached.

    Check out my blog “diaryofaborderlinesexaddict”

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      It’s nice to know there are gentlemanly players out there. 🙂

  16. yiper says:

    there is also this little film about a guy who makes them http://documentary.net/honey-pie/

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I just watched the short and it’s very interesting. Thanks so much for sharing the doc and for the site. I love watching documentaries so this site will be bookmarked 🙂 Thanks for visiting and I hope you come back soon. 🙂

  17. Sabina Brave says:

    Did you see “Lars and the real girl”? Great movie! About mature man, who falls in love with real doll. She is watching tv with her, talking with her, even taking her out for the parties. The movie really worth seeing 🙂

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I have the DVD! One of my faces 🙂 She even did volunteer work. She did everything she was not MADE TO DO! lol

      • Sabina Brave says:

        So everything is possible ;p All depends on man’s imagination.
        I have also DVD 🙂

  18. LMAO…. 🙂

  19. No alimony or child support and no mother-in-law are also good points. But I can’t stand their “plastic” superficiality.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      You just listed some pretty good pros and cons 🙂

  20. Hilarious.. the pros and cons were the best.
    Isadora

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thanks Isadora 🙂

  21. Becoming Bitter says:

    I’ll be honest. I didn’t laugh, but that’s because of 2 things: 1) A disturbing rape story I’ve recently read about (seriously LRF it’ll make you feel sick to your stomach) and 2) A rape case that happened in my own neighborhood nearly 10 yrs ago.

    I 100% agree with you. These men need to go get themselves a sex doll. Women are not objects made for a man’s amusement. Wow… I’m actually pretty calm. Normally I’m pretty pissed when I think about men like these.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      There are all sort of men in the world. Some are good, kind and thoughtful and some … are abusive monsters. I’m sorry about what happened in your neighborhood. Was the perpetrator caught?

      • Becoming Bitter says:

        It was a gang rape case. The body was thrown near my house.

        • Becoming Bitter says:

          The gang was not caught. Sorry, I forgot to add that up there. I feel kinda disoriented right now. So, you’ll have to excuse my loopy mind.

          • Lafemmeroar says:

            No worries. Again, just be careful ….

        • Lafemmeroar says:

          Oh that is so sad. I’m so sorry to hear that. Please be careful and stay safe when you’re out.

  22. Phil says:

    I wonder, should technology progress to the point where virtual sex with an animatronic doll equals or surpasses the real thing, it may well be the very last invention in the brief history of mankind.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I don’t think anything will ever surpass the real thing … I hope not.

      • Phil says:

        I’m pretty sure it won’t happen anytime soon. Hey! I’m doing my part to make sure it doesn’t happen. (ahem) 🙂

  23. Bodhirose says:

    Did you ever see the show on HBO called “Real Sex”? They had a segment about these dolls that men could purchase–yes those of the gaping mouths. They would tell the manufacturers what color hair, eyes, bosom size, etc. I can’t remember how much they cost but it was in the many thousands of dollars. They also portrayed some of the customers of this “item”–not the most socially adept of our species!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I haven’t seen that episode of the show. I know the real dolls run in the thousands. And you’re right about them not being socially adept …. 🙂

    • I saw that. It was weird to say the least. It’s the gaping mouth that creeps me out.

  24. sami116 says:

    Erm…. that is a bit disturbing.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      It can definitely screw with the noodle … 🙂

  25. Amor24 says:

    Aha! Now I know what to do when my Mrs is PMS-ing. Thank you lafemme. You’re such a life saver! Wait…I don’t have that amount of money to spend on a doll. Oh darn, back to the drawing board! 😦

  26. Well I was really stuck for what to buy my single brother-in-law for Xmas this year and you have only gone and answered my prayers!!!!! Thanks!

    Only problem is I don’t know his type, shall I get him a selection?

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Believe it or not these “real dolls” can have interchangeable faces. If he’s freaky you can even get them with elf ears. True!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the visit potato 🙂

    • Becoming Bitter says:

      Lol Potato! You. are. so… unique.

  27. nicole says:

    because i have no desire for intimacy, perhaps i should start my own Sex Doll business.
    my brain is always entrepreneurially spinning!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Ooohhh you can do one for the female market. OMG what a wonderful idea. Imagine you can make em so their schlongs vibrate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Anne Schilde says:

      Haha I’m sure you could get them to do whatever you want with robotics. I was horrified when I saw this video on PCC’s page the other day, but now I feel a little less threatened.

      • Lafemmeroar says:

        Wow Anne, she looks so realistic!!!!!!!! Thanks for sharing the vid. Now imagine if they can get one to bump and grind … how much would that cost?

        • Anne Schilde says:

          Yeah I almost mentioned that… but I couldn’t decide if it was a Pro or a Con.

      • Becoming Bitter says:

        Holy Mother Of Pearls! That @#$@#$ is creepy…

        Oh BTW, LFR I don’t have a facebook, but I don’t want to get one either. It’s because of a personal issue I’d rather not discuss.

        • Lafemmeroar says:

          No worries. 🙂

        • Anne Schilde says:

          LOL @ “Holy Mother Of Pearls! That @#$@#$ is creepy… ” That was really close to my first reaction. Followed by… @#$@#$!!! We’re all gonna die single!

          • Lafemmeroar says:

            Okay your last comment … is too hilarious!

            • Anne Schilde says:

              Cute! Those little thumbs-up thingies are almost a Like button!

          • Becoming Bitter says:

            No, we’re not gonna die single. The men will die too. Robots can and will take over the world. If you vote for me in the upcoming presidential elections, I promise you Anne that I will do whatever it takes to get an Anti-Robot Girl Bill passed.

            Please support ARGB! Our solution to this potential problem is the use of LFR has mentioned in this post: sex dolls.

            ~Vote for Bitter~

  28. Another “con” would be over-use might blow another hole that would need duct tape and duct tape might be a turn-off. Then again, it might not be… These guys are unpredictable. 😉

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      lol Lorna–you do have a Crazy Chick mind. 🙂

  29. Androgoth says:

    I think that this is taking the ‘Playing With Dollies’
    scenario to the extreme… Now I wonder if there is
    one out there for you girls, maybe it is called Ken?

    Well you never know… lol

    There can be no replacements for a real woman…

    Androgoth Xx

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I agree Androgoth. A real woman would cost too much and very inconvenient for some dudes. I mean a “real doll” would never tell anyone to throw out the trash or pick up their socks. 🙂 You pose a good question. I don’t know if there are any anatomically correct male dolls for chicks. That would be a market ripe with need.

  30. The Hook says:

    Your heart is in the right place, young lady.However, those pictures creep me out!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I tried to find the least creepiest public domain pics 🙂 lol … I think it’s the mouth.

  31. Dave says:

    I’m sure there are a lot of guys out there looking to pick up a real doll for the carpool lane! Good stuff! Hope your friend finds what he’s looking for!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I don’t think he did 😦 You are sooo right about the carpool lane though. You must live in Southern Cali.

  32. I thought of another pro…..even though the dolls are expensive, you just pay for them once and that’s it. A real woman who is forever in your life would end up costing lots more in the long run…OH and you can’t get the doll pregnant! LOL

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      lmao Sharon!!!!! omg pmsl from your comment. But you are soooooooo right! It’s a one time fee for indefinite sex unless you break it 🙂

  33. I know this was a bit tongue in cheeck (I think?), but really sex addicts do treat women like sex dolls. They may as well get one because the women they act out with are nothing more than objects to them.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thank you for your comment beautiful. Us Crazy Chicks need to stick together 🙂

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