Lies, lies, lies …

The best and the smartest have been victims of duplicity.

There are real good liars out there …

and there are some real good believers of lies.

It happens to the BEST and to the WORST of us.

Here are some example of how to detect when someone is “Pinocchionizing” you:

If you’re on a date with a guy who just can’t stop talking about how much he makes, how much he has and how much he spends, and when the bill comes you end up going DUTCH, then he’s a broke schlong. The wealthy never talk about money or brag about it.

If your friend can’t stop talking about her perfect marriage and her perfect kids, then she’s incorporating a bunch of fantasies with her reality. Just think of her as the  the LLC (Lotsa Lies Chick) and let her keep on keeping on with her fantasies. In crazy chick world … perfection is a big time LIE.

When you see that 2000 calorie dessert and say to yourself “I’ll eat it now and exercise it off later,” then you need a reality check. Chances are that all that sugar will go to your hips and thighs while you’re on the couch flirting with the clicker or in bed by yourself in a snoozefest. How do I know? Personal experience of course … it’s the sugar high on the scale affliction. You can lie to yourself, but the numbers on the scale never do.

If your boss from hell tells you that it’s a bonus for you to lead from behind, all that means is that he will steal your ideas and get a promotion while you continue to haul ass for another boss from hell. That boss is what I call an FLFM “Fake and Lazy Front Man.”

If a chick constantly “boo hoos” about how much she’s been victimized by men and she manipulates you into giving her a pity party, chances are that she’s an attention hound and the only way she knows how to get it is by playing the victim card. She’s a  PMSS CHICK (Pity My Sob Story Chick).

If your current object of affection constantly praises you and makes you promises of gold, keep a deaf ear and a sharp eye. Words are cheap; action is priceless. He’s what I call a FSTS “Fake Silver Tongued Schlong.” Observe what he does and what he says. And if he continues with his fake promises, then give him one of your own; promise him that if his words don’t match his actions then your cast iron pan will meet his schlong with a good whack. Schlong pancake anyone?

Here’s a song for all of the liars out there and for the believers of lies:

Get the CCC Badge

Join the Crazy Chicks Club

Join the Crazy Freaks Club

Join the B.A.D Club

© 2011 Lafemmeroar