Schlongisms #1

When your pecker gets a woody

for another Chick

remember that “your CHICK” just might discipline

you with a pecker-whacker … so reign in

that naughty schlong with an ice bath.


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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

29 Responses to Schlongisms #1

  1. That would not be fun, we would need twizzers to find it 😆

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      lol Harry …

  2. I have experimented in the forest. Splinters are a drag.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Those splinters give a mean itch don’t they? 🙂

  3. kdaddy23 says:

    Wow, that’s kinda harsh for a natural reaction, ain’t it? You make me very afraid to ever meet you, Lafemme without full body armor and extra protection for my schlong! This is funny… but you really might not want to ever do this to your man’s schlong – go look up thermal shock and what it can do; you can make his woody go away… and you might make him go away, too.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Ok Kdaddy I’m a sweetie in person … despite my schlongisms 🙂 Past schlong’s in my life have always been “well tended” 🙂

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Yeah, I know… but, jeez, whenever I read your blog, it makes me want to wear a cup!

        • Lafemmeroar says:

          I have a dangerously sick noodle … 🙂

  4. Anne Schilde says:

    Image link didn’t work, sorry. 😦

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      lmao … I guess it’s for schlong sausages? 🙂

  5. Amor24 says:

    OUCH!!! Whenever I hear a wacker, I’m gonna remember this post and hold my schlong 🙂 You are EVIL 🙂 (I don’t even know why I’m smiling…lol)

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Alan said the same thing about me on FB or something close to it. I’m not evil … I’m very evil 🙂 but I’m also a devilish angel 🙂

  6. veehcirra says:

    LOL nice one!!

  7. Patti Kuche says:

    And we thought we had it tough with the burdens we carry around on our shoulders!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      lol Patti! We have our burdens, but so do the opposite sex … it’s an equal opportunity buden world …

      • Your burdens are under your chin, ours are in our trousers 😆

        • Lafemmeroar says:

          I couldn’t have said it any better … 🙂

  8. Jason says:

    I think I’m going to pass on the ice bath. I normally don’t bathe my schlong as it is.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      No ice bath but how do you clean it? 🙂

  9. This entire post shouted CODPIECE to me. A fur-lined one, of course!! LOL Amy

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Amy your noodle is wonderfully twisted 🙂

  10. deDeurs says:

    The schlong is the most ridiculous and ugly physicality ever designed. I’m certain that the almighty creator doesn’t have one Himself and just decided on a wild ‘experiment’.
    The woody is even SCARY. As if it’s not enough, men like to show the woody with nothing but a pair of black socks on. It’s a miracle women get pregnant. In consent.
    Men also refuse to trim the foliage around the woody. ‘That’s unmanly’, they say (in their deepest voice). It’s obvious they never polish the woody themselves. They would cut and hack and mow daily.
    Come to think of it: women smooth their arm pits. Why don’t men? When they put their arms up, some of them show something that resembles the pits of hell.
    Come to think of it: some bums and bellies…no, let’s leave it at that.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      lol deDeurs … how ugly is a schlong can be the title of a post … have you inspired me? My noodle is ticking … stay tuned to find out “_

  11. deDeurs says:

    ‘Noodle’…that’s lightyears away from the Woody. Don’t ever tell a man that he has a Noodle. He likes to pretend he has a woody 24 hours a day. Noodles he only suffers during the first ten years of his life and after he died.
    For those who think I am some angry lesbian: I’m a h.s. male, lol.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Noodle = Brain

      Limp Noodle = Limp Schlong

  12. deDeurs says:

    Unrisen pasta dough, thus.
    I thought the expression for limp brains was ‘mush’?

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Pasta dough doesn’t rise and in Lafemme Land the term for limp brain is scrambled noodle 🙂 Luv your comments 🙂

  13. deDeurs says:

    I’m the limpest cook on this planet.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Cook or cock? I’m sure it’ll harden up with the right inducement 🙂

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