How Sex Can Ruin You
December 2, 2011 87 Comments
We all want it. Even when we don’t have anyone to do it with we want it even more. Yes … SEX … that yearning … that itch that needs to be scratched.
That old adage that masturbation is sex with someone “I” love is true. I love me, but sometimes I want someone (that doesn’t require batteries) to “love” me. But I’m not the casual sex type even though my noodle has truly freaky sexy scenarios going on 24/7. But fantasy only goes so far. Even real vanilla sex is more scintillating than the imagined kind.
But I do have a problem. I”m a ruminator when it comes to doing the “good deed.” I think about it so much that I talk myself out of it.
I think about how casual sex has ruined (permanently or temporarily) the lives of people I know. I’ve heard of fools for love, but what about fools for sex?
I mean imagine this dudes and femmes:
♦ Get into the wrong chick and you can have a “chickastalkarazzi” on your hands.
♦ The morning after can turn into a horror show when you wake up next to someone who looks like a chupacabra. The truth of the morning light can turn a night of bliss into a morning of head scratching as you think to yourself “did I actually exchange bodily fluids with that?”
♦ A rogue sperm can turn you into a regretful daddy. Say goodbye to disposable income and say hello to child support.
♦ Shotgun weddings still happen somewhere out there in the backwoods … Is a shaky “I do” is better than a shot to the head?
♦ There’s angry sex and there’s revenge sex. Revenge sex is when the wronged party cuts out your schlong after you’ve given her a happy ending.
♦ Have sex with an exhibitionist and find your “amateur amorous” coupling online. You’ve become an internet amateur porn star.
♦ Love bites are fine, but what do you do when that crabby itch between your legs lingers long after your lover has gone?
♦ What happens when the stud at the bar is actually a “premie” in the sack?
♦ What do you do when the person you picked up at that bar asks you to pay for your happy ending?
♦ What do you do when you’ve suddenly changed your mind after you’ve taken off your clothes?
Am I too paranoid? Has any of the above happened to you or anyone you know? I need answers … Talk to me :)
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