Symptoms of Brain Damage
September 29, 2011 44 Comments
There are various ways to sustain a brain damage. Hitting the skull on a hard surface is how most people do it. Some just drink and drug it up to oblivion causing their noodle to go stir crazy while others simply go bonkers for no reason at all. This last example is the most life threatening because there is nothing more dangerous than having a damaged brain and still think you’re working with a full deck. If things seem a bit askew to you lately, then you might be one of those unfortunates. So as part of my good deed for the week I would like to list the various symptoms one can experience when their noodle turns into scrambled eggs.
You’ve got a warped noodle when you start showing the following symptoms:
Ego issues: Your alter ego becomes a primary maniac.
Forgetfulness: You start forgetting things you don’t want to remember such as Valentine’s Day, your marital status, your exes birthday and your dental appointment.
You have difficulty processing information: You have a hard time comprehending what the heck that used condom was doing in your boyfriend’s bathroom when you hadn’t had sex in a month.
Extreme physical fatigue at the thought of having sex with a schlong the size of a crayon.
Paralysis: You can’t make a move when it comes to dumping the scum.
Inability to sense time: You think your snooze button gives you an extra two hours of shut eye.
Denial of disability: You are an epileptic on the dance floor but you think you’ve got rhythm.
Loss of consciousness: You zone out the moment you get to work and only become lucid when it’s time for lunch and when it’s time to go home.
Disorders of smell: You deny your instinct when you smell something fishy going on between your boyfriend and his workout buddy.
Slurred speech after happy hour.
Increased aggressiveness 3-4 days a month with PMS (Pre Maniac Syndrome).

Wikimedia Commons–Lara604–http://www.flickr.com/photos/lara604/2369412952/
If you’ve experienced any of the above symptoms see your brain doctor today. If you experience ALL of the above symptoms then your only hope is a brain transplant. Since medical science hasn’t perfected that procedure yet, your best bet is to contact your local cryogenic storage facility and put yourself on stasis. Having yourself cryogenically committed requires your consent and signature; so, hurry while you can still sign your name.
Source: Time Warp Cryogenics. Saving minds one degree at a time.
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© 2011 Lafemmeroar
That description fits so many people :P.
You’re awesome but I have already told you that repeatedly 😀
@ugly shoelace
I can never get enough of awesome. It’s good for my self-esteem 🙂 Thanks soooo much for making my day!
Funny, clever post. I will go cast my vote. I’m glad you are being recognized for your honor.
Aw thank you Lorna. Crazy Chick Teri of Narcissists Blog nominated me 🙂 I’m having a good week and I love the CCs. Funny and clever coming from you is indeed a compliment as you define those two words so well in every post you publish.
I voted for you!
yay!! Thanks again Lorna you’re an awesome CC 🙂
I like to say, “If I’m insane, how would I know?” Love this one!
IF you suffer from any of the symptoms then there is a big chance that I need to create the Crazy Dudes Club and you can be it’s first member 🙂 But you’ll always be crazy good to me 🙂
i’m so glad you made this guide! 😉
loved it!
Thanks you. It’s part of my public service announcement to those battling with reality 🙂
It’s part of my public service to those battling with reality 🙂
I discovered you through reading Lorna’s blog–you both are so entertaining. It’s a pleasure to read you and thanks for the priceless information regarding brain damage!
Hi Bodhirose,
I’m so glad I can entertain and give you a chuckle or two. I love Lorna’s blog as well. She’s a crazy chick just like me 🙂 I have more priceless blather coming up so stay tuned 🙂
I used to be a neuro intensive care nurse – and your assessments are spot on – as usual, educational and delightful.
Well if my noodle musings can pass your neuro knowledge then I’m satisfied….. 🙂 Ah blogging is so forgiving isn’t it? Thank you sooooo much!
Got rid of the beau friend. I’m working with a full deck now. 🙂
Congrats! No cryogenics for you Totsy. 🙂
very nice and brainy…. Lafemme…… 🙂
I like brainy/ Thank you so much “_
i suffer from Loss of consciousness:.. lol.. i absolutely love the post.. fits right in .. *Thumbs Up*
Thank you. I’ve lost consciousness many times usually after a night of imbibing 🙂
LMAO right off my chair, you are not just brainy but so edgy funny, I smarten right up every time I read your posts… well, okay, at least for the five minutes immediately following same reading LOL Ahhhh, single life, what chore, what a bore, what a roar. Love your roar 🙂
@Aurora
You always make me feel good with your comments 🙂
This is hilarious!!
I have serious brain damage here. XD
@scrambled7
You need therapy. Just head on over to the CCC member page. Click any of the blogs and you’ll get the therapy you need 🙂 If not shopping or ice cream gets the brain thinking properly again. Careful it’s only temporary.
FULL SIZED CRAYON?
@eatwithfatjoe
A crayon is a crayon is a crayon that a woman just can’t feel. 🙂
You know you’ve got it bad when you find out someone’s stopped payment on your reality check…
@kdaddy
lmao … good one 🙂 wish I said it…
I’m actually liking the sound of cryogenics. Lots of peaceful, relaxing, stress-free sleep.
@Dawn
I wouldn’t mind being under freeze 8 hours a day. Perhaps it will slow down the aging process.
I’m all for slowing down the aging process! It will probably save brain cells from aging too.
LOL! I’m fairly sure I used to have brain damage (That’s your sister’s sock? What was she doing in our bed?), but I got better!
@whatasillygirl
There is hope for all of us brain damage forks. I recovered 🙂
Are you certain? You seem to be having a utensil related identity crisis…
@whatasillygirl
lmao you’re soooo right. I meant to say “folks” I’d say Freudian slip, but I’m blaming my keyboard on this one 🙂
I’m bookmarking this one!
Glad you liked it 🙂
Hi Lafemmeroar–I’ve nominated you for the Liebster Award which you can collect at my blog if you wish: http://bodhirose.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/the-liebster-blog-award/
There is absolutely no obligation to participate if you don’t wish to–it’s purely an acknowledgement by me of your “wonderfulness”!
Wow! Thank you soooo much. I’m honored that you thought of me 🙂 And thank you for introducing me to a new word: “wonderfulness” 🙂
I’ve definitely been brain damaged since birth!
Congenital craziness is the best kind! 🙂
Needless to say, I cling to the idea that my brain is in full working order despite having experienced a decent helping of concussion and being slightly absent minded !
I think that’s what makes you an amazing writer! 🙂