How Men Can Escape the Relationship Trap

I’ve given many Crazy Chicks tips on how to laugh at the chaos, but now is the time to write a post dedicated to all the men out there.

Here are some tips on how to get out of sticky situations when it comes to the opposite sex. 

Next time a chick you’ve had sex with approaches you and you just can’t remember her name tell her that you suffer from “Name-nesia“ the inability to remember names. Tell her that constant physical intimacy is part of the cure and you’re looking for a volunteer.

When you’re out on a date and want to weasel out of the check, just tell your date that you have “Nomullah“ disease, which is the condition of never having any money. A chick with a heart of gold would be more than happy to throw down some dough for that steak dinner that helped cure your “Hungertitis.”

If your girlfriend gives you an ultimatum about commitment, tell her that you have “RPS” (Relationship Palpitation Syndrome), a condition that gives you heart pains when you hear the words: commitment, relationship, monogamy, marriage, exclusivity and etc. The only cure for this ailment is patience and understanding on her part, lots of sex with other women and“threesomes.”

If she keeps on insisting that it’s time for you to meet her parents, tell her that you suffer from “Parentaleptic” disease. You have convulsions when you see moms and pops. Tell her that your treatment process requires that you be at least five miles from her folks.

If you want an excuse for having a small schlong tell her that you have a genetic anomaly called “Schlong-a-rater“ disease. Your schlong grows equal to the hotness level of a chick. So when she sees your three incher it’s not you it’s HER!

P.S. If any of the above tips work on a chick, then hang on to her because she’s a rarity.  

Note: Crazy Chicks are immune to these tips because they’re too smart, savvy and sophisticated. Do not make the mistake of using these tips on a Crazy Chick as you just might end up becoming a human burrito.

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© 2011 Lafemmeroar