Symptoms of Brain Damage
September 29, 2011 44 Comments
There are various ways to sustain a brain damage. Hitting the skull on a hard surface is how most people do it. Some just drink and drug it up to oblivion causing their noodle to go stir crazy while others simply go bonkers for no reason at all. This last example is the most life threatening because there is nothing more dangerous than having a damaged brain and still think you’re working with a full deck. If things seem a bit askew to you lately, then you might be one of those unfortunates. So as part of my good deed for the week I would like to list the various symptoms one can experience when their noodle turns into scrambled eggs.
You’ve got a warped noodle when you start showing the following symptoms:
Ego issues: Your alter ego becomes a primary maniac.
Forgetfulness: You start forgetting things you don’t want to remember such as Valentine’s Day, your marital status, your exes birthday and your dental appointment.
You have difficulty processing information: You have a hard time comprehending what the heck that used condom was doing in your boyfriend’s bathroom when you hadn’t had sex in a month.
Extreme physical fatigue at the thought of having sex with a schlong the size of a crayon.
Paralysis: You can’t make a move when it comes to dumping the scum.
Inability to sense time: You think your snooze button gives you an extra two hours of shut eye.
Denial of disability: You are an epileptic on the dance floor but you think you’ve got rhythm.
Loss of consciousness: You zone out the moment you get to work and only become lucid when it’s time for lunch and when it’s time to go home.
Disorders of smell: You deny your instinct when you smell something fishy going on between your boyfriend and his workout buddy.
Slurred speech after happy hour.
Increased aggressiveness 3-4 days a month with PMS (Pre Maniac Syndrome).
If you’ve experienced any of the above symptoms see your brain doctor today. If you experience ALL of the above symptoms then your only hope is a brain transplant. Since medical science hasn’t perfected that procedure yet, your best bet is to contact your local cryogenic storage facility and put yourself on stasis. Having yourself cryogenically committed requires your consent and signature; so, hurry while you can still sign your name.
Source: Time Warp Cryogenics. Saving minds one degree at a time.
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