Online Dating Misadventures Part 1

An old post for my new readers … 

Years ago I subscribed to an online dating site called e-Harmony. I answered their lengthy questionnaire and I received two matches of men whose profiles depicted them to be bitter and angry about the world and relationships. Did my matches from eHarmony want a woman or a punching bag? Was it me? Did my responses  (oh I don’t know) suggest that I’m a good match for such men? Did I not have what other (sane, un-angry) men were looking for?

These questions plagued my mind before I concluded that it was not me but e-Harmony’s 29 Dimensions of Compatibility that was contradictory with my required “crazy chick 69 dimensions of compatibility.” I ended my subscription–perhaps prematurely. And as I watched eHarmony commercials of happy couples I thought that had I not ended my subscription I could be smiling and hugging my man while we danced to “This Will Be” by Natalie Cole.

Then, my friend told me about another dating site called The site performed “Criminal Screenings for Felonies” and “Single Certification.” In other words, checks to make sure that your date wasn’t some prison inmate’s married love-buddy. That didn’t sound very attractive to me. It’s like testing a yummy piece of cake for poison before eating it. I’m not that cynical. I believe in humanity. And the idea of background checks seemed pragmatic, but very unromantic. My friend did go on a bunch of dates with some “True guys” and two of them turned out to be married and one had a criminal record. She found out by doing her “own” background check. I told her she should have asked True for a refund.

A 2010 article from the American Sociological Association claimed that people with internet access have a greater chance of finding relationships in comparison to people who didn’t have internet access. The influx of dating and social networking sites make it easier and faster for people to connect. Instead of singles bars there are singles sites. You can get to know your potential date digitally before you meet him in the flesh. But this is exactly what I did with eHarmony and I got nothing but “two angry men.” Were my chances better in 2011 to find true love? Could eHarmony have improved their mad math skills in computing love matches?

I needed to re-immerse myself in the digital dating world. Maybe I need to scour pictures of available men online instead of reading articles from “The New Yorker.” Maybe I need to chunk some dough into another dating site instead of spending my money shoe shopping at

I wanted to chat face to face instead of messaging. I wanted to laugh and not type lol, lmao or brb (when I needed a bathroom break). My enthusiasm got ahead of me. I needed to take a step back.  I’d get to know the schlongs men first online, then on to phase two with the flesh and bone meet and greet. Then I thought there are plenty of other dating sites out there that are possibly better than eHarmony or So, I spent the last two weeks registering on various online dating sites.

Here’s Part 2,


About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

14 Responses to Online Dating Misadventures Part 1

  1. Matches from these services usually go up in flames.(sorry, I could not resist).

  2. I know several women who have found true love on these sites…but of course, I know there are also assholes, serial killers, & idiots! Have you met anybody you really like? x

  3. Bodhirose says:

    I have a sister who has tried these sites and has gone on some enjoyable dates…but nothing serious at this point. She almost always finds glaring personality problems with them and they move on through pretty quickly. She does have a Masters degree in psychology…this could be working against her…or rather for her!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I think the master’s is working for her … she can spot the “loonies” early on so she doesn’t waste her time! 🙂 lol on “glaring personality types” 🙂

  4. becca3416 says:

    Good luck! Internet dating is hard!

  5. Sandra Gonzalez says:

    When I tried E-Harmony I only got matched to weirdos or jerks. When I tried, my account was hacked (they did reimburse my subscription though). I have tried several other sites and found that one can actually meet a good person but only after going through tons of bad, weird or uncomfortable dates. Although you try to weed out the bad ones on the phone or computer, you still go through a lot of dating adventures.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Hey there Sandy! 🙂 OMG I need to catch you up on a lot …. that is if you are the “Sandy” I know …

      • Sandra Gonzalez says:

        Yeah silly, it’s me!… I’m sorry I’ve taken so long to get on here but you know that I was on LaLa Land for a while. I was reading a lot of your stuff and like I’ve always said, you’re so funny!!! I’m so glad you’re doing this….

        • Lafemmeroar says:

          Ha! We’ve got to get together soon ,,, lots of gossip and blah blah blah … luv you lots. 🙂 It’s about time you commented on my blog! Crazy Chick 🙂

          • Sandra Gonzalez says:

            We should! I can’t forget the last time we got together, we laughed so much. With everything going on, it never registered that it was your blog. I remember you invited me but I had to leave and forgot to check it out later. Well, it’s never too late to try and catch up….

Talk to me :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: