The True Meaning of Words in the Dictionary

February 19, 2013 22 Comments

Wikimedia Commons

Wikimedia Commons

I was at the used book store the other day when I came upon a book titled:

“The True Meaning of Words.”

People with corks up their butts have banned this book for decades, but I got my hands on it now and I’m sharing these super-fabulous words with you my dear readers. So here are some of my favorites:

Backbone: A schlong up the butt

Upbeat: A man who masturbates standing up

Brainchild: A 40-year-old man who acts like a kid

Creepologist: A professional creep

Male Enhancement: A man in touch with his feminine side! 

Tadpole: A little wee schlong

Technical Virgin: A chick who’s been poked on every orifice except “one“

Rock n Roll: Wham bam thank you ma’am dude who is asleep before you can say “Is that all I get?” 

Manx: Girdle for men

Whimsical: Someone who breaks out into song at the moment of climax!

Backwater: Real loose bowel movements

Pristine: A prissy adolescent

Deadwood: A flaccid schlong

Highwayman: A homeless schlong

Dictionary: A book about schlongs

Tenderloin: A bruised schlong

Horrific: A slut who’s terrific in the sack

Hormone: A slut moaning

Horsy: What a slut sees

Hoecake: A chick who pops out of a cake during a bachelor’s party

Howdown: A slut who just fainted

Backhoe: A slut who likes it up the rear

Self-Service: Masturbation

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© 2013 Lafemmeroar

Filed under humor Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

22 Responses to The True Meaning of Words in the Dictionary

  1. trjensen says:
    February 19, 2013 at 10:46 pm

    I love this! It is too damn funny.

    Reply
  2. Carrie says:
    February 19, 2013 at 10:58 pm

    My favorite one was Hoedown but then Horrific is pretty good too. I want to hear more! I laughed out loud for real.
    Thanks for sharing

    Reply
  3. countingducks says:
    February 20, 2013 at 1:18 am

    I’m sort of smiling and wincing at the same time, hoping I’m not in there somewhere, although “Brainchild” might ring a bell or sixteen

    Reply
  4. LizzieCracked says:
    February 20, 2013 at 1:37 am

    I wouldn’t mind having this dictionary.. How well known do you think it is though? I mean I am sometimes described as whimsical… and now i have to wonder … cause i mean.. oh nevermind 😉
    did you get my emails?

    Reply
  5. Carl D'Agostino says:
    February 20, 2013 at 4:19 am

    You vely clazy lady you. So I suppose a “stick up”is not a strong arm robbery ?

    Reply
  6. ctoby says:
    February 20, 2013 at 1:01 pm

    MANX!!!!!Buahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha oh yeah it’s right up there with ‘piece of cervix’ baby….Rock on Lafemme, ma sistah by anotha motha! You are so….YOU!
    Would you please post this warning: “WARNING! DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING MATERIAL WHILE YOU ARE INGESTING ANY KIND OF BEVERAGE, ESPECIALLY CARBONATED ONES.” Because seriously. I’m old, dudette. I can’t remember that I’m not SUPPOSED to be drinking anything when I read your stuff. Have mercy, I beg you!!
    Damn, gurl, 😀

    Reply
    • Lafemmeroar says:
      February 25, 2013 at 10:35 pm

      OMG I can’t believe you remember piece of cervix! What a memory 🙂 And I’m happy to cause you a laugh any day … but I’ll try not to do it when you’re drinking carbonated beverages 🙂 Your comment made my night! 🙂

      Reply
  7. Viciously Sweet says:
    February 20, 2013 at 3:35 pm

    I nearly died of laughter at “horrific”
    Also I’m going to use that term of whimsical… all the time now!

    Reply
  8. Inion N. Mathair says:
    February 22, 2013 at 5:45 am

    I can always count on you to bring a smile to my face and the crazy back in my heart. BTW, love the definition of Whimsical. I thought I was the only one that broke out into showtunes. LOL 🙂

    Reply
  9. eatwithfatjoe says:
    February 22, 2013 at 10:32 am

    part of me really liked this….part of me thinks i shouldn’t have….

    Reply
  10. Phil Gayle_For Singles and Couples says:
    April 17, 2013 at 10:09 am

    🙂

    Reply

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