The Crazy Chick Revenge

The Crazy Chick Revenge

Screen Shot 2011-10-31 at 10.59.16 PMHe’s hurt you. Your heart feels like hamburger meat that’s been thrown to the dogs and your self-esteem has gone on vacation on the lonely island of self-pity. We’ve all been through the hell of hurt by a bad SCHLONG. And yes, despite the benevolence of heart we try to embody, it feels damn good to ruminate on the malevolence of REVENGE.

I’ve often ruminated on the orgasmic thought of getting even. And if we didn’t have the police and if there weren’t such a thing as Karma, or a conscience—oh the things I would have liked to do to some of the SCHLONGS I’ve known.

So to protect myself from lawsuits, blame and any other negativities that might come my way as a result of future posts about this topic, let me say this:

DISCLAIMER: The Crazy Chick’s Guide to Orgasmic Revenge is for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to Schlongs imagined or real is purely coincidental. Face it nature wasn’t that creative in creating “man”  except for the men who subscribe to my blog, the men who frequently comment, the members of my B.A.D. Ass Dudes Club and The Crazy Freaks Club. There are good ones out there–yes I’m partial.  Lafemmeroar is not to be blamed, persecuted, pursued or incarcerated for any fatalities, injuries, and/or humiliations that may result from the execution of the ideas chattered-about in this blog. You can however blame her for any chuckles or orgasmic thoughts of revenge that may occur  …

Remember that revenge can be satisfying to think about because we can’t get in trouble if we never act out what ruminates within our NOODLE. It’s good to talk about it with some girlfriends over a glass of wine. Get your chuckles about whacking that schlong. You might think–what’s the point of all that revenge chatter if nothing’s gonna happen. The thing with crazy chicks and revenge is that we can transcend that negative energy toward the culprit of our hurt. We might think about cutting of his little head, but what might actually happen is how his little head suddenly goes limp–FOREVER. We might think about his life going to the toilet and what actually happens is that he suddenly gets–A DIRTY VIRUS. Karma will eventually catch up to a bad SCHLONG.  Meanwhile, we can certainly enjoy ourselves thinking up creative scenarios about getting even.

Now let’s get started with you!

Tell me about your revenge fantasies … 🙂

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© 2013 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

14 Responses to The Crazy Chick Revenge

  1. Elena E. Smith says:

    So this is why I haven’t heard from you in a few weeks…. You’ve been busy. Now, the SCHLONG is gone, so does that mean you’ll be back?

  2. I dated this guy for a while that tricked me into thinking that he was better than me. He cheated on me, made me look like a complete fool, then finally I decided to get my revenge. He was a huge Zeppelin fan, not that we all aren’t, but as a gift to him, I had gotten the complete boxed set of albums. A lot of money to spend when you’re a broke college kid. Anyways, this is long before things went viral, so I had a friend bust out her digital camera while I went straight Office Space on 20+ CDs. After a trip to wal-mart and some modge podge, he had a beautiful poster of me smashing every single one of my gift to him. I apologized to Robert Plant when I saw him in Tulsa.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      You know something … your comment foreshadows the second part of this post. Well done on the “smashings” are I’m sure Robert Plant got a chuckle out of it. 🙂 On a tangent … I get this sick notion of how some “crazy chick” will dust itching powder on a bad schlong’s condom. It would be tricky to pull off, but worth the vid shot of seeing him scratch like a madman.

  3. There is no way to top Shannon’s revenge. She is my new hero. 🙂

  4. Very nice to see you back in the Blogoshere.

  5. The best revenge is doing nothing, not acting or reacting or giving the matter the least bit of attention(does take practice esp betrayal, I know). It must drive the bad people nuts to see they have no more power over you.

  6. 10000movies says:

    Welcome back CC! Thought you were with a ,,, nice schlong having a good time, too busy to blog and when I saw the title of the post I thought “Oops…trouble”. Anyway.
    Sorry to spoil it but revenge really does not take anybody anywhere. Really. Do not think I was never tempted to do it. But it is like throwing gasoline to the fire you try to extinguish. Because the fire is in you (despite the fact that the other person behaved like an ass). So the real challenge is to ask one self “ok, he/she is an ass. I would NEVER have done that to anyone. Ok. But why does it bother me so much? Is it worth it? Getting angry, feeling bitter is doing yourself damage and not the recipient. Enough said 🙂

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      But that’s the whole point of the post. We fantasize about everything from winning the lotto to eating a tub of ice cream … so why not sweet revenge … not money in it, but it no calories either. I think anger is empowering so long as one does not dwell in it. Glad to see you too 10k 🙂 Oh you’ll definitely “not” approve of my next follow-up post … oh well … 🙂

  7. buffalotompeabody says:

    Okay… I’m speaking for all men here. 🙂 if we could be as direct and honest as women vengeful thoughts would vanish. We just don’t have the guts. Men cannot have children. We don’t have the guts. I will say, There are a few Non- empty suit out there.

Talk to me :)

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