New Invention for Men and Their Schlongs
October 24, 2012 20 Comments
A product called Schlong Again aka “Penilitusmonami” is now rampant on the market without FDA approval! Invented by Dr. John Boy Penisless, Schlong Glue does as the name suggests … it glues back the schlongs of men whose tools of love have been “Lorena Bobbitted.”
Next time you see a new Schlong, check if it’s been previously dismembered by doing one of these 3 things:
1. Check for the “re-attachment line.” Depending on where the schlong was hacked off determines the line. Some women get a good grip and hack it off right near the genital sack and some in a fit of frenzy are only able to grab the itty bitty head. If a man tells you it’s a tan line … DON’T BELIEVE HIM! Lying like that is probably how he got “schlonged off” in the first place. Schlong Glue will not work on schlongs that have been hacked off by teeth as “it would be like gluing a puzzle together with ragged edges,” states Willy Nilly who unsuccessfully tried to glue his back after his girlfriend chewed his off with her teeth (dentures).
2. Give the Schlong a strong pull. If it pulls away like string cheese, then you’ll know it’s made with Schlong Again. But don’t worry as the glue is resilient and very strong. One can pull the schlong to kingdom come and it ain’t gonna go anywhere. Some men have tried to use Schlong Again to make more of their shortcomings, but efforts have been unsuccessful.
3. The most effective way to know if a man has been “Schlong Glued” is to simply do this: Show him a sausage, then either bite it or cut it with a knife. If he grimaces, screams and runs for his life, then you know he’s been schlong glued and it is now up to you to decide if you want to bump uglies with his “Schlong Again” Schlong.
Next time you want a piece of schlong ask yourself … Is it a schlong or a “Franken-schlong”?
Would you date a guy who has been “Schlonged Again”? Leave a comment …
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