Life Expectancies of the Single Woman
August 24, 2013 44 Comments
Wikimedia Commons/Life.com
Life is a daily surprise. Just when you think you’ve got your future planned, fate throws in a monkey wrench wrecking the synchronicity of your world order. If you thought that you’d find your true love by now, but it hasn’t happened yet, don’t fret. I can’t predict your life expectancy, but I can predict what you can expect when you are single.
Expect:
to be alone but not lonely
to be the one who takes out the trash including those on two legs
to be heartbroken, but not damaged
to enjoy flirting with bad boys just don’t expect forever
to not tolerate anything that makes you unhappy
to enjoy Girls’ Night Out
to look at every sexy male “ass” and not feel guilty about it
to “disengage” yourself from a male ass
to be the third wheel that adds humor and light in an otherwise dull pair
to never lose who you are
to cook for one and enjoy eating that one exotic ingredient that everybody hates and only you like
that the only rule in dating is to be yourself
that not all men know how to be just “friends” with a woman
to enjoy walks on the beach while dreaming of wonderful things to come
to never rely on the kindness of a strange, handsome man, but always be gracious upon such instances because you never know when a chance encounter can turn into a love match
to be in love with yourself for as long as you live
You can have a positive attitude about being single or you can blame the monkey wrench. What do you think?
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© 2013 Lafemmeroar
About Lafemmeroar
Lafemmeroar 
aaargh. Okay, I’ll remember that.
Pithy thoughts from my twisted noodle Ren 🙂
I know that you write to express how brilliantly funny you are. But I needed this post so badly tonight… I don’t even think you can understand. For the second time in my existence I found that the guy I was interested in was trying to hide my existence from his long time girlfriend. I am so happy at this moment to be single, and so grateful for funny people in the world like you 🙂
Thanks Lafemmeroar!
I’m glad that my twisted noodle was able to give you some comfort. You know when I started blogging I didn’t really know what to expect, but it’s times like this that keep me going with posting and re-posting. This was an old post that I felt needed a new audience … so glad you found it.
I’m sorry about “that guy” but don’t lose hope. There are good MEN out there. Being single doesn’t mean being lonely. It’s a chance to get to know YOU. You are a beautiful work in progress and I admit that progress hits some rough spots, but we keep on keeping on because if we don’t, then it means that the “Schlongs” (the bad guys) have won and we will not let that happen. I never thought I was funny until I started this blog, but I’ve always believed that laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it. You will heal and learn from this experience … that’s the gift of time. Keep on keeping on Crazy Chick!
Do you know its so long ago now 🙂 I forget! 🙂 The trick is to remember what you said in your last sentence
“to be in love with yourself for as long as you live”… And to keep telling yourself that every day as you get older as you look in the mirror at the stranger looking back!
Have a great Sunday and Sending you some smiles as you brought me yours
Sue xox
Thank you very much Sue! 🙂 I believe and live by every word of this post. It’s not always easy, but ultimately worth it!
It’s all about perspective isn’t it? I LOVE your perspective! Especially the third wheel. I need to remember that’s it’s not all bad.
I’ve had plenty of practice as a “third” 🙂
Another brilliant gem from your twisted noodle. You have beautiful way of blending humor with the truth, Lafemme. How much hope you give to us single girls. Mathair’s just celebrated 18th anniversary with her hubby, my wonderful dad, and it had me down about being the only single girl in the house and it seems all of my high school and college friends are married and well on their way to the double digit anniversaries. Truly needed your words today and will remember my favorite line from this post, “to never lose who you are”. 🙂
I know how you feel. My friends from high school are either married or with kids and/or celebrating their double digit anniversaries! I’m happy with the decision I’ve made … doesn’t mean I want to be alone but while I’m waiting for my fate to meet my future significant other, I’m going to enjoy me. And even when I do meet him, it doesn’t mean that I won’t continue to love myself or keep my identity. It’s been a long road and it hasn’t always been easy, but worth it. Keep on keeping on Inion!
Gave up trying to find that soul mate decades ago. But alone has given time to embrace so many things that are just as fulfilling and even more not contingent on the presence of another.
It’s important to understand that living isn’t necessarily contingent on the presence of another … just our own 🙂 Thanks Carl.
Sometimes my friend you can expect some of these even if you are not single. Then you can expect to be single because you should not have to tolerate this if you bought ‘forever’ with a ring and a f’ng white dress.
I agree Valentine. I gave up the white dress a long time ago … it just gets stained easily anyway. 🙂
And to think…I had all that bliss and loved every minute of it. Then I gave it up and have lived un-happily ever after since.
Oh no you didn’t Cinnamon! 🙂 You rambunctious Crazy Chick!
yeah…..unfortunately I did.
Interesting viewpoints. Don’t sell your life too short on expectations. Thanks can change in a second…
Thank you for your visit!
Scoop
Anytime my new blog buddy! 🙂
A beautiful thing to have a good blog buddy! A good lookin’ dame with a pretty smile…that’s you, not me!
Let’s talk soon…
Scoop
I’m a dame huh? Okay I’ll take that 🙂
Well, that’s what we call the classy gals, at least back in the day. It’s a good thing, a compliment…really!
Scoop
I accept the compliment with grace. Thank you very much kind sir 🙂
Hi Lafemme~although Inion already commented on your newest post. We had to pay another visit to our fav gal-pal’s blog to let her know she’s been nominated by her two~kooky~friends, Inion N. Mathair~ for: The Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award! So, when you have a chance, just drop by our blog to pick up your award, Sister!! 🙂
On my way! 🙂
Love your positive, honest, and funny perspective! 🙂
Thank you very much Coleen! You’ve made my day!!!!!!!!
I’ve been single for over two years. I’m so used to being alone now that I think maybe I’m the only match for me. I don’t know who else would put up with me. :p
I have hope to find my “soulmate” as the “other mates” didn’t work out … 🙂
I like the play on words – “Life expectancies” – very clever! =)
Yes, someone actually thought, when they read the title, that I was referring to “years” I love to twist words and ideas around. That’s just how my noodle works. 🙂
I’m not single, and have not been for decades, but I see a truth here for all women, not just the single ones. Thanks.
Hi Apple! Glad you identified 🙂 We all need to be emotionally independent and love our own company! 🙂
I’m learning to be more independent: emotionally and physically. I’m pretty slow, but I think I’m getting the hang of it.
You will! Just keep on keeping on 🙂 Stay strong!
🙂
A great list for any woman, single, married or otherwise!
Hi Patti! Sorry it took me so long to respond … I wish I can say that I’ve been busier than a one arm paper hanger, but I’ve just been really bad and had temporary amnesia and forgot about my blog!! Oh boy, if I we’re Pinocchio my nose would be so big right now. Luv ya lots you talented Crazy Chick!!! 🙂
Oh this was wonderful 🙂 I’m new to your blog and to wordpress. This is great! I’m here to stay 🙂
Thank you and welcome to the wonderful world of blogging and making new friends on the Internet 🙂
There’s already so many comments. I’m adding one more appreciation. Cool writing. Really like your post 🙂
Thanks Gaurab…I love and appreciate all the comments and likes on my blog … so good for my self-esteem 🙂
Amazing, Thank you for writing which is quite good and best wishes always, and greetings
Thank you 🙂