New Invention for Men and Their Schlongs

A product called Schlong Again aka “Penilitusmonami” is now rampant on the market without FDA approval! Invented by Dr. John Boy Penisless, Schlong Glue does as the name suggests … it glues back the schlongs of men whose tools of love have been “Lorena Bobbitted.”

Next time you see a new Schlong, check if it’s been previously dismembered by doing one of these 3 things:

1. Check for the “re-attachment line.” Depending on where the schlong was hacked off determines the line. Some women get a good grip and hack it off right near the genital sack and some in a fit of frenzy are only able to grab the itty bitty head. If a man tells you it’s a tan line … DON’T BELIEVE HIM! Lying like that is probably how he got “schlonged off” in the first place. Schlong Glue will not work on schlongs that have been hacked off by teeth as “it would be like gluing a puzzle together with ragged edges,” states Willy Nilly who unsuccessfully tried to glue his back after his girlfriend chewed his off with her teeth (dentures).

2. Give the Schlong a strong pull. If it pulls away like string cheese, then you’ll know it’s made with Schlong Again. But don’t worry as the glue is resilient and very strong. One can pull the schlong to kingdom come and it ain’t gonna go anywhere. Some men have tried to use Schlong Again to make more of their shortcomings, but efforts have been unsuccessful.

3. The most effective way to know if a man has been “Schlong Glued” is to simply do this: Show him a sausage, then either bite it or cut it with a knife. If he grimaces, screams and runs for his life, then you know he’s been schlong glued and it is now up to you to decide if you want to bump uglies with his “Schlong Again” Schlong.

Next time you want a piece of schlong ask yourself … Is it a schlong or a “Franken-schlong”?

Would you date a guy who has been “Schlonged Again”? Leave a comment …

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

20 Responses to New Invention for Men and Their Schlongs

  1. I know some one who deserves to have his schlong chopped off but I wouldn’t let him have it back. He could just remain schlongless, he was a waste of a perfectly good schlong I’d give it to some under privileged guy who would know how to please a woman with it.

  2. This is cheering. I gained the impression that you were not blogging anymore. I’ve no idea how unitl I came across a comment you had made on someone else’s, Blog. she’s called “Writestoescape” or something very like that. anyway. I’m delighted. I was so delighted that I started commenting without reading the above post. I will rectify that ommision now. Great to see you

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Aw Counting what you said is soooooo sweet! I’ve been busy with other things, and hadn’t made time for posts, but truly it is comments like yours that will always keep me blogging no matter how long I might take a break here and there. You have truly made my day! 🙂

  3. La La says:

    Hahaha this is awesome.

  4. I love your twisted mind 🙂

  5. frigginloon says:

    Well, here’s the pot calling the kettle, La Femme. I think we are even in finding the most “interesting” quirks of human nature don’t you think 😉

  6. Tony McGurk says:

    The thought of being de-schlonged is eyewatering to say the least

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