Rhyme and Reason of Divorce

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Let us make a pact and call it quits

These last days of turmoil has sent me into fits

With screaming and crying and stomping my feet

It’s no wonder that I’ve stayed up nights without any sleep

While you map out a life exciting and new

I am burdened with the past and happy memories are few

BUT WHEN you made the mistake of straying from me

Your betrayal comes with a hefty fee

For mother nature takes my side of the feud

She understands justice for the liar and the lewd

When you’re feeling amorous with your new chickadee

You’re schlong will feel like taking a pee

When you kiss the sweet cheeks of your new fling

Your lips will burn with the bite of a bee sting

When you spend your money

On your new honey

You’ll see the loss of each dollar spent

Downtrodden and broke you’ll sleep in a tent

While I recover on my soft warm bed

No longer wishing you were dead

Tis not of sorrow my tears are falling down

But of happiness that everyone will see your frown

When you realize that you’ve been made a BIG STUPID CLOWN

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

45 Responses to Rhyme and Reason of Divorce

  1. I read this on twitter and thought it was brilliant.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thank you Harry 🙂 I must say that your poems are as well 🙂

  2. Perfect, poetic revenge. Loved it!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Hi Diana … I’ve been thinking that I need analysis on why I do these revenge posts so “well” 🙂

  3. magsx2 says:

    Hi,
    I loved it, well done. 😀

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Glad you liked it Mags 🙂

  4. mm172001 says:

    Another good laugh

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thanks … I aim for chuckles 🙂

  5. lorrelee1970 says:

    What a beautiful “fuck you” poem. Kudos to you. Loved it.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Oh I never thought about the “F” word, but you are absolutely right 🙂 hehehehe thanks again for clicking on my blog Lorrelee 🙂

  6. Amor24 says:

    When you feel amorous … are you talking about me Lafemme 😦 Brilliant rhyme but I’m still hurt 😦

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      It’s a secret as to what I truly do when feeling amorous 🙂

  7. I LOVE it! SO just …great! I’m +1 ing it! YOu rock the revengedness !! 😡

    • oops 😳 you don’t have one of those….well I would lol

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I know and it’s very disturbing that I rock that particular genre isn’t it? 🙂

  8. Good ole Karma. This poem is wonderful and doesn’t feel forced. You’re pretty talented Ms. LaFemme!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Oh thank you Future!!!! Your comment has made my upcoming weekend! 🙂 Ah you’ve given me inspiration to keep on with my book 🙂

  9. Patti Kuche says:

    Wise words for the wicked and all with a wonderful flow!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thank you very much Patti … even my noodle can summon up some rhyming flow here and there 🙂

  10. –Revenge,( Sometimes), Is oh-so- Sweet.
    Xx

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Sweeter than honey, more delicious than cream cakes 🙂 and not fattening in the least 🙂

  11. Cinnamon says:

    Great poem. I’m waiting to see the poem that only you will be able to comprise. One using the words orange and purple.

    ta ta for now my darling !!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      You’re on Cinnamon!!!!!! Watch out for the post 🙂

  12. veehcirra says:

    This is excellent girl. The best way to get revenge is to live well 😉

  13. Androgoth says:

    I like this one a lot my wicked friend
    and thank you for adding such a great
    poem with plenty of action within its
    lines… Now what was it that you said? 🙂

    ‘When you’re feeling amorous with your
    new chickadee, your schlong will feel like
    taking a pee’ 🙂 lol that is truly wicked…

    Have a great rest of weekend now 🙂

    Androgoth Xx

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Hi Andro … expect more rhyming wackiness. Cinnamon has challenged me to pen a poem using the words Orange and Purple … I love being called wicked! 🙂 Have a wonderful Sunday.

  14. Wow beautiful poem! This will surely lift up the mood of broken hearts 🙂 love it! I gave you the candle lighter award: http://evilnymphstuff.wordpress.com/2012/01/08/candle-lighter-award/
    congrats!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I’ve never had one of those thank you so much evil 🙂

  15. renxkyoko says:

    Ah ! I love this !

    I agree wholeheartedly ! ! ! Short of saying ” Burn in hell” and wishing the guy ill will, anything bad that happens to the frivolous, flirty guy is sweet justice !

    And this is the reason why women should be very independent, and stand on their own two feet, and not depend on men financially and emotionally.

    And never let go of physical appearance ! ! Junk the chips ! More often than not, that’s the reason why stupid men leave. they always go for the sexy one, especially if the wife’s turned into a 200 pounder. It’s sad, but that’s reality.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thanks for liking it Ren, but I’ve known a guy who went for a bigger chick versus his skinny wife … life is complex one never knows how the other will go. As for me I haven’t had chips in a while, but I have discovered kale chips and this seaweed thing that’s crunchy … See ya around Crazy Chick 🙂

  16. brilliant.
    . . .
    and i’d add
    . . .
    “and i can eat ALONE, with my dog!”
    bahahahaha!

    adore you! 🙂 x

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Good addition Nicole 🙂

  17. SilentMyth says:

    That is Wicked awesome..

  18. Phil says:

    No one says, “Fuck You! And… well… strongly worded letter to follow!” quite like you do Lafemme. 😀

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I try Phil to put my own spin on things 🙂

  19. The Hook says:

    Wow!
    Wickedly dark, awesome post!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      My fav phrase “wickedly dark” … thanks again Hook 🙂

  20. Where was this poem several years ago when I broke up with the world’s biggest douchenozzle? This was everything I was thinking and feeling put into a few simple lines.

    And guess what? He’s an even bigger clown now than he was then.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I’m glad to know that you were able to identify with the poem. I often wonder if my noodle is in alignment with reality … just sorry about the clown … but maybe he’s down 6ft under?

  21. This is great! If you get a chance check our my poem…Happy Holidays! Written with a similar sentiment. Living well is ALWAYS the best revenge:).

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I McKenzie … nice to see your comment on my blog and please leave a link to your poem 🙂

  22. Eric says:

    SIMPLER LOVE

    I don’t believe love’s heaven-sent,
    Nor bent from inner mystery,
    And I would rather dwell in tent
    Than live with Mrs. Misery.
    But if I camp in such a huddle,
    I can live with just one cuddle
    Of simpler love, alive and free.

    E

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      This one speaks to me Eric. Sorry it took so long to respond. I’ve been lax and now I’m back 🙂

      • Eric says:

        Bout time!

        • Lafemmeroar says:

          I know… I might disappear sometimes, but I always come back 🙂

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