Trash Talk in Relationships
November 1, 2011 69 Comments
Setting: Her apartment.
Time: The first date.
Him: Wow. You look great.
Her: Thanks. Give me a sec. I just need to throw out the trash then we can go.
Him: I’ll do that.
Her: Really? Are you sure?
Him: I don’t mind.
Her: How sweet.
Setting: The kitchen of their apartment
She’s making breakfast and he’s reading the papers.
Her: Do you smell something funny?
Him: No. Just your cooking.
Her: I think it’s the trash. Did you throw it out?
Him: (sighs) I forgot. (mumbles to himself) Why can’t she do it once in a while.
She: What did you say?
Him: Nothing honey.
She walks to the table and looks at him.
Him: (He knows he’s not getting any food until the trash is out.) Alright, I’ll do it now.
Setting: Their house
Him: What’s for dinner?
Him: By the way, did you do my laundry?
Her: Yes. Did you take out the trash?
Him: I’ll do it after dinner.
Her: I got your laundry done before dinner. Why can’t you do the same?
Him: Well what?
Her: Trash now!
HIm: (Gives her a nasty look) Food now.
Her: (Pouts) After you throw out the trash.
Him: Like I said, I’ll do it after dinner.
Her: Well you’re not getting your dinner until the trash is out.
Him: I want my meatloaf now-bitch!
Her: You want your meatloaf? (She goes to the kitchen. Brings out the meatloaf.) You want this?
Him: Yeah I want it now.
Her: You got it. (Goes back in the kitchen and dumps the meatloaf in the trash.) Come and get it!!!
Setting: Lawyer’s office
Time: Doom’s day
Her: You lazy no good failure.
Him: You nagging shrew.
Her: I can’t wait to get rid of you and get a real man.
Him: A real man wouldn’t want you–you ice bitch.
Her: I’m keeping the house.
Him: Step one foot in there and I’ll throw you out.
Her: Step one foot in MY house and I’ll have the cops throw YOU out.
Him: I should have left you a long time ago.
Her: You earth worm.
He grabs her neck. She bitch slaps him. They’re rolling on the floor.
(Lawyer calls security.)
Lawyer: Yes, I need a couple of clients thrown out please.
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