Schlongisms #1
December 16, 2011 29 Comments
When your pecker gets a woody
for another Chick
remember that “your CHICK” just might discipline
you with a pecker-whacker … so reign in
that naughty schlong with an ice bath.
IT’S A SAFER CHOICE
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© 2011 Lafemmeroar
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That would not be fun, we would need twizzers to find it 😆
lol Harry …
I have experimented in the forest. Splinters are a drag.
Those splinters give a mean itch don’t they? 🙂
Wow, that’s kinda harsh for a natural reaction, ain’t it? You make me very afraid to ever meet you, Lafemme without full body armor and extra protection for my schlong! This is funny… but you really might not want to ever do this to your man’s schlong – go look up thermal shock and what it can do; you can make his woody go away… and you might make him go away, too.
Ok Kdaddy I’m a sweetie in person … despite my schlongisms 🙂 Past schlong’s in my life have always been “well tended” 🙂
Yeah, I know… but, jeez, whenever I read your blog, it makes me want to wear a cup!
I have a dangerously sick noodle … 🙂
Image link didn’t work, sorry. 😦
lmao … I guess it’s for schlong sausages? 🙂
OUCH!!! Whenever I hear a wacker, I’m gonna remember this post and hold my schlong 🙂 You are EVIL 🙂 (I don’t even know why I’m smiling…lol)
Alan said the same thing about me on FB or something close to it. I’m not evil … I’m very evil 🙂 but I’m also a devilish angel 🙂
LOL nice one!!
And we thought we had it tough with the burdens we carry around on our shoulders!
lol Patti! We have our burdens, but so do the opposite sex … it’s an equal opportunity buden world …
Your burdens are under your chin, ours are in our trousers 😆
I couldn’t have said it any better … 🙂
I think I’m going to pass on the ice bath. I normally don’t bathe my schlong as it is.
No ice bath but how do you clean it? 🙂
This entire post shouted CODPIECE to me. A fur-lined one, of course!! LOL Amy
Amy your noodle is wonderfully twisted 🙂
The schlong is the most ridiculous and ugly physicality ever designed. I’m certain that the almighty creator doesn’t have one Himself and just decided on a wild ‘experiment’.
The woody is even SCARY. As if it’s not enough, men like to show the woody with nothing but a pair of black socks on. It’s a miracle women get pregnant. In consent.
Men also refuse to trim the foliage around the woody. ‘That’s unmanly’, they say (in their deepest voice). It’s obvious they never polish the woody themselves. They would cut and hack and mow daily.
Come to think of it: women smooth their arm pits. Why don’t men? When they put their arms up, some of them show something that resembles the pits of hell.
Come to think of it: some bums and bellies…no, let’s leave it at that.
lol deDeurs … how ugly is a schlong can be the title of a post … have you inspired me? My noodle is ticking … stay tuned to find out “_
‘Noodle’…that’s lightyears away from the Woody. Don’t ever tell a man that he has a Noodle. He likes to pretend he has a woody 24 hours a day. Noodles he only suffers during the first ten years of his life and after he died.
For those who think I am some angry lesbian: I’m a h.s. male, lol.
Noodle = Brain
Limp Noodle = Limp Schlong
Unrisen pasta dough, thus.
I thought the expression for limp brains was ‘mush’?
Pasta dough doesn’t rise and in Lafemme Land the term for limp brain is scrambled noodle 🙂 Luv your comments 🙂
LOL.
I’m the limpest cook on this planet.
Cook or cock? I’m sure it’ll harden up with the right inducement 🙂