Symptoms of Brain Damage

Wikimedia Commons

There are various ways to sustain a brain damage. Hitting the skull on a hard surface is how most people do it. Some just drink and drug it up to oblivion causing their noodle to go stir crazy while others simply go bonkers for no reason at all. This last example is the most life threatening because there is nothing more dangerous than having a damaged brain and still think you’re working with a full deck.  If things seem a bit askew to you lately, then you might be one of those unfortunates.  So as part of my good deed for the week I would like to list the various symptoms one can experience when their noodle turns into scrambled eggs.

You’ve got a warped noodle when you start showing the following symptoms: 

Ego issues: Your alter ego becomes a primary maniac.

Forgetfulness: You start forgetting things you don’t want to remember such as Valentine’s Day, your marital status, your exes birthday and your dental appointment.

You have difficulty processing information: You have a hard time comprehending what the heck that used condom was doing in your boyfriend’s bathroom when you hadn’t had sex in a month.  

Extreme physical fatigue at the thought of having sex with a schlong the size of a crayon.

 

Paralysis: You can’t make a move when it comes to dumping the scum.

Inability to sense time: You think your snooze button gives you an extra two hours of shut eye.

Denial of disability: You are an epileptic on the dance floor but you think you’ve got rhythm.

Loss of consciousness: You zone out the moment you get to work and only become lucid when it’s time for lunch and when it’s time to go home.

Flicker–Kevin Spears

Disorders of smell: You deny your instinct when you smell something fishy going on between your boyfriend and his workout buddy.

Wikimedia Commons–Periquitoloco

 

Slurred speech after happy hour.

 

Increased aggressiveness 3-4 days a month with PMS (Pre Maniac Syndrome).

If you’ve experienced any of the above symptoms see your brain doctor today. If you experience ALL of the above symptoms then your only hope is a brain transplant. Since medical science hasn’t perfected that procedure yet, your best bet is to contact your local cryogenic storage facility and put yourself on stasis. Having yourself cryogenically committed requires your consent and signature; so, hurry while you can still sign your name.

Source: Time Warp Cryogenics.      Saving minds one degree at a time.

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

44 Responses to Symptoms of Brain Damage

  1. Ugly Shoelace says:

    That description fits so many people :P.

    You’re awesome but I have already told you that repeatedly 😀

  2. Funny, clever post. I will go cast my vote. I’m glad you are being recognized for your honor.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Aw thank you Lorna. Crazy Chick Teri of Narcissists Blog nominated me 🙂 I’m having a good week and I love the CCs. Funny and clever coming from you is indeed a compliment as you define those two words so well in every post you publish.

  3. kdaddy23 says:

    I like to say, “If I’m insane, how would I know?” Love this one!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      IF you suffer from any of the symptoms then there is a big chance that I need to create the Crazy Dudes Club and you can be it’s first member 🙂 But you’ll always be crazy good to me 🙂

  4. Whitney Soup says:

    i’m so glad you made this guide! 😉

    loved it!

  5. Bodhirose says:

    I discovered you through reading Lorna’s blog–you both are so entertaining. It’s a pleasure to read you and thanks for the priceless information regarding brain damage!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Hi Bodhirose,

      I’m so glad I can entertain and give you a chuckle or two. I love Lorna’s blog as well. She’s a crazy chick just like me 🙂 I have more priceless blather coming up so stay tuned 🙂

  6. k8edid says:

    I used to be a neuro intensive care nurse – and your assessments are spot on – as usual, educational and delightful.

  7. totsymae1011 says:

    Got rid of the beau friend. I’m working with a full deck now. 🙂

  8. very nice and brainy…. Lafemme…… 🙂

  9. SilentMyth says:

    i suffer from Loss of consciousness:.. lol.. i absolutely love the post.. fits right in .. *Thumbs Up*

  10. Aurora says:

    LMAO right off my chair, you are not just brainy but so edgy funny, I smarten right up every time I read your posts… well, okay, at least for the five minutes immediately following same reading LOL Ahhhh, single life, what chore, what a bore, what a roar. Love your roar 🙂

  11. scrambled7 says:

    This is hilarious!!
    I have serious brain damage here. XD

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      @scrambled7

      You need therapy. Just head on over to the CCC member page. Click any of the blogs and you’ll get the therapy you need 🙂 If not shopping or ice cream gets the brain thinking properly again. Careful it’s only temporary.

  12. kdaddy23 says:

    You know you’ve got it bad when you find out someone’s stopped payment on your reality check…

  13. Dawne Webber says:

    I’m actually liking the sound of cryogenics. Lots of peaceful, relaxing, stress-free sleep.

  14. LOL! I’m fairly sure I used to have brain damage (That’s your sister’s sock? What was she doing in our bed?), but I got better!

  15. The Hook says:

    I’m bookmarking this one!

  16. Bodhirose says:

    Hi Lafemmeroar–I’ve nominated you for the Liebster Award which you can collect at my blog if you wish: http://bodhirose.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/the-liebster-blog-award/

    There is absolutely no obligation to participate if you don’t wish to–it’s purely an acknowledgement by me of your “wonderfulness”!

  17. I’ve definitely been brain damaged since birth!

  18. Needless to say, I cling to the idea that my brain is in full working order despite having experienced a decent helping of concussion and being slightly absent minded !

Talk to me :)

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