Appetite Control On Thanksgiving

The holiday eating frenzy will begin soon.

If you’re worried about gaining weight this Thanksgiving, don’t fret.

I’ve got some tips on how to curb your appetite on turkey day 🙂

 

Tip 1: Argue with a relative you hate!

The anger and stress will have you

reaching for the booze instead of the food.

Tip 2: Imagine that big bowl of buttery mashed potatoes

is a big plate of LARD!

If you don’t, then you’ll end up singing the

Lard-Ass of Seville” instead of “Jingle Bells” come Christmas.

By Caros Ostos Sabugal (Circus Divas Illustrations Gallery) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

Tip 3: If you like turkey butt

remember what came out of it

before the stuffing was pushed in it!

Tip 4: That pumpkin pie will turn your figure

into the shape of an orange.

You’ll have to do lots of “juicing”

getting yourself back into shape. 

Wikimedia Commons – David.Monniaux (talk | contribs)

We eat with our eyes, our nose and our mouth … so put on a blindfold, plug your schnauzer and tape your pie hole … See no food + Smell no food = Eat no food. Note: You might also want to plug up your ears  … nothing worse than hearing: yum, good, scrumptious and delish when you’re dieting.

Good Luck Everybody 🙂

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© 2014 Lafemmeroar

About Lafemmeroar
Writer, blogger, humorist. Visit my blog to know more :)) Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it.

9 Responses to Appetite Control On Thanksgiving

  1. Those tips are useful everywhere. I’ve actually been invited to a Thanksgiving dinner by an American friend, so I shall bear this wise advice in mind 🙂

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Only if you have an uncontrollable appetite for big birds and carbs 🙂

  2. Excellent tips! My tip: it’s easier for me to not eat then to stop eating (apply this to chips or nuts or dessert). Once I get a taste of something, I can’t stop. But If I have the self-control to just say no, I’m good!

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Yup, I can look at a bag of chips, but one chip and it’s all over… rather…I’ll finish the whole bag–family size!

      • 🙂

  3. Thankfully I don’t love most holiday foods, think most are not fit for consumption. The booze though, that will add to the waistline and make you argue more with relatives you hate. Problem with that one.

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Booze is a troublemaker and makes the holidays that more memorable 🙂

  4. eva626 says:

    hahah the first one!!! i just went shopping instead lol

    • Lafemmeroar says:

      Ha ha … these posts are based on true REALITY! 🙂

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