Medical terms you won’t find on WebMD

Jerkteria: A micro-organism extremely attracted to cells with low-self esteem.

Venereal Idiocy: A lapse in judgement usually due to extreme horniness.

Superficialism: The addiction to surgical procedures that reverse the sign of aging on the outside without reversing the rot on the inside.

Couchanism: One who is addicted to therapy even though they are beyond treatment.

Bedbugging: The constant poking of the person sleeping next to you to see if they’re awake.

SARS (Singles Addicted to Romantic Silliness): Single chicks who are unable to comprehend that in reality knights in shinning armor are full of rust.

ABC (Alternative Birth Control): The act of simultaneous masturbation in lieu of having sex.

Asstipation: The inability to expel the ass who has been clogging your path to happiness.

Schlongballititis: The engorgement of the schlong and balls to the size and color of an eggplant as a result of an allergic reaction to male enhancement products. (You need a visual on this one.)

Wikimedia Commons–Jason7825

InsoMANia: A disorder that makes it difficult to find a nice man.

Worm Ring: Love bites from a man who acts like a minuscule snake.

Anusology: The branch of medicine dealing in the study of individuals who act like poop chutes.

Exerphobia: The fear of movement especially in the doing of sit-ups, cardio, stretching and other physical activity designed to help one lose weight.

Random schlongorgement: A condition where the penis hardens at random sightings of T n A.

BRA Society (Bad Relationship Addicts Society): A support group created by mental health professionals in partnership with online dating sites to help the lovelorn break the cycle of serial monogamy.

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

36 Responses to Medical terms you won’t find on WebMD

  1. momfog says:

    You should definitely submit these to WebMD. Fortunately, the only one I’m suffering from is Exerphobia.

    Thanks for the Schlongballititis visual. I was a little unclear on that one.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      haha. Good idea on the WebMD submission. It’s about time they expand their glossary of medical terms 🙂

  2. I love these kinds of list, Reading them I must be iller than I thought

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      And I love creating them 🙂

  3. Liked these the most:
    Couchanism: One who is addicted to therapy even though they are beyond treatment.

    Bedbugging: The constant poking of the person sleeping next to you to see if they’re awake.

    you could play love doc on at least a Radio Show!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Oh I do have the face for radio loll 🙂

  4. totsymae1011 says:

    I used to suffer from exerphobia. I don’t know why. 🙂 I think a lot of women have had asstipation before.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I still suffer from exerphobia, but the asstipation … my nether ways are clear …

  5. hahahahaha…thanks for the chuckle 🙂

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Anytime princess 🙂

  6. amor24 says:

    God I’m suffering from asstipation. Unfortunately for me, the ass is my b*s* 😦

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Admittance is part of the recovery process amor 🙂

  7. You got crazy stuff blog. Me mucho like.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      “Mucho like” is good enough for me 🙂 crazy stuff is why I have the Crazy Chicks Club … Thanks for visiting …

  8. Liked the post, it was fun to read.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      And I had fun writing it. I’m glad to share words that don’t exist anywhere else but here 🙂 Thanks again for visiting.

  9. Ugly Shoelace says:

    These ought to be formal medical terms.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I think so too. I need to contact WebMD to see if these terms can become official.

  10. Xehraaa says:

    Hahahhahahhahahhhahhhahhahhhahhahhahhahahahahahahaha. You’re medically devastating-ly humorous. 😀 Asstipation, oh the wisdom.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Glad I made you laugh today. It’s always good to chuckle on Mondays. 🙂

  11. I would love to read your medical chart–but HIPPA prevents me from such an invasion of privacy. If you read mine, you’d find some of these terms in it (or should)–but I’m not telling which ones. 😉

    You are so inventive, laf! 🙂

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thanks Lorna. I work my noodle hard on these posts 🙂

  12. mooselicker says:

    The best part about all of this? For once I wasn’t scared into thinking I had cancer from a little dandruff.

    Where’d you get your medical license from?

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      The University of Loony Bins 🙂

  13. chlongballititis…

    OMG, that is soooooooooooo GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. The doctor is in…..

    😀

  15. I am a farmer….. 🙂

  16. Kim says:

    I definitely have InsoMANia XD
    Great blog entry. So hilarious XD

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thank you Kim 🙂

  17. LMFAO. You crack me up. Thanks, I needed that today! 🙂

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      You’re very welcome.

  18. veehcirra says:

    Just hilarious really liked .

  19. Excuse me while I crawl off the floor and back into my computer chair…I seem to have laughed so hard that I fell out of it! What could that condition be called???? Is it on WebMD? LOL

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      You are suffering from “Chucklititis” … 🙂

  20. BrainRants says:

    Why have I not found your blog until now? I sprayed spit on my screen laughing.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I found you! Glad to make you laugh and make sure you wipe your monitor. 🙂

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