A Crazy Chick’s Version of a Perfect World

In my perfect world:

the more you eat the less you’ll weigh the drive-thru lane always gets your order right there are no cosmetic surgeons because wrinkles don’t exist children are happy, loved, nurtured and educated soldiers will carry tambourines and daisies instead of guns and bombs politicians will think about the people instead of the next election I can have an orgasm just by thinking about it and it will last for as long as I want it to … Lady Gaga looks human and not like an alien there will be no dead beat dads there are no death and taxes everyone can do cartwheels it will be confirmed that Marilyn Manson is a hermaphrodite everyone is beautiful in their own special way everyone can afford designer shoes and handbags guys who cheat will never get an erection ever again … ever … ever … NEVER dishes wash themselves poop doesn’t stink brussel sprouts will taste like bon bons cell phones will automatically shut themselves off in a movie theater tweens will read more and text less cars won’t start when a drunk is behind the wheel there is more leg room when flying coach all public toilets are immaculately clean chocolate is calorie free men and women will finally truly understand each other all liars will lose their tongue no one will ever get constipated there is no injustice, but there is poetic justice Cancer will only be an astrological sign and not a disease people who stick their foot in their mouth will actually know what toe jam tastes like eating cakes and pies will be as healthy as eating a salad every office slave gets a two-hour lunch break there is no such thing as rush hour traffic no knows about the Kardashians The Beatles are back together again we know who killed JFK all my blog friends will get Freshly Pressed

… and even if these things don’t happen It’s Still a Wonderful World … here’s a little Joey Ramone for all you peeps out there who believe in looking at the bright side of life …

What’s your idea of a perfect world?

Get theΒ CCC Badge Join theΒ Crazy Chicks Club. Β© 2011 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

21 Responses to A Crazy Chick’s Version of a Perfect World

  1. Aurora HSP says:

    I vote you for president! lol πŸ™‚

  2. Anything’s possible. Except the politicians one.

  3. Sounds like heaven..on earth.. πŸ™‚ donuts.. donuts- but that;s the only thing I would add… lots of them.. so I am going to or tried to – will – wanted to.. all of th above share this but I am having issues with forgetting my passwords.. new puter and it wants me to sign into everything… just saying cause I really wanted to and once I remember what I forgot I will … ::-)

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Aw thanks Lizzie! At the moment I’m really into vegan chocolate cupcakes. I made over a dozen then froze them!!!!! I can have a semi-guilt free treat come Halloween. It will help me stay off those damn Snickers bars …

      • oh snickers.. yes I have a weakness for those.. and milky ways and whoppers and … I have a horrific sweet tooth (like you didn;t pick up on the πŸ˜‰ )

        Is vegan – like vegatable oil and what do you use in the place of eggs? its nothing from animal products right? I wish I knew how to make those cake pops from Startbucks tht are so ooey and gooey inside – i thought of them when you said vegan chocolate cupcakes..is that weird?

        • Lafemmeroar says:

          I”m not 100% vegan, but I don’t eat eggs or dairy anymore. I’ll still chew on an occasional chicken leg but that’s about it. No turkey butt for me this year though.

          Vegan is someone who doesn’t eat anything that’s walked, crawled, swam or flown. Some don’t even do “leather”. I’ve never had the cake pops from Starbucks … I don’t even think I’ve seen it. But there is a standard recipe for vegan chocolate cupcakes online so I used that but changed it around a bit I use a secret ingredient in mine πŸ™‚

  4. Perfect? Meh. I find that the really juicy stuff of life is in our imperfections. Yeah, some things are annoying, but, oh, when those things stop–bliss! And the only way to feel that bliss is to have the annoyance in the first place.

    I know this is probably WAY TOO serious a response for this funny post, but that’s what came to this Crazy Chick’s mind… πŸ™‚

  5. I LOVE love love your world!

    Except for the Lady Gaga thing. I kinda dig her. Xxx

  6. Great minds think alike. We must be crazy chicks too, because your world pretty much rocks our socks off! If we could only add one more thing: Reality shows are officially banned from television.

  7. Well done. Love you list.

    I woul like to add, no more name combo’s like Brajelina and the Kardashians become the first family to live on Mars.

  8. Great Post! I would love to imagine soldiers as wandering minstrels of good tidings, and also I would like a pill to help me forget the Kardashians.

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