The True Meaning of Words in the Dictionary

April 1, 2014 17 Comments

Wikimedia Commons

Wikimedia Commons

I was at the used book store the other day when I came upon a book titled:

“The True Meaning of Words.”

People with corks up their butts have banned this book for decades, but I got my hands on it now and I’m sharing these super-fabulous words with you my dear readers. So here are some of my favorites:

Backbone: A schlong up the butt

Upbeat: A man who masturbates standing up

Brainchild: A 40-year-old man who acts like a kid

Creepologist: A professional creep

Male Enhancement: A man in touch with his feminine side! 

Tadpole: A little wee schlong

Technical Virgin: A chick who’s been poked on every orifice except “one“

Rock n Roll: Wham bam thank you ma’am dude who is asleep before you can say “Is that all I get?” 

Manx: Girdle for men

Whimsical: Someone who breaks out into song at the moment of climax!

Backwater: Real loose bowel movements

Pristine: A prissy adolescent

Deadwood: A flaccid schlong

Highwayman: A homeless schlong

Dictionary: A book about schlongs

Tenderloin: A bruised schlong

Horrific: A slut who’s terrific in the sack

Hormone: A slut moaning

Horsy: What a slut sees

Hoecake: A chick who pops out of a cake during a bachelor’s party

Howdown: A slut who just fainted

Backhoe: A slut who likes it up the rear

Self-Service: Masturbation

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© 2014 Lafemmeroar

Filed under humor Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

17 Responses to The True Meaning of Words in the Dictionary

  1. Carrie Reimer says:
    April 1, 2014 at 8:44 am

    LOL good ones!! The last one reminds me of a few years ago I had gotten a “Self Serve” sign in a load of scrap and I hung it above my bedroom door as a joke and forgot about it. My landlady popped by unannounced to have a visit and I noticed her staring at something. I followed her gaze and saw my self serve sign. She looked at me and I smiled and shrugged and said”What can I say?” she just gave a blank stare. She was a miserable bitch, she probably needed to serve herself more often.

    Reply
    • Lafemmeroar says:
      April 1, 2014 at 8:59 am

      LOL self-service definitely cheers me up 🙂

      Reply
  2. Peter Wells aka Countingducks says:
    April 1, 2014 at 8:50 am

    You learn something every day !

    Reply
    • Lafemmeroar says:
      April 1, 2014 at 8:59 am

      I aim to “edumecate” my readers Peter!

      Reply
  3. Eric says:
    April 1, 2014 at 7:44 pm

    Misfire: A newly divorced Crazy Chick who ignites her Ex’s schlong with untraceable combustible fluids.

    Tokyo Rose: A Japanese Crazy Chick lap dancing her next schlong-victim after she gets him drunk with sake.

    Dramarama: When a Crazy Chick sticks it to a schlong who acts like he is the center of the known universe. A real fullamus rectumus.

    Reply
    • Lafemmeroar says:
      April 1, 2014 at 8:06 pm

      lmao Eric … the “fullamus rectumus” is too precious and I wished I’d come up with it….!!!!! You’re wonderful!

      Reply
  4. MJ says:
    April 1, 2014 at 10:49 pm

    Given that meaning for “Deadwood”, does that mean a “Redwood” is a penis whose owner has been masturbating too much?

    Reply
    • Lafemmeroar says:
      April 2, 2014 at 8:10 am

      Wouldn’t that be more like “chaffed wood”?????? But still a good one MJ 🙂

      Reply

  5. Pingback: The Jolly Lobster Blog Award; All Jolly and No Pinchy « Swim In The Adult Pool

  6. CeeLee says:
    April 5, 2014 at 10:41 am

    I just wanted to let you know that I’ve nominated you
    for The Jolly Lobster Blog Award.
    No, really.
    I did. 🙂

    You can see the details about it at my blog:
    http://wp.me/p2MHY5-1a3

    If you don’t get into the blog awards, that’s okay too.
    I still like you.
    And I won’t make you or threaten to break the appendage of your choice. 😉

    Sincerely,
    CeeLee

    Reply
    • Lafemmeroar says:
      July 1, 2014 at 8:39 am

      I know I’m very late, but thank you soooooooo very much for considering me. 🙂 BTW how have you been?????

      Reply
      • CeeLee says:
        July 2, 2014 at 1:25 pm

        No worries whatsoever about the award, and most definitely no apologies needed.
        I’ve become the Queen of Delayed Response, as life has gotten in the way.
        Things are getting back to normal, slower than I’d prefer but better than not at all. 🙂

        Reply
        • Lafemmeroar says:
          September 15, 2014 at 9:52 am

          I’m the uber queen of delayed responses. Thanks for being so cool CeeLee 🙂

          Reply
  7. Valentine Logar says:
    April 6, 2014 at 11:48 am

    I needed that, I did. Thank you

    Reply
    • Lafemmeroar says:
      May 15, 2014 at 9:39 am

      You’re welcome Valentine 🙂

      Reply
  8. Inion N. Mathair says:
    April 8, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    You should publish this, sweetie, that way us crazy chicks can place our right hand over it and swear allegiance to the club. 😉

    Reply
    • Lafemmeroar says:
      May 15, 2014 at 9:38 am

      Thank you Crazy Chicks 🙂 I’ve toyed with the idea of taking my best posts and making it into a free e-book. I just need the assistance of a graphics person …. 🙂

      Reply

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