'Twas the Night of My Date--Poetic Revenge

‘Twas the night of my date, when all through the house

I ran like a loon while buttoning my blouse

Tucked in my purse was a condom just in case

We ended the night in amorous embrace 

My doubts I kept hidden and snug in my head 

Be positive said all the books I have read 

I sat and waited for his knock on my door

When no one came knocking my heart fell to the floor

Then I heard the phone ring with “the” dreaded call

It was my date saying he’d had a bad fall

I listened as my noodle started thinking 

That something in his words was surely stinking

So I found his address and there was the show 

He was bumping and grinding my friend the ho!

My heart cried a bit but my noodle plotted 

Behind bushes to prevent being spotted

With my cell phone in hand, I focused and clicked

On their nudity a good angle I picked

Then I ran like a stalker back to my car 

Which thankfully was not parked very far

Lafemme, what are you doing my conscience roared

Oh shut up I said because I have grown bored

With taking the licking from god awful schlongs

Who do not think twice when they’re doing their wrongs

To a woman like me with such pure intent

But now is the time for my anger to vent

Back home I distorted and photoshopped pics

I then turned his big schlong into a small dick

Her tummy morphed to a muffin top belly

While a romance movie played on the teli

I finished my “art” of their intimacy

Then I shared it for all of the world to see 

I posted “it” on his Twitter and Facebook

Blimey had I become an Internet crook?

But nothing is vile in equating the wrongs

Of the misdeeds done by a ho and a schlong

I uploaded and clicked the pics in a jiff

Then I sat back and sipped my apéritif

Let it be said never to vex one like me

My noodle will always find vengeance with glee

Thank you technology my weapon of choice

You’ve given my anger ubiquitous voice

In this adventure is how I got even

With a devious schlong named Richard Stevens

Disclaimer: The above is for entertainment purposes. Lafemmeroar would never take pics of two people bumping uglies with her phone as she does not yet know how to use that bit of technology even though she’s a photoshop expert. And if she did do such a “misdeed” she would do so anonymously–she’s crazy, but she ain’t STUPID.Any similarity to persons (Dick Richard Steven) living or dead is purely coincidental, but if this has happened to you before and you start getting ideas of revenge, Lafemmeroar is NOT to be held liable or responsible for any consequences, injuries, fatalities OR EMBARRASSMENTS that may occur in the enactment of the above post.

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar