How to Diet on Thanksgiving
November 21, 2013 17 Comments
Argue with that relative you hate!
The anger and stress will have you reaching for the booze instead of the food.
Imagine that big bowl of buttery mashed potatoes
is a big plate of LARD!
If you don’t, then you’ll end up singing the “Lard-Ass of Seville” instead of “Jingle Bells” come Christmas.
By Caros Ostos Sabugal (Circus Divas Illustrations Gallery) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons
If you like turkey butt (I know I did), remember what came out of it before the stuffing was pushed in it!
That pumpkin pie will turn your figure into the shape of an orange. You’ll have to do lots of “juicing” getting yourself back into shape. 
Wikimedia Commons – David.Monniaux (talk | contribs)
About Lafemmeroar
I gained 4 pounds just looking at a gallon of Dutch chocolate ice cream.
I gain 8 when I actually eat it Carl… 🙂
Now that’s a holiday post!! I was just telling Mathair the other day, that I can get ready to pack on a good twenty pounds that I won’t see leave until after New Years. We spend ten months out of the year, starving ourselves like Anorexics so we can stuff our faces for two months & bitch & moan about the weight gain. I don’t get it. Coarse no sooner that I got it out of my mouth, did Mathair walk over & take the spoon of peanut butter out of my hand & say: “And is this your practice run?” So….I can get ready for the orange like body, lard-ass & Poultry-Butt-bread! A name I’m giving to stuffing courtesy of your brilliant post, Lafemme! Sharing this now.
Okay talking about “poultry-butt” I do love the turkey butt … only my sister in law cooks her turkey in a bag … it’s supper moist, but no crispy skin. I’m going to have to tell her to crisp up the butt for me so I can indulge when I get to their house!
Oh, by the way sweety, I went to rate the post, & like an idiot hit the wrong side of the stars. I eventually hit the five, (which is what Mathair & I wanted to rate your post.) But just in case it didn’t take, no that I tried fixing it & how much we loved it!! 🙂
No worries Inion N. Mathair … I know you chicks have my back as always.
I’m a sucker for pumpkin pie. You can keep the turkey and cranberry sauce. Just give me a pumpkin pie and a can of whipped cream and I’m happy.
I do love pumpkin pie … don’t tell anybody, but I think the Costco pumpkin pies are better than Marie Callender’s.
Good advice. But I think I’ll forgo calling my mashed potatoes ‘lard’ (ick!)
Oh Apple … one of the things I’m looking forward to stuffing in my mouth is a big bowl of mashed potatoes I just love em.
Me too. Love me some carbs! I’m going to have to do some extra Zumba to counteract them.
I really don’t know what you are talking about, I feel so guilty because Thanksgiving for me is still a matter of “what to cook for dinner tonight? . . . .” I’m the one in the long line Wed evening at the supermarket waiting to pay for three pork chops. 😦
Patti … you’re funny! You’re such a modern chick 🙂
Lard and turkey butts – oh, the images should work wonders.
Unfortunately for me … but fortunate for my tush … the turkey butt got tossed in the trash before I got there … oh well … tis life!
Oh Lafem,
It’s good to read your posts again. 🙂
As one holiday passes another looms with the opportunity to indulge and relax a little too much.
My abs are covered in a layer of potato (lard) since I’ve eased up on work-outs and relaxed my low-carb rule.
I’ve been a regular cast member of Lard-ass of Seville over this last year.
I really need to get myself fired from the line-up but it will have to wait until later this week after I indulge myself in some fine wine birthday fruit cake. 😉
Oh I too have a weakness for POTATOES!!!!!! I can’t give it up and I love it anyway I can get it.