What Does a Man Want?

What Does a Woman Want? was one of my most commented posts and it showed my contradictory nature. The post in a way posed more questions than it did answers to the desire of women. I realized that life is too ironic …

Now my noodle is ticking on the thoughts of what a man wants.

Even though I lack the genitals to answer this question I will still attempt to do so because I feel like gender bending today.

a man wants:

to bang as many chicks as he can before settling down– what happens if his schlong does decide to settle down because it’s all “banged out”?

wants to be worshiped and adored–what if his worshippers are all stalkers and loons?

to date really cheap hos–is it because hos charge by the hour?

to be a stud/sex machine–does this mean he’s hung like a horse but should be kept in a girl’s goodie drawer?

his woman to love giving blow jobs–but what if she begins to spread the love to other schlongs? 

to experience a threesome at least once–would he mind if the third is another dude who wants to poke him?

his woman to tell him what she wants–what if she wants him to go out with the trash? 

to know when his woman is having an orgasm–how can he tell if she’s faking it?

to have children–but will he change diapers and wipe snotty noses with the same enthusiasm he had during the procreation process?

to be a success in what he loves to do–what if all he loves is to scratch his balls and drink beer? 

wants to make “you” laugh–what if you only laugh at the size of his schlong?

his schlong to be as dexterous as his tongue–what happens if his schlong develops taste buds during anal sex?

to explore his “feminine side”–does this include heels, bras and tampons? 

to be the biggest “dick” in the room–how will he know unless he’s an exhibitionist? 

to watch ESPN 24/7–does this mean that he’s watching baseball while he’s “balling”? 

anal sex more than once a year (on their birthday)–but what if he’s the one getting poked in the rear?

his couch to have a built-in massager–is it because he likes his balls jiggled?

to be the “protector”–what if the only one he wants to protect is himself?

to rule the world–what kind of world would he rule?

peace and quiet–does this mean he’s going to be alone the rest of his life?

to be the king of his castle–what will he do when a femme wants to usurp his throne? 

to be best friends with the object of his affection–but what if the object of his affection is a sex doll?

What do you think a man wants?

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar