Being Sad Sucks

Dear Readers,

Lately I have been thinking that I’m a rather insensitive person. I laugh at the malfunction of the universe because it’s better than crying about it … I say it all the time because … frankly …

being sad sucks…

But I just realized that I haven’t really had a deep thoughtful cry in a very long time. And as “light” as I try to be on this blog, I must admit that my mind is a twisted knot of convolutions most of the time. So … I’ve been asking myself why I react and do certain things the way I do …

I’m a crazy chick when I’m at my best … but is that it? Is it enough to live life always looking at the bright side or the funny side of things? Love? Life? Loss? Relationships? I don’t know … 

I know I’m being nebulous, but … I’m cryptic and private that way.

I’ve been so comfortable in not feeling sad that perhaps I’ve given up on true joy? I mean in the most deep soul-filling way …? I don’t know. I just keep telling myself that being sad sucks … and I haven’t been sad in a long time. 

So I repeat … lately I’ve been feeling rather off balance as if I’m on the verge of … I don’t know what … maybe I don’t want to know. All I know is that struggling doesn’t make one strong … but it does make one understand better. I want to understand myself better … I want to understand people better … I want to understand you better … I want to be more emphatic … sensitive … and I think this requires a bit of letting oneself face the firing squad.

Here’s hoping that the firing squad are bad shots …

I think I need to feed my soul with writing instead of cocktails tonight …

Be well … my friends.

All my best,


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© 2013 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

62 Responses to Being Sad Sucks

  1. Dear L,
    You are Overflowing with Empathy & Love.

    I’ve known this from our first encounter together.

    Love. Love. Love. Xx

  2. Cinnamon says:

    Sounds like TWO things to me. First……..good choice on the writing instead of cocktails. It’s never a good idea to drink if there is even the most remotest of chances that you will be sad. Alcohol will intensifie your sadness, and won’t solve anything. It will only give others the ammunition they need while laughing at your drunken, sobbing self. (this I know from experience)

    And Two……….hormones. You have a case of raging hormones. That is my medical opinion (although I have no alphabet after my name saying that I can dispense medical advice). But, you are female and it happens. A good purging cry will help you and give you a reason to laugh at how you will look with swollen eyes and nose. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes, when you’re always looking at the glass half full……you forget that sometimes it’s just fun to throw that water at someone !

    You’ll get my bill


    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Oh if I have a good cry … a good look at my swollen face will make me laugh! 🙂 I’d never thrown water on someone’s face … I’ve fantasized about it though …

  3. lexiesnana says:

    From what I have read of you on this blog I see a sweet girl that trys to make the best of life.Head high my friend you are beautiful and you are thoughtful .

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thank you Lexie! I can be good and I guess I can be bad … I’m Jekyll and Hyde. I want to be nicer and more sympathetic ’cause as sweet as I am or can be … my tongue can be as sharp as a sword or as blunt as brass knuckles … I need to be more balanced. And I do try to make the best of life because being sad truly does suck! Ah I think I’ll just write my blues away tonight 🙂

  4. ctoby says:

    So, like, whenever any of my girlfriends are uncharacteristically angst-ridden or all screwball emotionally or say things like ’emphatic’ when they mean to say ’empathic,’ I always ask, “Where are you in your cycle?”
    It’s amazing how often the answer is just that simple… You’re a female. Maybe something hormonal is attacking you. Hormones, for example.
    Or maybe something sad happened this time some other year and you’re having an anniversary reaction. Or maybe..and this is a real shot in the dark…you’re…(gasp!) HUMAN???!!!
    Aaaaack! I know, I know. The horror of it is stark and frightening. But you have US, your loyal bloggy pals to remind you to SUCK IT UP, BUTTERCUP and relax. Just sit with it. You’re fine.

    As Dear Abby would say, God rest her soul, “Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood.”
    Okay, that’s actually a lyric from the song ‘Dear Abby’ by John Prine, but does it really matter?

    Sentiment (like self-pity) has it’s place–for about five minutes. Then toss that crap out the window of your soul and move on ffs.

    Love and mushy girl stuff,
    Carla 😀

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      That’s just it … I muse over it and chuck it … ’cause it sucks to be sad … but if something was that important shouldn’t I be sad a little longer? I don’t know. But I’m glad that you and my readers are really making me laugh 🙂

  5. ctoby says:

    PS: Unless it’s sad-movie crying, tears give me a headache and one more thing to be sad/hacked off/irritated about. So I don’t like it.
    Nonetheless, science has shown that emotional crying (as opposed to crying ’cause you got a cat hair in yer eyeball) releases toxins from your bod–so technically it’s a good thing (emotional crying). I still hate it, but if I feel the need, I just go with it and pray that it passes quickly. Oh yeah, and take ibuprofen of course. I’d use heroin, but it turns out I’m allergic to opioids, dammit. Figures.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      lol! You’re making me laugh so much right now … it would be a good thing if more people were allergic to opiods and fats and anything carby. You’d hate what I’m about to tell you right now, but I’ve eaten so much bad stuff over the weekend. So this morning I juiced kale, apples and celery; papaya for lunch; and something vegan for dinner. I ate a whole pound of pasta Saturday … I didn’t think I had it in me to consume so much in one sitting, but now I know that I do.

  6. ctoby says:

    PPS: Stop shoulding on yourself. There is no ‘should’ about this crap. We feel what we feel, and it takes as long as it takes to get over it. RELAX and be patient with yourself. I don’t even know you and I like you fine. So there. And if you ever need any more unsolicited useless advice, I’m always here for ya. Like a cold sore that just won’t go away…hehe…

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Well you know I like you two. I think you have two personalities; the wacky crazy chick who leaves me awesome comments and another more sensible smart crazy chick who writes about eating healthy. I love your skills and love you! 🙂 Thank you for being such a great support system.

  7. denmother says:

    You’ve caught me in a melancholy mood tonight as well. Something about February?

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Hi Denmother. I guess Valentine’s can get that way. But I certainly don’t miss the box of chocolates; sparing me from abusing my body further by eating those things (although delis) would be a cruel act of self-punishment on my part. Don’t get me wrong I love punishing myself with food, but it’s the guilt and regret that I can’t stand.

  8. I think we all have to search for what brings us peace. I’m not a Buddhist but I find their philosophies answer a lot of what throws me about life. I also practice a little voodoo magic. About once a week I write out what I want for myself and my family, put a match to it and send my thoughts out to the Universe. Sounds crazy, (its part of what make me a crazy chick) but it brings me a sense of serenity and most of what I write down eventually happens. I don’t think it matters whether you write, box (this is what keeps my son sane) run, cry your eyes out, do yoga or a little voodoo magic–as long as it works for you.
    You’re an awesomely crazy chick who reaches out to others with your awesomely crazy sense of humor. And even though we’ve never met, you’ve brought enjoyment to my life. Sappy, but true.
    Be happy when you can and accept the rest as a part of makes us human.

  9. totsymae1011 says:

    There’s nothing wrong with you for not being sad. Don’t even begin to miss that emotion or it’ll surely come. You are who you are and that’s better than good enough.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      I think it’s the guilt of not being sad … but at this moment I’m sort of sad about not being sad, but at the same time I’ve just owned up to it and I guess I’m on my way to a better understanding of this dissonance.

  10. Being sad sucks. But you have to really grasp all of the emotions that life gives us. Without “sad”… “happiness” isn’t so exciting. Make sure you just relish the things you have as they come… A few days ago I was on the verge of crying (stressful family situation) and then a very adorable friend of mine took me on a walk and told me how much he likes cats sitting on his car in the morning. It made me stop feeling sad and overwhelmed, and then the biggest smile I have made all week spread all over me! I don’t think it’s bad that I can feel happy again so quickly I think it’s kind of a blessing.
    I hope you can give yourself a break and remember that you can feel whatever way you need to:

  11. I have always thought you were very empathetic and sensitive; and supportive! Don’t tell me you’ve been laughing at me all this time!!

    I think that if you are worried about not being sympathetic enough you are probably sensitive and caring because otherwise you wouldn’t give a shit.

    Being able to laugh is the best stress reliever and negativity breeds negativity and a positive attitude attracts good things; kinda makes sense why you aren’t unhappy. Personally if I didn’t see the humor in life’s twists and turns I’d have curled up in a fetal position and given up long ago.

    You are great just the way you are!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thank you Carrie! Your words of encouragement really soothe my soul 🙂 It’s just that I’ve been in such a weird mood the past couple of weeks. And I love the way you see the humor in “life’s twists and turns” it’s wonderful that you are an AWESOME survivor!

  12. hawleywood40 says:

    We’re a lot alike in that sometimes I vent about the things that irritate or upset me, but I try to do it by looking at and commenting on the humorous side of them ( you see my work related FB posts lol!). To me, that’s the best way to publicly vent because it lets me get it out without being whiny and maybe brings a laugh to others dealing with the same thing. But I’m also a believer in the power of the good long cry now and then. Sometimes, laughing just isn’t enough, and letting myself just acknowledge the sucky and cry it out of my system resets the balance and helps me deal better : ).

  13. Lafemme,
    We count you as one of our best friends in our networking circle, and have always respected your wisdom, humor and sensitivity. These moments that come in life, that make us examine who we are and who we want to be, are important. The fact that you recognize it, only shows how deep you truly are.
    I heard Robin Williams asked in an interview a long time ago, “Do you make a joke out of everything?”
    His face shifted and I noticed a sadness come over him and he said, “If I don’t, I’ll curl into myself and disappear.”
    Sometimes the ones that laugh the loudest in life, cry the hardest. This too shall pass, sweetie. We love you as you are, and what you will become, as a woman is always changing, transforming.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      You are so right and I am honored that you have such considerations for me. I too consider the two of you as one of my closest friends in this virtual reality and I also think that the two of your are sooo beautiful. I just had to get that in. Also, Robin Williams is dead right about need to laugh at the pain … if we couldn’t laugh about it where would we be?

  14. I just had a huge cry day…sometimes its just a release…it just comes out of you…it doesn’t mean you can’t be funny or think things are pretty dum. they ARE. hehe. Just cry and move on. I just blogged about it…something is def up in the universe! Carry on warriorsister!!

  15. These periodic reflections are healthy. Refinding one’s self and redefining
    one’s self – our environment is a dynamic place and so must we be or we become static, irrelevant and then merely evaporate. I get to talk smart like this because I have entered my seventh decade.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      You look good for 7 decades Carl! 🙂 Yes we are all on a journey to self-discovery. We are in constant flux … but truly I’d like to flux my way to a nice partner … I really think it’s time for me. 🙂

  16. We are all a bit of a mess, but some of us are better dressed than others. Sadly, I am a bit of a mess, but also not one of the better dressed. The great thing about Blogging is that your lack of dress sense doesn’t matter, especially if you think you are a duck. Whatever my follies and weaknesses I have met people on here from all walks of who have attracted my greatest admiration. Let me make it quite plain that you are very high on this list. There is a punky courage and honesty and intelligence about you which is enormously attractive and impressive. I would not be brave enough to hug you, but I would buy you a soothing drink and say even the best of men and women cry once in a while. I mean, heavens, I even saw Napoleon crying over a bowl of over-seasoned fruit salad once. Never forget you are one of the good ones. I never shall

  17. All of us, even the most cynical of us feel sad now and then. Just proves we are human, nothing wrong with being human and doesn’t change anything. Good choice on writing rather than cocktails.

    I suspect, despite your face to the world there is a vast well of compassion. This is what allows you to see the world with pragmatism, laugh at the ridiculous and still now and then just be human.

  18. Big hugs, my crazy chick cool friend!

    You have a lot of great things to give the world, your readers and yourself. Sadness balances out our lives. For without it, we would not have compassion and empathy, nor would we embrace and feel gratitude for the stuff that puts a smile on our face.

    You have a lot of compassion and a big heart (I know these things 🙂 ) and when you’re feeling sad, it’s okay to do whatever it is you do to get yourself smiling.

    Sometimes we even have to fake that smile or happiness, and that also helps, because sometimes faking it, means we are closer to the real thing.

    Although, I don’t believe in faking certain things. That’s just wrong. Best to not fake it and give directions….if you get my drift 😉

  19. you have never seemed to me to be uncaring or unsympathetic or cold or unable to feel,.quite the opposite in fact… you just choose laughter and i think there are a couple schools of thought on laughter as a way of dealing with things.. vs the inability to feel sad..or deeply..
    you dont have any other sociopathic tendencies I can see so i am gong with.. there is nothing wrong with it. I would rather laugh than cry.. and humor is a great way to not let things get too out of hand.. i mean there really arent a ton of things that are beyond laughter are there? If you arent finding joy or are feeling flat ..maybe you are in a bit of a rut..seasonal or situational or for whatever reason.. i saw a lot of hormone suggestions on the way down.. but i would also not discount depression.. its kinda sneaky that way.. I hope you are back to feeling you soon.. I know how weird the off feeling an be.. the other thing about depression.. it will after awhile have you believing you are deficient or should be able to snap out of it .. or brought it on yourself.. stuff that would norally make you laugh.. i got a little of that here.. not trying to preach.. just want you to always be laughing …and happy 🙂

    • i guess i should qualify that with .. it sounds weird because you arent saying you are desperately sad.. but you are off and your emotions are at question and a little wonky to you.. sometimes that may be what it is.. and because it dosnt appear how you thought it might look… i dunno.. i just i mean my last comment i stand by but i wanted to explain my reasoning and i ..guess i didn’t do a very good job ;-P

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Thank you very much Lizzie for sharing your insights with me. I too always want to be happy … sadly it isn’t always the case and for me … perhaps being sad sometimes is cathartic. But I am generally optimistic and in this world we all need optimism just to get through the day.

  20. Bodhirose says:

    I think putting the pressure on ourselves to be perpetually in a state of joy is setting the bar way too high. No, I think we can hope for maybe brief spells of happiness interspersed with sadness, depression, hatred, pessimism, etc. You’re doing fantastically. I’m envious of you optimistic types…those ones who always look on the bright side and don’t wallow in misery and self-pity (well, for very long anyway). You are such a bright light…your witticisms and irreverent humor is so much fun. Yes, being sad sucks…you’re right! And I understand these reflective moments that have you wondering about yourself…maybe there is something gearing up to happen for you. I wish only the best to come your way!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Gayle! “… something gearing up to happen to” ME … yes that would be wonderful … wouldn’t it? You know I feel that something big will happen to me this year … I hope it’s not my tush, but my love life that explodes! Oh Gayle .. you’ve made my Friday night … after having a carbfest with my friend … earlier I was on a carb low … and now I’m on an optimistic high because of you. I’m so fortunate to know you Gayle thank you so much for taking the time to care and be a friend. 🙂

      • Bodhirose says:

        I have to tell you how much fun I had over here yesterday…catching up on some of your posts had me smiling and giggling…really had a good time! Well, I felt pissed sometimes too (the guy in the grocery store and your friend’s dumb ex-boyfriend), but even when I was pissed, I was still enjoying myself. So glad I helped your Friday night be a little bit better, Laf…that’s what friends are for. And I’m equally fortunate to know you…what a cool, cool, crazy chick you are! And I do care… xoxo 🙂

        • Lafemmeroar says:

          Thanks Gayle! The wonderful thing about being away from my blog is that the posts are a virtual gold mine for chuckles and I’m sooooo glad you had fun! Luv ya lots!!!!!

  21. Phil Gayle_For Singles and Couples says:

    Laughter is a great stress release, admittedly I think that anyone who laughs at the misfortune of others is twisted and dark but laughing at our own calamities can be very healthy.
    Perhaps you’re just a very pragmatic individual who saves their tears for the real serious, devastating situations which can occur in life.

  22. Scoop Jackson..."News 60" says:

    Hey, Little Roar! It’s good to hear from you again. How are things with you? Aren’t you working on finding a publisher for a new book? If so, how’s that going? Get me up to speed…

    Scoop 🙂

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